Licorice Gets a Mention, But Not Julia


My favorite part of the convention was the soggy hamster story. Admittedly, I did not watch any of the live coverage until last night, when my father-in-law wanted to see Kerry's speech. I thought the role of Kerry's daughters was to introduce him, but it turned out they introduced the first film, which was followed by another film and many more introductions.

The Democrats evidently have never heard the expression, "Less is more." After a while, I expected Licorice himself to pop up on stage, but perhaps Kerry's campaign was afraid he would do something embarrassing, since he "was never quite right" after the near-drowning. Just when I thought I could stand the introductions no more, Kerry came on stage, and I started yearning for another cute story or another adulatory film.

Speaking of the films, I did not notice any mention in Kerry's biography of his first wife; the film made it seem as if he had given birth to his daughters all by himself. I guess the Democrats would like the public to assume Alexandra and Vanessa's mother is dead rather than divorced. Very classy.

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  1. Well, if kerry wins he’ll be the second divorced President. Well, Jeez, more than half of America has been divorced. I wonder…will Teresa be the first foreign born first lady?

  2. No. Louisa Adams was born in Britain. Or so I think I recall… my American history is a bit rusty.

  3. Did you see how Kerry rubbed the neck of all the men who were on that boat with him?

    Shake hands, sure; hug, OK; rub necks???

    Fricking creepy!!

  4. I guess the Democrats would like the public to assume Alexandra and Vanessa’s mother is dead rather than divorced

    Kerry would be only the second divorced man to become president. The first was Reagan.

  5. True. And, to shamelessly steal from one of last night’s talking heads, I don’t remember the Republicans talking up Jane Wyman in 1980 either.

  6. Not to defend the twit, but…when’s the last time YOU voluntarily brought up past indiscretions, or past loves gone wrong? Or past baby-mamas that you’d rather not talk about?

    Oh, come on, guys, we all know “the look”. The mere mention of the name of a past lover, and your current girlfriend/wife shoots you “the look”, as if to say, “mention her name again, and it’s your signature on the alimony payments, you insensitive monster…”

    And Kerry’s supposed to not only voluntarily bring up the subject in front of his wife, but in front of the entire country?

    That’d be like Laura Bush getting up there and saying, “Well, you know, I’m fond of the good ol days, like, when I ran a stop sign and killed my best friend. Or when George got arrested for that DUI. Or when George went on that big coke bender and ended up naked in my ma’s bed…” (ok, so I made that last one up).

    Yes, the Reagan-lovers on FNC’s Fux n Friends morning show also lamented on Kerry’s lack of mention of Julia…without a word on their hero’s similar actions.

  7. Well, Theresa Heinz Kerry brought up Senator Heinz. Of course, he died tragically, but it was unusual bringing up and praising a Republican Senator who got into notable scraps with Kerry. She is an unusual one, though.

  8. Good one Evan.

    PS Hey Jacob, this is almost like that show Crossballs! I read your article about that show over at, very good read, and I think you hit the nail on the head, that we are so willing to think the worst of our political opponents. I have only watched the show in passing, but the way you have described it, I have to give it another go. I need to be able to laugh at talking head shows, because normally they usually have the opposite effect on me. Especially when you brave that rediculous Bill O’Reilly’s ironically named, the No-Spin Zone.

  9. Is it me, or did that NY Times story belong on the OP/ED page? A more biased bit of garbage I have not seen since reading the L.A. paper.

  10. Actually his first wife couldn’t handle politics, hence the divorce. It would have been pretty crass to use her in a political event.

  11. The key to the Kerry campaign is Winter Soldier.

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