Bride of Chucky


Via Andrew Sullivan, I see that the sick puppies over at NR have produced a talking Ann Coulter doll. It spouts such legendary Coulter bon mots as "Even Islamic terrorists don't hate America like Liberals do." A step up from "math is hard," I guess. But just barely.


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  1. I want one! So I can place it on my desk at work, and when feeling a bit frustrated, slap it across the room.


  2. The cocaine and indoor plumbing lines are good. It’s too bad she can’t be that funny more often. She could take Rush’s place when he OD’s.

  3. I just thought I’d mention, I studied that site for a while to make sure it wasn’t a joke.

  4. Re: NR, that appears to be a branding thing. You can get it from “Human Events Book Service” too (

    The important question is of course, what kind of fee do you get to record 18 phrases for a talking doll?

  5. Does it come with an Adam’s apple?

  6. Damnit Mo!!! I was just typing “Funny, they left out her adam’s apple!”


  7. And good blog Mo, I have it bookmarked.


  8. I can’t laugh at the NR crowd anymore. They scare the shit out of me now. They not only believe the stuff that comes out of their mouths, now their crowd is in power and they act on it.

    Everybody check out the Rumsfeld doll? “The only choice one has is to proceed and use coercion.”
    Aw- hah- hah – hah – hah – hah (shivers up my spine ala Homer S.)

    This Halloween I think I’ll have a National Review theme party. A Jonah-O-Lantern on the front porch and the ghost of Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction piled up on the lawn. It’d be the most frightening house on the block

  9. How about a dick between her legs to go with the adam’s appple??

  10. I never understood what that old Barbie Doll controversy was all about. Math IS hard!

  11. This sort of thing disturbs and saddens me. NR used to be a reasonable source of some good info and opinion. Buckley did, after all, in ’96 or ’97 see to it that an entire issue was dedicated to the virtues of legalizing drugs.

    But Jonah seems to revel in mischaracterizing and dissing libertarians. And embracing Ann Coulter? Way too bad.

  12. I honestly can’t tell if this is supposed to be serious or not. Actually, I can’t tell if the real Ann Coulter is supposed to be serious or not.

  13. The Ann Coulter doll is a sick thing, but funny none the less. However, if they come out with a John Ashcroft doll that spouts, “Americans have no King but Jesus,” I will undoubtedly vote for Kucinich if he was to get the dem nomination!

  14. Jonah doth protest too much – he’s not so much against libertarianism as trying very hard to explain why he’s not a Libertarian.

    Also, I think NR thinks of the Coulter doll as a joke. Didn’t they fire her, after all?

  15. Jonah is opposed to some wierd anarcho-wacko version of libertarianism that has no existence outside of his own head.

    Like many conservatives, he hates seeing the government used to advance the pet projects of liberals, so he sympathizes with libertarians, but he can’t quite bring himself to admit that the government shouldn’t be used to advance his pet projects, so he has to distance himself from libertarians. Very conflicted, no?

  16. The Coulter doll is nice, but I’ll stick with my Realdoll for now.

  17. I want that Rumsfeld doll, as long as it has his most bad-assed statements (the examples weren’t too great).

    One of my favorite things about Rummy is the way he’s brought the word “kill” back into the military’s vocabulary. Not “nuetralize” the enemy or some shit — “kill” them.

    As in, what should we do with Al Qaeda and the Taliban? We should kill them.

    I like that clarity.

  18. oh, the last comment was me

  19. Ah, here’s the problem. Somebody set this thing to “evil.” I’ll just switch it over to “good.”

  20. Kevin

    I don’t think Coulter’s switch has a “good” position. Just “evil” and “extremely evil”.


  21. oooo Todd you sicko I know… Uh wait, I mean “I have no idea what you’re talking about”

  22. An Anne Coulter Barbie Doll – seems just a bit redundant to me.

  23. May I make a suggestion? How about Al Franken as “Ken” to Ann Coulter’s “Barbie”?

  24. The libertarian “libertine” streak Golberg critcizes is the one that is pretty rampant in this magazine, and one which seems to be criticized by people in these blogs all the time. One of his statements that I liked was that maybe it’s us that aren’t representative of libertarianism, not Reason.

