Feds want kids' urine


Your federal study money at work:

In May, as the New York Times reported, "a federally financed study of 76,000 students nationwide, by far the largest to date, found that drug use is just as common in schools with testing as in those without it."

Did anybody send a copy to the Office of National Drug Control Policy?

Yesterday, Drug Czar John Walters told New England governors that drug testing school kids "is a tool that will make a difference… It's time has come."


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  1. Hugs are better than drugs–except for Ritalin.

  2. In China they collect plastic barrels full of human urine; you will see it on railroad sidings and the like ready for transport. Its for some traditional Chinese remedy or remedies that call for such.

  3. If one tests children for drugs in a particular school, can one truly refer to that school as one where children have not been tested for drugs?

  4. Why in a democracy do we have politicians we call Czars?

    Who thought this was a good thing?

  5. because “drug czar” looks dope as fuck on a hoodie.

    i am so very glad i sneaked out of school before all this drug testing/drug giving became popular parts of the curriculum for the “unruly.”

  6. You’re worried about “czar”s when we refer to the USA as the “homeland” and there’s such a thing as the “Patriot Act”?

    On the topic at hand, does anyone know whether parents can opt out of having their children tested? And does that stuff that gives you a false positive on the marijuana drug test still work with the assay they use these days?

  7. I always thought “czar” was originally used mockingly, and the gummint was so out of touch they not only didn’t get the joke but also co-opted the term. Even if they technically don’t use the term, they really should try to poo-poo it’s use. That they never even object to it is telling.

  8. As a current high school athlete (Cross Country, for the record), I will testify that waiting in line for an hour to have your urine in a smelly football locker room while Staind’s “It’s Been A While” is on repeat is a glimpse into hell.

  9. It’s only a matter of time before we all carry around a national ID card complete with biometric information such that the federal government is able to track our every move. All in the name of “homeland security” or some other such bullshit. For the children.

  10. John Walters is a tool, but he has made very little difference.

  11. This is how the government treats drug research. Do a study. If the study indicates that A leads to less drug use, then the results are proclaimed from the highest mountain. Therefore, they should get more money to implement A on a larger scale. If the study indicates that A doesn’t effect drug use, then A needs more funding to be implemented more effectively. If the study is inconclusive, then more money is needed to research the effects of A on drug use.

    What a great racket. Wish I’d thought of it.

  12. “we all carry around a national ID card”

    You really think it’ll come to that? If so, I don’t know about you, but I’ll get one just so I can wrap it in a flag and burn them both.

    The government is not all that interested in protecting your civil liberties, merely their stranglehold on popular morality. So sending a 0-tolerance message to kids is important, especially in an era where 3.5 million kids are on Ritalin and 1.6 million are on Prozac and related antidepressants, prescribed by a psychiatric industry which only 40 years ago relied on inducing insulin comas to treat schizophrenia.

    So kids apparently should be saying “Only If They Say So” to drugs.

  13. Douglas Fletcher,

    Yes, first came the energy “czar” then a full blown cabinet dept. When will we get a full cabinet dept for it too?

    Any suggestions for a name? Maybe Elvis can come back to be Sec.

    Brian Hawkins

    Of course, the other approach is to appoint a commission stacked with people you know will come to the conclusions you want, then if they somehow come up with something you don’t want you deny it ever happened. It also works for porn.

  14. “Czar” — the first I remember hearing that term to describe an American official was for James Schlesinger, working for either Nixon or Ford back in the mid-1970s. They were calling him something like the “inflation czar” or “energy czar,” I tend to think it was “energy czar.” The Drug Czar came later than that.

  15. This is bullshit, all me n me mates fuckin smoke dope!


    Alchy and cigs kill millions more than all the illegal drugs put together, yet the gov say illegal drugs kill!

    U daft lil fucks, if someone wants to enjpoy themselves, harmful or not, ITS THEIR FUCKIN DECISION!

    I am in all the top sets in skool nd am not gettin kicked out cuz the bastard govs dun let uz hav a lil fun!




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