Tagalong Confidential: Do Girl Scout Cookies Promote Abortion?

Here's more proof we live in a crazy, mixed-up world: Some anti-abortion groups are calling for a "cookie-cott" of Girl Scout cookies not because they are duplicitously filled with decadent and depraved trans fat but because they are part of a wicked baby-killing agenda.

In 2012, reports Politico, the Family Research Council "urged its 455,000 followers to pray that cookie sales would lag so that the Girl Scouts would break off their alleged relationship with Planned Parenthood."

This year, Pro-Life Waco and Pro-Life Wisconsin are leading the charge against Thin Mints, Thank You Berry Muches, delicous Samoas (known as Caramel deLites west of the Mississippi and north of Carcosa), and all other varieties.

From Politico:

Dubbing their effort “cookie-cott,” abortion opponents have been urging allies to refuse to purchase cookies from any girl scout this year to show their opposition to what they perceive as the Girl Scouts’ increasing support of people and advocacy groups with ties, however tendentious, to abortion.

The most recent in a long line of perceived offenses, and the one that spurred the latest cookie boycott, was the organization’s alleged endorsement of Texas state senator Wendy Davis, who last June famously filibustered the state’s new law that will close most of the abortion providers in Texas. The Girl Scouts’ Twitter account tweeted a link to a Huffington Post Live segment discussing potential candidates for woman of the year for 2013. Texas Democratic gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis was mentioned as a contender, as were singer Beyonce, Pakistani activist Malala Yousafzai and even “the brave women on social media.”

So is that box of Savannah Smiles (blech) a political statement of any sort? Not to the Girl Scouts, at least:

“To quote the Girl Scout promise, we are committed to serving God and our country and to helping others at all time,” states Ana Maria Chavez, CEO of Girl Scouts of the USA in a recent video response to the religious right’s allegations. “We do not now, nor have we ever had a relationship with Planned Parenthood. Girl Scouts of the USA believes that reproductive issues are deeply private matters best left to families. I find it unsettling that anyone would use the Girl Scout brand to have very adult conversations. A box of cookies is not a political statement. It is an investment in a girl and her dreams.”

More on Girls Scouts and odd bedfellows from Snopes.

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  • SIV||

    I'll boycott the Girl Scouts for that #banbossy campaign.

  • Acosmist||

    Why is there a campaign to encourage the proliferation of officious cunts?

    ON TOPIC: you can't spell "proliferation" without "prolife"!

  • SIV||

    I'm thinking the leanin facebook ceo lady should team up with the Beastie Boys-suing pink tinkertoy faux-engineer and launch a girl's empowerment campaign.
    Call it: "THAT'S NOT FAIR"!

  • prolefeed||

    That's a heck of an excuse to be cheap and not buy any cookies.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Ralph Reed and his Orwellian "Faith and Freedom" group approves this Cookie-Cott.

  • SIV||

  • Number 7||

    she's the boss, just not bossy

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    But is she "like a boss"?

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I'm not sure that's going to be in any corporate training videos very soon.

    Except in some of the more avant-garde companies.

  • CE||

    Funny, I just watched a celebrity Chopped where Brandi Chastain was competing for her girls' sports charity named "BAWSI".... She thought it was a good term to promote self-confidence for young women....

  • Number 7||

    well, if the Girl Scouts are going to endorse political candidates, shan't they reap what they sow? Seems fair game to boycott an organization that endorses candidates anathema to you. Probably a stretch that it is a front for a pro-choice organization but... anyway, why the fuck are the girl scouts endorsing political candidates?

  • Stormy Dragon||

    How does the indicated tweet qualify as a political endorsement?

  • AlmightyJB||

    I agree. Who's really politicizing the cookies? Sound's like it's the girl scout organization. I don't believe for a minute they don't see that. Maybe they never thought they would be called out on it. I'll still buy them 'cause I don't really care, but I'm hardly outraged that people are exercising their right to not buy a product that's funding groups and causes they disagree with.

  • AlmightyJB||

    There's a pretty easy remedy for the girl scouts if they don't want to be politicized.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    The things complained of are not overtly political.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Meh, everyone's entitled to their own opinion about what bunches up their panties.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    Sure, it just seems a bit unfortunate to have boycotts based on Seven Degrees of Separation.