    For example, Bailey’s column on the Schiavo case confuses the “right to die” with “the mandate to kill people in vegetative states.” Even if everything Bailey said is taken as true at face value, it has no bearing on the legal issue of whether Schiavo’s wishes were to remain alive in that state or not, since she had no living will. Nor does Bailey mention that Schiavo’s husband has a fiancee and received a massive settlement to take care of Schiavo, the majority of which he refused to use to seek treatment for her, which certainly seems to be a conflict of interest.

    I think when the NR crowd criticizes us on the basis of agenda-pushing articles like this, it’s a fair criticism. There’s a difference between arguing for the right to die and skewing an article to make that point in an unprincipled way.

  25. Matt Barr is correct, NRBookservice and Human Events book service are really the Conservative Book Service – – and that’s where the doll offer originates, not that any of this matters.

  26. But Julian, “[b]y the age of fourteen, you’re either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster,” so I fail to see why you deserve to have an opinion about me or anything else. Best to give up on that silly graduate school notion. Oh, and I’ll have mine well done.

  27. “young libertines all, lusting for life and liberty!” Description of the founding fathers on an old Firesign Theatre album

    Back to the Colter doll. More proof you can?t do satire anymore. (I miss it.) What scares me about the right is that they are either nuts or a self-parody anymore. Virtually every quote the doll makes is absurd. I wonder if that?s intentional to increase sales among liberals. Am I too cynical or just enough?

    I think most of America is conservative (small government, personal responsibility, low taxes) but when I vote for the conservative party I get bigger government, military adventurism, abridgement of freedom, and environmental recklessness. The best thing about the Dems is that they are more inept.

  28. I ordered a dozen to solve my Christmas gift list.
    I paid for them with the money I might have used to extend my decades old Reason subscription. If I want to read petulance against a strong conservative woman I can just re-read the Sadamocrat questioning of Judge Brown.

  29. Mona, great post. Excellent. Perfect. I have nothing to add:)

  30. I must have missed something. Since when is Ann Coulter one of “America’s Presidents”?

    When I was a kid my friend had an Alien action figure with an inner set of jaws that shot out when you pressed a button. That is what this action figure needs to be complete.

  31. I Miss Virginia: Excuse me, but the writers of Reason, and those of us who read it, are not libertines — or if we are, that is incidental to our libertarian principles. Bailey’s article on the Schiavo matter is largely on track, and you are mistaken on many counts. Michael Schiavo bent over backwards to rehabilitiate his vegetating wife, unto going to nursing school to learn how to care for her (if a recent newspaper account is accurate) and flying across the country to try a long-shot experimental procedure to restore her cognition(it failed). He waited until she had been in her nether state for almost a decade before he gave up. Moreover, her trust money is exhausted — there is nothing for him to “get.”

    But even if you were not entirely mistaken about the Schiavo matter, Jonah Goldberg’s petulant and ill-conceived taunts at libertarians are contemptible. Libertarians could make common cause with some on the right on many occasions, but it is most hard to do so when the right insists on dismissing us all as libertines concerend with little more than fucking and toking. I’m a grandmother who lives a very sedate lifestyle, and I agree with 90% of what I read in Reason, which for me, is an astonishing turn of events vis-a-vis any sinlge source. And guess what? Among the 10% of area in which I disagree is that I strongly tilt pro-life on the abortion issue. Like NR. But Goldberg is still a mindless gasbag.

    Yeah, your words sort of got me going — I’m usually more temperate. Kudos to you.

    Perhaps you would like to try a variety of specifics showing that Reason is run and read by a bunch of hedonistic libertines who are unguided by political *principle? Hmmm?

