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Thar Be Pirates!

Jeff Taylor | 5.7.2004 9:14 AM

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OK, it might be mean to enjoy Roger Ebert's wicked review of the Olsen Twins' feature film debut, but damn, how else would we know that music pirates are the bad guys?

If this is part of the effort to "educate" the young on copyrights and wrongs, Hollywood is indeed doomed.

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NEXT: Michael Moore, Publicity Whore

Jeff Taylor is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. Madog   22 years ago

    All of thier previous films have either been straight to video or TV movies. My guess is they're trying to make the transition to adult actoresses, and over come their child-star past. To their credit, their acting skills have improved over the years. Their early stuff is very, very bad. Eventually they're going to have to realize they can only take the twin thing so far, and do indepent work if they want to stay in the business.

  2. Anon   22 years ago

    "they're going to have to realize they can only take the twin thing so far"

    they haven't taken the twin thing nearly as far as most of their fan's fathers would like....

  3. s.m. koppelman   22 years ago

    Andy Richter's post-Conan career would appear to be in trouble.

  4. Ken Shultz   22 years ago

    Whatever information we got out of those detained Iraqis probably could have been gotten just as easily by forcing them to watch Mary Kate and Ashley movies.

    Given a choice, I know I'd rather smash my thumb with a hammer than have to watch one of their movies every night for a week.

  5. Just testing the 1st Amendment   22 years ago

    Anon said:
    "They haven't taken the twin thing nearly as far as most of their fan's fathers would like..."

    Will posting to this site get me in trouble with the kiddie-porn kops?

    Not that there's not everything wrong with that.

    Can I say "do*b*e d*l*o" without getting banned forever?

    Testing...testing...

  6. OL   22 years ago

    I love it when Ebert hates a movie and goes sarcastic: "Because the movie all takes place during one day and Roxy is being chased by a truant officer, it compares itself to 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off.' It might as reasonably compare itself to 'The Third Man' because they wade through sewers."

    OK, so who's the third twin?

  7. Russ D   22 years ago

    Jeff, if you're gonna start a thread about movies (yeah, I know it's about piracy), couldn't you at least start one about Super-Size Me which would at least generate a shitload of wacky comments? And Ebert's review of that movie is pretty funny 'cause he hardly even mentions the film itself.

  8. Larry   22 years ago

    Ebert is a very sick man. I know he's always been a bad reviewer, but lately he can barely remember what's happened. I say leave him alone and let him die in peace.

  9. Mr. Nice Guy   22 years ago

    I thought the bald guy died..

  10. Debut?   22 years ago

    Jeff, are you sure this is the Olsen's "feature film debut?" Haven't they starred in several feature-length films already?

  11. JAT   22 years ago

    I'm pretty sure all their previous offerings were the straight to video kind, but I could be wrong.

  12. zombyboy   22 years ago

    Brilliant review--it mentioned more than enough of the movie for me to get the flavor, the concept, and the warning...

  13. Andy   22 years ago

    I wonder if the music pirates smoke cigarettes, too. That would, like, make them totally double-evil and stuff, ya know?

  14. Andy   22 years ago

    I wonder if the music pirates smoke cigarettes, too. That would, like, make them totally double-evil and stuff, ya know?

  15. brooke   22 years ago

    "Feature-length" is not the same as "Feature Film." "Feature Film" means it runs in theaters, while "feature-length" means that it could have run in theaters (that it was a long enough)had it not sucked and gone straight to video, like the previous Olsen twins' offerings.

  16. chilly   22 years ago

    Did you guys know that the Olsens aren't identical but fratenal twins? That ruins the whole thing. They're just regular sisters. Big deal.

  17. Katie   22 years ago

    I saw the mary-kate and ashley movie...and being a teen i could really understand the whole music pirating thing. i know people who do that..and its good that the teen demographic knows that pirating music is illegal.
    by the way, this is a great site...my mom showed it to me and showed me that this post was on it. i read others and are a really good alternative to left wing news reports and opinions on tv and other websites. thanks for being so open minded to people of all politcals parties and walks.
    ~KaTiE

  18. Katie   22 years ago

    I saw the mary-kate and ashley movie...and being a teen i could really understand the whole music pirating thing. i know people who do that..and its good that the teen demographic knows that pirating music is illegal.
    by the way, this is a great site...my mom showed it to me and showed me that this post was on it. i read others and are a really good alternative to left wing news reports and opinions on tv and other websites. thanks for being so open minded to people of all politcals parties and walks.
    ~KaTiE

  19. Katie   22 years ago

    I saw the mary-kate and ashley movie...and being a teen i could really understand the whole music pirating thing. i know people who do that..and its good that the teen demographic knows that pirating music is illegal.
    by the way, this is a great site...my mom showed it to me and showed me that this post was on it. i read others and are a really good alternative to left wing news reports and opinions on tv and other websites. thanks for being so open minded to people of all politcals parties and walks.
    ~KaTiE

  20. Katie   22 years ago

    I saw the mary-kate and ashley movie...and being a teen i could really understand the whole music pirating thing. i know people who do that..and its good that the teen demographic knows that pirating music is illegal.
    by the way, this is a great site...my mom showed it to me and showed me that this post was on it. i read others and are a really good alternative to left wing news reports and opinions on tv and other websites. thanks for being so open minded to people of all politcals parties and walks.
    ~KaTiE

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