Laugh On, Fatboy


Jacob Grier's piece on the USA LOWFAT act is just a parody… for now. As Jacob explains, he used real quotes from anti-obesity activists to put the piece together. Incidentally, I'm starting to think my tombstone is going to read "Coined the term reductio creep." Not sure yet whether that's depressing or not.

NEXT: Secret Sauce? Loose Cannon? Metaphorical Spice?

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  1. I’m thinking most panhandlers aren’t concerned about excess carbs.

  2. Julian, it could be worse. It could be misstated as “Julian Sanchez – Well known as a reductio creep.” 😉

  3. The Atikins diet is bullshit because our bodies absolutely need carbs…it’s what it burns as fuel. If your body doesn’t get enough carbs to fuel you through your day, it will burn muscle. So your panhandler, especially if he hasn’t been eating much, most definitely needs those carbs.

    If you really want to loose weight, try exercise.

    (Sorry for the rant, but I’m sick of hearing about this Atkins nonsense.)

  4. Yo, Julian, if you want that on your tombstone, you might want to check with Balko‘s engravers first, to avoid copyright infingement…

  5. Nah, I’ll get “coined”; Radley will get “popularized”.

  6. This is no parody.

    There was a panhandler in front my closest Wendy’s at lunch today. He wanted money so I offerred him a burger instead. He said “sure”. I came out of the restaurant with two Big Bacon Classics, Atkins friendly, meaning no bun and instead large leaf lettuce wrapping the burger. He took one look at it and told me “this isn’t a burger. There’s no bun.”.

    So I think to myself, the world needs a “Donate your Carbs” drive, or “Exporting America: Send your Carbs to Africa” or maybe even a “Get out the Carbs” drive. The Anti-Obesity Cartel might not want those Carbs, but someone does. My new favorite panhandler does.

  7. As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing in the world better than a double cheeseburger from McDonalds’. Grease and fat are our friends.

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