Governor Kinky?

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Ahnold? Forget that square… musician and mystery author Kinky Friedman has announced his plan to run for governor of Texas.

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  1. Ride ’em, Jewboy!

  2. The one book of his that I attempted to read proved indigestable. But I love his music, especially “We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You” — the only song ever to rhyme “Baruch atah Adonai” with “What the hell you doing back there, boy?” He’s got my vote.

  3. …or he would have my vote, if I still lived in Texas. And voted.

  4. Texas is the home of Jim Hightower, Molly Ivins and my ex-wife. On the plus side, you have the Kinkster. The dirty little secret about Kinky is that in person he’s a genuine mensch. Who says they ain’t making Jews like Jesus any more?

    (For the record, I thought “A Case Of Lone Star” was a great read. Alas, after the closing of the Lone Star Cafe it just didn’t seem like Greenwich Village any more…)

  5. “A Bisquit in every oven, a bun in every bed”

    He’s got my enthusiastic vote!

  6. Kinky has said some very intemperate things about Mother Teresa.

    Imus: You were generally touch genuinely touched by the death of
    Princess Diana..

    Kinky: I I was, and I’m a little surprised that you, you know, that you
    didn’t seem to I D with it that heavily, and of course maybe you were
    still emotionally spent from the Vercacci funeral, I don’t know, but
    ah I personally, ah yeah, I..

    Imus: ..How about Mother Teresa?

    Kinky: ..I don’t think Mo, Mother Teresa is trying to save souls,
    and ah Diana was trying to help people, to do good, there’s a big
    difference there. Mother Teresa’s, wants to save souls for Jesus.

    Imus: ..Well that’s idiotic, I mean Mother Teresa was going around ah..

    Kinky: ..Mother Teresa was..

    Imus: ..[unintelligible]..

    Kinky: ..friends with Baby Doc Duvalier..

    Imus: ..oh well that’s..

    Kinky: ..I mean I don’t want to trash this woman, I mean she died..

    Imus: ..well that’s idiotic, you’re an idiot..

    Kinky: ..I’m not running down a..

    Imus: ..yes you are..

    Kinky: ..four-foot four-foot-eight dead person now..

    Imus: ..well you’re a..

    Kinky: ..I’m just saying her interest was to save souls for Jesus,
    she didn’t care..

    Imus: ..I don’t think..

    Kinky [over]: ..[unintelligible] go over there and..

    Imus: ..nonononono, nonono..

    Kinky: ..I’m sorry, it’s true..

    McCord: ..to help people..

    Imus: ..I don’t, I think you’re crazy..

    Kinky: ..No, it’s absolutely true..

    Imus: ..well Mother Teresa was picking the lepers up out of the
    gutter and taking them back and fixing them up and and helping them
    die with some sort of dignity..

    Kinky: ..yeah if they..

    Imus: ..She didn’t give a damn whether they wer..

    Kinky: ..[unintelligible]..

    McCord: ..oh absolutely she..

    Imus: ..well maybe she did..

    Kinky: ..yeah she did, she she that was the whole thing, how many
    souls she could save for Jesus. You know, when the Pope sent ah
    Mother Teresa out to ah Los Angeles, to cover the ah the area of
    the little [unintelligible], and ah he called her a few months later
    and to see how things were going, and ah he she wasn’t there got her
    answering machine and, it said, and it said, hi, hi, this is Terry,
    I’m not around the phone right now..

    Imus: ..You’re just an idiot..

    McCord: ..but your call is important to me..

    Imus: ..well you think, so you think, well so here we have, this Mother
    Teresa was a living saint, and you and you think that that Princess
    Diana did mor..

    Kinky: ..I think she’s a mouthpiece for the Vatican, yes she’s a good
    Catholic and..

    McCord: ..oh my god..

    Kinky: ..ah that’s all she say about it..

    Imus: ..well I mean that’s..

    Kinky: ..I have to be honest with you, Princess Diana has touched
    my heart, she really has..

    Imus: ..Well you’re just a a shallow..

    Kinky: ..No I’m not..

    Imus: ..transparent..

    Kinky: ..I’m a very very..

    Imus: ..baboon..

    Kinky: ..complex..

    Imus: ..and a and a former friend now, of mine.

    Kinky: ..All this over Mother Teresa?

    Imus: ..No, no, nothing nothing would come between us ah but..

    McCord: ..but but there just being a a..

    Imus: ..at this point but..

    McCord: ..this is silly, being a fool..

    Kinky: ..well I’m not running down Mother Teresa, I’m just..

    Imus: ..no, no, of course not..

    Kinky: ..I’m just saying that Princess Diana has a pure love, I think.
    I mean this is really a stupid thing to try to..

    Imus: ..Let me ob ah be ab it’s an idiotic position to take I mean..

    Kinky: ..here we have..

    Imus: ..foolish..

    Kinky: ..Willie Nelson out of, I mean such a selfless gesture to
    come to New York to help the Kinkster promote his book..

    Willie: ..Just remember Elvis’s final words..

    Kinky: ..which were?

    Wille: ..corn..

    Imus: ..Thanks for singing Hello Wall and ah all [unintelligible]
    and Larry thank you, good to see you..

    Larry: ..it’s always a pleasure Don..

    Imus: ..Kinky I love you and I..

    Kinky: ..I love you..

    Imus: ..you’re an idiot..

    Kinky: ..let’s not let Mother Teresa come between us..

    Imus: ..no no I guess she’s not going to..

  7. Intemperate or incomprehensible?

  8. Kind of reminded me of some of those ‘Interview’ magazine ‘interviews.’

  9. I read one book of his, and the mystery hinged on the dead woman’s period. Just dumb.

    But I don’t vote in Texas.

  10. Best line:

    He was originally for the war in Iraq, he said, and argued with Willie Nelson about it. “He’s a tyrannical bully,” he told Nelson, “and we got to take him out.”

    “No,” he says Nelson objected, “he’s our president, and we got to stick by him.”

  11. “The dirty little secret about Kinky is that in person he’s a genuine mensch.” Is that last word a typo? Did you mean mensch or letch?

  12. On the Mother Teresa thing, Friedman was giving her a bum rap. Her ministry’s policy was to provide whatever kind of spiritual comfort the dying wanted, regardless of religion. They even performed Hindu rites themselves, when necessary. No doubt she did see her mission as “winning souls for Jesus,” but not at the expense of brutalizing a dying person’s free will or dignity.

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