"I expect to read any day now that the cannon blasts should be deleted from the 1812 Overture because prolonged exposure to such blasts has been linked with damaged tympanic membranes and anti-social behavior among laboratory animals. Moreover…if all orchestra parts were transposed to a single piano score, the cost-effectiveness of the piece could be greatly increased with the savings passed on to the music consumer."
--Peter Fasolino, "F.A.N.S. (Further Adventures of Nader's Sophists)"
"Persons who rely on the Supreme Court test that something is obscene only if it has no redeeming value are 'depraved, mentally-deficient, mind-warped queers,' the Utah Supreme Court said in upholding a Salt Lake City obscenity ordinance."
--Bill Birmingham, Brickbats
"Nobody…is giving a completely satisfactory factual answer to the question [of whether the Soviet Union is a threat] -- although I'm not satisfied that there's no threat emanating from the Soviet Union….I think that what we're going to have to get down to is a hypothetical question -- if there is a threat, what to do about it?"
--Earl C. Ravenal, interview