The Men Who Shoot at Goats

Catching up on my email, I came across a wonderful little A.P. story from last month about Utah towns that are following the latest drug policy craze by banning "spice" (a.k.a. K2), dried herbs sprayed with chemicals that are supposed to produce a marijuana-like high. A few excerpts:

"I just wish we didn't have to legislate people out of stupidity," Cache County Councilman Cory Yeates said.

The Herald Journal of Logan reported that Yeates' colleagues were quick before Tuesday's vote to invoke the case of a man reportedly intoxicated on spice who fired a handgun randomly and shot a neighbor's goat four days ago.

"It's pretty sad," Council Chairman Gordon Zilles. "That's crossing the line."

Zilles added, "Better a goat than the neighbor himself."...

Taking spice has no benefits, according to Dr. Jim Davis, executive director of Utah State University's Student Health & Wellness Center.

"As a doctor, I usually look at things like medicines or even treatments in the respect of risk versus benefit," he said last month at a public hearing in Logan. "I can't find a benefit of taking spice. So I would urge the council to work by whatever means ... you can to ban the substance."

Councilman Yeates has a legitimate complaint. The people of Cache County should vote him out of office so he no longer has to legislate stupidity.

In case you want to know more about the goat shooting (and who wouldn't?), here are some details. Even if you're unmoved by the plight of our caprine compatriots, you cannot easily dismiss Dr. Davis' medical testimony that anything he sees no benefit in should be banned. A similar attitude underlies the crusades against Salvia divinorum and online gambling.

A.P., by the way, claims that K2 "is a blend of herbs and spices sprayed with the active ingredient in marijuana"—i.e., delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol—which would be totally cool if true. But since THC is already a prohibited substance under state and federal law, A.P. may have gotten that part wrong.

[Thanks to Ryan Ellis for the tip.]

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  • ||

    If they ban or make basil, oregano, or cilantro more difficult to purchase, I may turn to the black market.

  • ||

    OTOH, I can see why bloodsucking politicians might want to ban garlic.

  • Warty||

    But was the goat a fainting goat?

  • Ice Nine||

    Um, shouldn't they have been weeded out by natural selection a long time ago?

  • Warty||

    Well, obviously, this disproves evolution.

  • ||

    These goats are bred for this trait, so natural selection doesn't come into the picture.

  • Chris||

    How so? Humans are part of the goats' environment, so selective pressures applied by humans are guiding the goats' evolution.

  • Charles||

    Exactly -- hence it's referred to as "artificial selection," not "natural selection".

  • ||

    "Zilles added, "Better a goat than the neighbor himself."...

    I dunno...I never me the neighbor...and it may have been a particularly winsome goat...

  • Invisible Finger||

    "As a doctor, I usually look at things like medicines or even treatments in the respect of risk versus benefit,"

    No doctor ever did such a thing. Doctor's only look at the drug the pharma rep with the nice ass tell him to use.

  • Ice Nine||

    The rep should tell him how to talk while she's at it.

  • Anonymous||

    SPICE MUST FLOW.

  • Old Mexican||

    Utah towns that are following the latest drug policy craze by banning "spice"

    Melange?

  • The Wandering Chicken||

    Fear is the mind-killer.

  • ||

    Banning spice discourages sand-worm riding.

  • ||

    And space travel.

  • Wind Rider||

    HE WHO CONTROLS THE SPICE, CONTROLS THE COUNTY GARBAGE PICKUP SCHEDULE!

  • The Wandering Chicken||

    Muad'Dib

  • Old Mexican||

    What you call the face of the second moon.

  • ||

    That's Utah for goat-shooter.

  • ||

    There is a logical reason why goat-f**king politicians might not want people shooting goat.

  • Wind Rider||

    Which totally bewilders the sheep fucking politicians for some reason.

  • SWAT||

    Did somebody say shoot a dog???

    Oh, oh a goat. Oh, nevermind. Sorry. SORRY, everyone. Forget I brought it up. My bad.

