Beer and a Haircut

The aptly named Michael Puffer, an intrepid investigative reporter for the Danvers, Massachusetts, Herald, asks for a cup of beer at a local hair salon, receives the complementary beverage he requested, and returns the favor by ratting out the owner for serving liquor without a license. Then he brags about the feat in print. It makes you proud to be a journalist.

[Thanks to Doug Geiger for the link.]

Comments

[Foghorn Leghorn]

We should hunt him down and kill him. You do not accept someone's hospitality and then rat 'em out.

Hunt him down and kill him.

I?m not saying we should make jokes about hunting him down and killing him. I?m saying we should hunt him down and kill him.

[dhex]

the internet doth make movie actions heroes of all of us.

(not that a slap would be unreasonable, of course)

[dhex]

the internet doth make movie action heroes of all of us.

(not that a slap would be unreasonable, of course)

[dhex]

sigh..."action movie heroes"

[Mike McNamara]

From the article:

"Whiskers aims to be a destination for the same male clientele that favors Maxim Magazine..."

I wasn't aware that closeted gays and small-endowed guys trying to overcompensate were such a coveted market.

[Paul]

"That interview, however, spurred police to send Danvers Detective Stephen Baldassare to Whiskers for a haircut."

Bladassare in a sting at a barbershop? This sounds like Haywood Jablome territory.

[Jason Ligon]

What a self-important puke.

Local news, in my experience, ranges from the inane to the incompetent, but this is just rude.

In the greater Cincinnati area, I recall a local news outlet in the span of two weeks warning us of the dangers of automatic doors (the feature showed an 'old' man holding his head in a sliding door that closed repeatedly on his temples) and the inflammability of the strawberry toaster pastery (the feature showed a pop tart in a toaster that caught fire eventually, and the fire spread to the rest of the model house by way of the strategically placed curtains that dangled about 1" from the opening of the toaster).

I have steadfastly refused to read or watch any local news since.

[WLC]

Too bad the barbershop wasn't a front for "shadier" deals as well. See ya smartass!

[dude]

Here's the universal local news template:

You probably have XYZ in your house.
XYZ could kill your children!!!

XYZ can be toasters, skateboards, bottled water, credit cards, etc.

[Rob]

Anybody wanna bet on whether the popular kids kicked this guy's ass on a regular basis during high school?

[Brian]

Anybody wanna bet on whether the popular kids kicked this guy's ass on a regular basis during high school?

Clearly it didn't get kicked enough.

[Kevin Carson]

This ranks right up there with "Child Hero Denounces Parents as Trotskyite Saboteurs." Hunting down and killing might be a little on the severe side, but a few months convalescing in a full-body cast might teach this little prick a valuable lesson. On second thought, it would probably just feed his Woodward & Bernstein-wannabe martyr complex.

Jason Ligon,

Read? I thought it was primarily local TV news that focused on car wrecks, robberies, tornadoes, "human interest" stories, and "news you can use." I agree with your contempt for the "Channel 5 Action News Team" and it's "Super Doppler Radar," but there's quite a bit of useful info in the local newspaper press.

[Franklin Harris]

I sent Mr. Puffer the following e-mail:

RE: Your Sept. 3 story, "Hair salon faces charges for serving beer":

Speaking as a journalist, I must say that you, sir, are a rat fink.

Franklin Harris
Columnist and Online Editor
The Decatur (Ala.) Daily
http://www.decaturdaily.com

[Curt Warner]

Who is the editor who let him get away with this crap?

[Kevin Carson]

Bravo, Franklin. Below is my own email to Mr. Blower (er, Puffer). His email, btw, is [e-mail]

First off, I just want to say that what you did at Whiskers was utterly contemptible. I can certainly understand the value of operating under false pretences if you are exposing abuses of power by the government or big corporations. But a fearless crusader for justice who abuses hospitality in order to snitch on the LITTLE GUY--words fail me. What you did was turn the establishment in for practices that shouldn't be crimes in the first place and that involved only consensual transactions, and defend the monopoly profits of those who participate in the State licensing cartel. It sure is good to know that the public is being "protected" from the danger of being allowed to put what they want into their own bodies. Ranks right up there, in the annals of fearless exposes, with "Child Hero Denounces Parents as Trotskyite Saboteurs."