  • ||

    Nothing wrong with this kinda stuff, as long as you don't try to have the government enforce 'your' side.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Front for pro-choice organizing? No.

    Front for propagandizing each and every aspect of the progressive crazy quilt, including the fucked-up economics and the particularly insane progressive take on feminism, affirmative action, and any number of other issues (including but certainly not limited to abortion)? Hells yes.

  • CE||

    Do they need a cookie table franchise to sell those things in New Jersey?

  • Rich||

    “cookie-cott"

    Now, simply lean forward into "tax-cott".

  • Dweebston||

    I'm confused why "cookie-cott" and not the seemingly obvious "girlcott". Or does that sent the wrong message?

  • CE||

    You can say that again.

  • Dweebston||

    I'm confused why "cookie-cott" and not the seemingly obvious "girlcott". Or does that sent the wrong message?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    "cookie" is slang for "pussy".

    http://www.urbandictionary.com.....erm=cookie

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "To quote the Girl Scout promise, we are committed to serving God and our country and to helping others at all times"

    Wait a minute - what about the atheists? Will nobody think of them?

    Whenever you buy a box of thin mints, you're basically saying you think there's a Sky Fairy off in the clouds somewhere.

    Sod off, you reactionary clerico-fascists!

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Atheism is a sign of maturity and independence.

    Let the Girls grow into it.

  • ||

    QED

  • CE||

    When I down a box of Samoas, I'm convinced there is a God.

  • An Innocent Man||

    At 4 bucks a pop, the cookies are a rip off.

  • AlmightyJB||

    There not even made out of real girl scouts.

  • prolefeed||

    That was a thread winner, IMO.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    It's just a quote from the Adams Family movie.

  • AlmightyJB||

    One of my favorite movie quotes ever.

  • CE||

    And stay out of the Woolworth's!

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    I read that as Tagalog Confidential at first.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    I think John needs to show up with a speech about true tolerance.

  • ||

    Why? It's not like you've ever needed an excuse to issue your follow-up speech about True Libertarianism (TM)

  • Acosmist||

    For the moment, I feel uneasy replying to the admitted racist Bo. But that will probably change when he says something egregious again.

  • Duke||

    It is a wonderful thing to use the marketplace to make your political voice heard, however silly it may be. That’s what freedom and libertarianism are all about.

    Unless it’s against abortions.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    Girl Scouts do abortions now?

    Hope they at least get a badge for that.

  • Duke||

    An article just above this one applauds patrons booting a cop from Denny’s because he killed a mentally ill man and got away with it. It cites this as a great example of the free market making its voice heard and effectuating justice outside the courts.

    Usually, Reason is all about people using the free market to make their voices and choices heard. Look how many inane pot articles are posted on a daily basis as examples of the indomitable freedom spirit at work.

    But Gillespie has had several recent articles sneering at those who oppose abortion. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If these people want to boycott the Girl Scout cookies because they perceive a political agenda, however silly their reasons may be, let ‘em do it and applaud their freedom to do so.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    I think he's sneering at this idea of boycotting someone based on this weird chain of guilt by association reasoning.

    I imagine he would feel the same about boycotting a company because they did business with a business that sponsored a NRA gun safety program.

  • ||

    I imagine he would feel the same about boycotting a company because they did business with a business that sponsored a NRA gun safety program.

    Only he's never actually written anything denouncing other boycotts over inane or frivolous causes, and frequently writes in support of them as an example of non-violent, market-based protest.

    But then you couldn't very well heave big sighs about the stupidity of the KKKULTURE WARZ!!! if you weren't balls deep in critiquing the particulars of every culture issue.

  • CE||

    Just think if they built a giant fence out of boxes of Girl Scout cookies to keep illegal immigrants out.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Girl Scouts + Bedfollows = Rape Culture.

  • CE||

    Can't they just get back to banning the word "bossy" so young girls can grow up to be bosses?

  • ||

    Gillespie, meanwhile, won't let his son join the Boy Scouts over political disagreement, but that's totally different.

  • CE||

    My dad wouldn't let me join because he didn't want me brainwashed into being a soldier for the state. He remembered the Nazi Youth brigades.

  • ||

    Hey, who among us hasn't spent a sweaty, sleepless night contemplating the horrors perpetrated by the Boy Scout Nazi Youth brigades?

    Gillespie's hang up is teh gaiz though.

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