I'm Carole King, best known for my massive 1971 record, Tapestry, which sold more than 10 million copies and stayed on the charts for 6 years. My career's cooled off since then and I was even reduced to taking a bit part in the 1987 Cold War kids flick, Russkies. But I've got a great new gig: singing my hit "You've Got a Friend" to authoritarian dictators famous for persecuting artists and other counter-revolutionaries. Good old Fidel Castro was the first stop on what I'm calling my Gulag Tour. Who's next? Maybe Slobodan Milosevic. He could use a friend now, too.