But, you may respond, the law is the law--if you don't like it, work within the system, but don't break it, and ad nauseam. If this is your principle, you should have a promising career insinuating yourself into others' confidences and abusing their trust.

[Nameless (in case of snitching]

Maybe the perv has roofies in them beers. Hey, small build men can fall prey to these sick predators, something the author knows all to well!

[Jefferson]

Jason,

You think Puffer's Bush League, but you may not realize who you're dealing with - he won First Place (and, presumably a blue ribbon) in the 2002 New England Press Association's 2002 Contest for Best Reporting on Religous Issues for Class 1 Weeklies.

Take that!

[Ray]

I'm still just old fashioned enough to believe that there is qualification for just punching a guy sometimes.

Not stomping and kicking and all of that crazy stuff, but just saying, "Hey you little twerp, come here" and 'pop!'

Kind of a masculine ethos that we don't see to much of any more. Standing behind your words and actions.

A duel is too much but I love the basic idea behind it. "Sully my name in public? I shall you sir at dawn, pistols or swords?"

["Chicken Ranch"]

This guy is bad, but he is an amateur compared to Houston?s Marvin Zindler. This guy helped shut down a 129 year old Texas institution, and before I had even heard about it!
?
They both ought ?a swing.

[Kevin Carson]

Chicken Ranch,

Marvin Zindler?!! Oh, Gawwwd, thanks a lot for bringing back the horrible memories. I lived in College Station in the mid-80s, and I'll never forget the sound of his braying voice delivering the trademark "MAR-vin Zindler, EEYYYYE-Witness News!" With his white suits, polyester pompadour, mirror shades, and unnatural tan, he looked like some kind of synthetic reproduction of a human being--like in "Invasion of the Space Preachers," maybe. Wasn't Kent Brockman based on him?

[Jason Ligon]

Kevin,

I actually gave up on all local media outlets. The Cin Enquirer is actually not too terrible (especially when compared with the insufferably liberal Louisville Courier Journal I grew up with), I just stopped reading it because local news is so inane.

I'm fairly certain that the Bengals are still losing. I'm also fairly certain that the goons on that side of the river who voted themselves into debt to pay for the stadium will insist that 'this year will be different'. There is a lot of crime in Over the Rhine, blah blah blah. Even race riots have become passe.

[Stich]

Wonder if I managed to troll up Puffy himself? Heh heh. I do have the knack at landing the fishes. As expected, he posted anonymously like the Cowardly Lion in Oz.

Yyng! yng! yng! You did'nt have to say it so loud! (shivers in fear at the sound of Puffanon's s voice.)

[Stich]

Actually, it appears that Pffr was not overly agitated by his fan mail. Or of course, he may have failed to perceive the sarcastic nature of the verse. You make the call:

From: "Puffer, Michael" ?|
To: "'Tim Stich'"
Subject: RE: Hello Mr. Puffer!
Date: Tue, 16 Sep 2003 14:33:08 -0400

Your welcome

[joe]

dude, Is Your Freezer Harboring a Deadly Killer?

Kevin, Is Your Vacumn Cleaner Killing Your Children?

"polyester pompadour" 😀

[Douglas Fletcher]

Somebody needs to do a reverse 'sting' on this guy and catch him with his pants down -- preferably in pursuit of some sort of illegal trade, with cameras rolling...

[Stich]

My e-mail to Mr. Puffer:

Greetings sir,

Just wanted to congratulate you on your contribution to the war on drugs, or War On Drugs if you prefer. I'm quite certain that glass of beer served to you at that hair salon could have easily ended up in a teenage girl's possession or a distraught young man's trembling grasp. That could have spawned untold mayhem. Glad you "took the bullet" and sounded the alarm. The Lord thanks you, or so I have been told that He does. This thanks should be somewhat comforting to you, for it appears that you are a somewhat friendless sort of fellow with a car-sized hole in his heart. Please fill that hole up with the love and adulation of those children you have saved from a life of alcohol abuse. They will be happy to offer it to you, especially if you still have that beer.

Sincerely,

Tim Stich
REASON reader

[Roberto Dole]

He also can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're," let alone "complementary" and "complimentary" in his article. (A mistake which is sadly repeated in the blog post.)

[wendy]

So this is what men talk about! Wow. The insight into a man's world is horrifying!

I feel much better now knowing that men, too, bitch about the small things!

Have a great day guys~ Wendy