  32. Uh, oh Julian, sounds like you pissed her off– Miss Hunsecker’s gonna have you flipping burgers once she scuttles those grad school apps.

  33. For the love of God, where is the talking Baghdad Bob doll? We’re talking hours of entertainment here:

    “We are not afraid of the Americans. Allah has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid…” (dramatic pause) “…and they are condemned.”

    “The Americans are nowhere near the airport. They are lost in the desert. They cannot read a map. They are retarded.”

    “It has been rumored that we have fired Scud missiles into Kuwait. I am here now to tell you we do not have any Scud missiles, and I don’t know why they were fired into Kuwait.”


  34. Why the animosity against Coulter? Oh! That?s right, REASON, over the last several years, has morphed into the mouthpiece for the far left Democrats.

    New Slogan for the current REASON staff ?Free minds ? as long as you agree with me, Free Markets ? who cares?

    You might try advertising in The Nation for new readers ? similar mind set and all.

  35. Ah, so THAT’s why you’re all so dead-set against the New Deal. You’re upset that it will delay the inevitable day when the contradictions of capitalism grow too much to bear.


  36. Gene 6-Pack wrote,
    “I ordered a dozen to solve my Christmas gift list.
    I paid for them with the money I might have used to extend my decades old Reason subscription.”

    Hold on just a minute. Those dolls cost 29.95 apiece. So Gene’s out 29.95 times 12. He paid with his Reason subsciption money which is around $15. What was your home planet again, Gene ?

  37. Oh, sure BWB, it’s only “far left Democrats” who have a problem with Coulter. There aren’t ANY Old Right types who are sick of her endless “treason” charges against anyone who fails to jump on the bandwagon of the National Security State and its perpetual wars. I guess Buchanan and Rockwell are now on the far Left–amazing! Shit, even David Horowitz jumped on her ass for confusing liberals with leftists, and impugning the hawkish credentials of the Cold War Liberals he so idolizes.

    The problem, BWB, is that your critical thinking abilities rank up there with Ann Coulter’s.

  38. ^I think it was planet HYPERBOLE. Once you get used to it, you’ll like it.

  39. I want Two!!!

  40. I want Two!!!

  41. I want Two!!!

  42. BWB: Coulter is a religious nut, which is a form of psychosis believeing in invisible creatures that talk to you and give you orders. You probably know the type well from your days in a Mosque, speaking in tougues to Mohammad and his houris.

    The nuts who read The Nation are also religious fools who want their form of worshipping the state imposed on all.

    The Reason readers seem to avoid both sides of these wars of religion currently going on throughout the world.

  43. Kevin: You make an interesting comment. Where can I go to jump on Coulter’s ass? Juct gag her first, though.

  44. Dummies; the doll is by

  45. I actually took the time to read all of the comments made by those that responded to this Anne Coulter doll thing. There seems to be one commen element in every single response. There is not one response that actaully makes any attempt to reasonably respond to the claims that Anne makes. No attempt to make any counter-point based on facts. No attempt to disassemble Annes position with logical reasoned discorse. Why is this? If you disagree with her politics, thats fine. But what these responses demonstrate is sadly the liberal in-ability to fight for a liberal position without hyperbole, demogogery, and mean spirited attacks. You fight for your positions not based on merit of the point. Because the liberal points hold very little merit. So you resort to what children do when they are faced with logic and reason they disagree with, you name call. I find it so IRRONIC that liberals call themselves open-minded, and for choice. You all are the most intollerant close-minded people on this earth.

    Having said all that. I live in fear of the day liberals figure out that the strategy of hyperboly, demogogery, and attack is not working. Ask yourselves this – What has liberal political machine done that would lead to such a resounding CONSERVATIVE/LIBERTARIAN victory.

    You all make it soooooo easy to win.

  46. She will resume her queen ship and all the kings horse including the saint Charles will cum tubbling down

  47. EMAIL:
    DATE: 01/19/2004 10:40:25
    Truth is a kind and gentle lie.

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