Hit & Run

Memo: How To Fix Kerry's NASA Pic Problem

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Memo to Kerry Campaign:

The unfortunately hilarious NASA photo of you in the "bunny suit" is a big-time fuckup that reminds too many voters of another Bay State presidential wannabe. And it doesn't help to explain that you were accompanied by failed presidential candidate former Sen. John Glenn (D-Ohio). He may be a legit astronaut and all that, but his last interplanetary adventure drew even fewer eyeballs than the final season of Josie & The Pussycats in Outer Space.

Your spokesposse hasn't helped by bitching and moaning that it was a leaked snapshot. Talked about mixed messages: You're implicating the very same useless invaluable space agency that the missus praised for showering the rings of Saturn with American tax dollars!

You need to mount a swift, serious, and sensational counter-spectacle. The best option: Track down Mike Dukakis, where ever the hell he's been hiding out, throw a drink or two on him, and beat the living bejeezus out of him.

Just make sure you're wearing something photogenic this time. Can you still fit it into your sailor suit?