    Wait, is anyone drinking the goat's milk without first pasteurizing it?

  • Old Mexican||

    The Herald Journal of Logan reported that Yeates' colleagues were quick before Tuesday's vote to invoke the case of a man reportedly intoxicated on spice who fired a handgun randomly and shot a neighbor's goat four days ago.

    "It's pretty sad," Council Chairman Gordon Zilles. "That's crossing the line."

    We cannot have people shooting other people's goats, so let's ban the spice.

    [C'mon - there have been even stupider justifications for banning drugs than this one, like "think about the children!"]

  • Paul||

    Goats are gettin' shot 'cause folks are on that spice.

  • Bingo||

    "As a doctor, I usually look at things like medicines or even treatments in the respect of risk versus benefit," he said last month at a public hearing in Logan. "I can't find a benefit of taking spice. So I would urge the council to work by whatever means ... you can to ban the substance."

    Fuck this guy.

  • Nanny State||

    Everyone give it up for out future Surgeon General, DR. JIM DAVIS!

    Jim, tell 'em what you plan on studying next! Empty calories? Reality television? Alcohol? The WNBA?

    Please Jim, save the rubes from themselves!

  • Ted S.||

    Jim Davis? The guy who writes Garfield?

  • aaron||

    Our lasagna is safe!

  • West Texas Boy||

    Does it not occur to these people that damaging other people's property/killing their goats is already against the law?

    What's the point of piling on except that you want to control other people's lives?

    Nevermind, dumb question.

  • Wind Rider||

    After several attempts to get Lee on the ground, deputies tried to use a Taser on him. When that was ineffective, deputies fired a bean bag round from a shotgun and were able to take him into custody.

    Hmmm. This spice shit sounds pretty awesome if it makes you taser proof!

  • Ragin Cajun||

    I hear it can also make you prescient.

  • ||

    I read that too quickly and saw the word "president".

  • This Dave||

    Or Padisha Emperor

  • Paul||

    Taking spice has no benefits, according to Dr. Jim Davis, executive director of Utah State University's Student Health & Wellness Center.

    "As a doctor, I usually look at things like medicines or even treatments in the respect of risk versus benefit," he said last month at a public hearing in Logan. "I can't find a benefit of taking spice. So I would urge the council to work by whatever means ... you can to ban the substance."

    Because what'd we learn from yesterday, kiddies? What you put in your body is the State's business.

  • BakedPenguin||

    I'd heard K2 wasn't THC, but an analog. Of course, I wonder about that as well, because Congress passed an law essentially banning analogs of illegal drugs (this was when several different analogs of MDMA were coming out).

  • Johnnybegood||

    K2, Spice, etc. aren't THC or THC analogs. They are cannabinoids developed in a lab and then mixed with various dried herbal material. The most common cannabinoid used is JWH-018, followed by JWH-073. Since no cannabinoids have been declared illegal, there's no law under which possession or consumption (even though their manufacturers indicate it's not for human consumption but aromatherapy) can be prosecuted.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Thanks for the clarification.

  • ||

    Since no cannabinoids have been declared illegal

    Except for natural THC, anyway.

    But yeah, this is a good description of what K2/Spice is all about. To me, the difference between one dedicated and aggressive artificial cannabinoid and dozens of interacting natural cannabinoids is tremendous. The JWH high has no depth, no subtlety. There is no body buzz, no ego suppression, no mood elevation. It's just a fucked-up head buzz that can be overwhelming at higher doses.

    I get why people use the stuff, but the natural herb is a million times better.

  • JC||

    "Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain" (Schiller)

  • prolefeed||

    you cannot easily dismiss Dr. Davis' medical testimony that anything he sees no benefit in should be banned.

    The next time you think Tony or MNG are trolling, reread this. People really are this stupid and statist.

  • tafurs delight||

    see now, this is exactly why pot should be legal, people wouldn't have to go around getting fucked-up on dumb shit like...whatever the hell this spice is...
    Red Rock Opium, anyone?

  • Hobie Hanson||

    "you cannot easily dismiss Dr. Davis' medical testimony that anything he sees no benefit in should be banned."

    Do you understand what a risk-benefit analysis is? He said there's no benefit *and* there is a risk. The risk is obvious after what this spice guzzler did. We can't have rule of the people if the people are always wacked out on drugs.

  • reverpsyk||

    Wow, great point! Thanks for commenting!

  • ||

    Hobie Handjob, you are so right. I've always said we ban things like sky-diving and bungee-jumping.

  • Hobie Hanson||

    So you're OK with forcing other people's livestock to skydive?

  • West Texas Boy||

    No, I'm OK with prosecuting people for harming other people's property.

    Why can't that be enough?

  • Hobie Hanson||

    Prosecution isn't going to bring that goat back. Sometimes society has to be proactive.

    If we had banned spice already, then the goat would still be alive and the guy who shot it would be a productive member of society instead of a durggie.

  • West Texas Boy||

    Sorry, I took the bait. My bad.

  • The Memory Pit||

    I'm a firm believer that the first sign of someone who's "on the dope" is an inability to spell properly or proofread their writing.
    "...durggie", Mr. Hanson? Get your stoned, patchouli stinking, hippie ass off our comments board.
    Thank you.

  • ||

    Let's ban patchouli.

  • ||

    So you're OK with forcing other people's livestock to skydive?

    Huh? It's already illegal to shoot someone's goat. Remember, you are arguing to ban people from doing things to themselves, not to other people's goats. Retard.

    Prosecution isn't going to bring that goat back. Sometimes society has to be proactive.

    It'll probably pay for a new goat.

    Outlawing a drug is not going to bring the goat back, nor is it going to prevent people from shooting goats.

    If you outlaw spice, people will just go back to weed. The only incentive for them to do spice instead of weed is that its easier to acquire since its free.

    Your arguments are mere distractions from the actual issue.

  • Wind Rider||

    With God as his witness, hobie swears he thought turkeys could fly.

  • ||

    If only it was the geriatric spice.

  • Terrence||

    Is there actually a more pretentious way of starting a sentence than, "As a doctor..."?

  • Ragin Cajun||

    As a former editor of the Harvard Law Review...

  • hmm||

    The Men Who Shoot at Goats

    It's called "goat lab" it's at Fort Sam Houston.

    (complete non sequitur)

  • Robert||

    The funny thing is that now in effect I'm in business with Gen. Bert Stubblebine.

  • hmm||

    goat lab is for medics.

  • alan||

    As a doctor, I usually look at things like medicines or even treatments in the respect of risk versus benefit . . . I can't find a benefit of taking spice. So I would urge the council to work by whatever means ... you can to ban the substance.

    It is precisely because it has no medical benefit that your status as a doctor adds no value to the legitimacy of your opinion. You seem to believe you are some kind of lord over the 'public' health. No. Someone has a physiological problem no matter whether the cause of the problem is self induced or not, you are paid to treat it. That is all. There is no political or social dimension to it other than the problems you cause by your attempt to expand the scope of your profession beyond normative (economic) human action.

  • Bruno24||

    I don't see the logic. In a parallel universe, the 'same' guy drank alcohol instead of smoking spice, and kill three goats + the neighbor.
    I think K2 might have saved the neighbor's life.
    In *this* universe I heard about a guy who killed his wife after drinking a cup of coffee.

  • ||

    Banned here where I live, Missouri. Happened a few months ago.

    Amazing how quickly the government can move when it comes to banning something...

  • Bruno24||

    Ban marijuana, you will have marijuana on the street and K2 in the shop. Ban K2, you will marijuana and K2 on the street and K3 in the shop. Ban K3, ... etc. Each time the new product might be more hazardous than the original.
    Prohibition is a tool to create a wide black market, helping the bandits to target your children.
    The war on drugs is a total success ... for the bandits and the terrorists.

  • ||

    The banned-its?

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