Is Jim Jones Still Running San Francisco? Pet Ban Being Considered...

Via Outside the Beltway comes news of the latest bizarrity coming out of San Francisco:

Sell a guinea pig, go to jail.

That’s the law under consideration by San Francisco’s Commission of Animal Control and Welfare. If the commission approves the ordinance at its meeting tonight, San Francisco could soon have what is believed to be the country’s first ban on the sale of all pets except fish.

That includes dogs, cats, hamsters, mice, rats, chinchillas, guinea pigs, birds, snakes, lizards and nearly every other critter, or, as the commission calls them, companion animals.

“People buy small animals all the time as an impulse buy, don’t know what they’re getting into, and the animals end up at the shelter and often are euthanized,” said commission Chairwoman Sally Stephens. “That’s what we’d like to stop.”

This comes on the heels of a ban on sodey-pop in City Hall vending machines and Commandante Newsom's bold attempt to grow food on road medians while cutting bagel halves into quarters. Seriously.

Hell, even former SF Housing Authority Commission member and cult killer Jim Jones let his followers have Kool-Aid.

As Eric Burdon could tell you, if you can't understand what's going on there, save up all your bread and fly Trans-Love Airlines to San Francisco, USA. Just make sure to bring your own stash of Coca-Cola, full-size bagels, and chinchillas.

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  • ||

    Hey!
    I live here and it's worse than that. I'd post the link to how bad it is, but Reason's spam filter doesn't like it.

  • ||

  • ||

    If you look up SF Weekly and search for "worst run city", you'll get an idea of why the city is dysfunctional:

    "....Despite its spending more money per capita, period, than almost any city in the nation, San Francisco has poorly managed, budget-busting capital projects, overlapping social programs no one is certain are working, and a transportation system where the only thing running ahead of schedule is the size of its deficit...."

  • ||

    “People buy small animals all the time as an impulse buy, don’t know what they’re getting into, and the animals end up at the shelter and often are euthanized,” said commission Chairwoman Sally Stephens. “That’s what we’d like to stop.”

    Translation: We've got to protect people from making poor decisions for themselves.

  • ||

    Translation: We've got to protect people from making poor decisions for themselves.

    I don't even see what the so-called "poor decision" is here.

    I read the quote and all I can reply with is : "Why?"

    These animals are raised/bred in farms/mills and are meant to be pets.

    So some wind up in shelters or get euthanized ...so what? Why is that a problem?

  • ||

    Animals should only be allowed to die in the wild via starvation or murder by larger animals. Anything else is cruel and unusual.

  • -||

    What are you talking about? All the fuzzy and cute animals live in harmony in the wild, munching on organic lettuce and taking care of each others' kids, especially the gay animals.

  • cynical||

    Q: Why?
    A: Because it is illegal to hunt hippies.

  • ||

    That's a shame!

  • ||

    The ones that get euthanized aren't really a problem. The ones that wind up loose on the streets are the problem. Especially feral dogs and chickens.

  • leavemealone||

    Don't they still Asians in SF to take of that problem?

  • ||

    What a great start for conservation of the environment!!!!
    most people are unaware that to keep theri pets, natural resources like fish form our oceans are being depleted...
    I would like to hear ONE LOGICAL reason why fish are kept out of this ruling!!!
    they are neglected as all others and left to die freequently, si it only because they have no tail to wag?
    People should learn to relate to people and not submit other creatures to unnatrual behavor and mistreatment

  • kc||

    They actually have a whole commission, not just an animal officer? Anyone have an organizational chart of SF government? Stupid laws increase exponentially with the number of people in govt "leadership" positions. Bet SF has dozens of "commissions".

  • ||

    Anyone have an organizational chart of SF government?

    We could post it here, but the size of the file would crash the internet.

  • ||

    Commission of Animal Control and Welfare

    Talk about a cushy patronage job. Sure you have the one meeting a year where the press show up to get the Commissioners' opinion about some high-profile animal cruelty case, but otherwise it's late-to-work, long liquid lunchs, a little campaign work and a comfy retirement at 15 years.

    Who do I have to blow?

  • mr simple||

    Are they elected? I was wondering why this law was made by a commission and not a city council or something.

  • ||

    mr simple|7.8.10 @ 4:51PM|#
    "Are they elected?"
    Your kidding....
    (see Coyote Blue's comment)

  • Joe M||

    Why don't they make possession illegal too? After all, surely some of the people that already own animals are going to mistreat or neglect them in some way. Best to be safe and protect all animals.

    While we're at it, better make it illegal to raise children, since they're obviously far more difficult to tend, and plenty of people have children because of an impulsive action, and don't know what they're getting into.

    In fact, we had better go ahead and seize all children too. The state can do a better job of raising them, and you can't be too careful these days.

  • DBN||

    While we're at it, better make it illegal to raise children

    There are only three or four children in San Francisco proper anyway. Almost no one with kids can afford to live there.

  • Jeffersonian||

    And unless scientists discover how to graft a uterus onto a large intestine, the prospect for more tots showing up in SF is pretty slim.

  • -||

    There are only three or four children in San Francisco proper anyway

    Advice to the remaining few: leave a trail of breadcrumbs if you visit Nancy Pelosi.

  • ||

    “That’s what we’d like to stop.”

    Spare us from Good Intentions, Flying Spaghetti Monster!

    Pretty please.

  • ||

    Something tells me Chaircushion Stephens wouldn't approve of me assassinating the gophers who have made my friends' riding arena virtually unusable.

  • hmm||

    This is clearly a civil rights issue aimed at practitioners of gerbiling or felching or whatever it's called. What's wrong with you San Fran?

  • creech||

    Heck, let's ban tourists - many of them come to San Francisco on impulse and some don't even ride the cable cars or spend money at Fisherman's Wharf or other tourist traps. Hell, they wander clueless around Union Square in their tacky shorts and t-shirts, munching crappy sourdough bread and eating at unauthentic Chinese restaurants.

  • Rich||

    No! Don't *ban* them! Obviously the solution is to require every small-animal purchaser to sign a legally-binding document mandating return of said animal -- living or dead -- to the commission, for proper transferal -- as pet or food -- to the homeless.

  • Jordan||

    The War on Pets? I'm sure it will be every bit as successful as the War on Drugs!

  • DADIODADDY||

    pets make excellant cannon fodder...ever hear of massed hamster fire or kitten mortars?

  • kinnath||

    For the nth time; how do we divorce California?

  • ||

    Divorce? Not nearly enough.

    Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

  • stoneymonster||

    Fair warning please.

  • cynical||

    That was your warning.

  • Tool||

    Fuck smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas

  • Scooby||

    If only this had been in place decades ago... Jim Jones got the seed money for his church by selling pet monkeys.

  • T||

    I'm not going to sully your statement by the indignity of fact-checking, Scoob. I am simply going to bask in the knowledge that the universe is stranger than I can imagine, and go about my day.

  • Scooby||

    A hat tip from The Jacket... I'm honored.

  • ||

    Hey, don't knock it.

    We've all heard stories about the guy cleaning his guinea pig when it accidentally goes off...

  • LarryA||

    “People buy small animals all the time as an impulse buy, don’t know what they’re getting into, and the animals end up at the shelter and often are euthanized. That’s what we’d like to stop.”

    I wish commission Chairwoman Sally Stephens would come to my house and tell the two dogs and the cat who are higher on the pecking order than I am how it's supposed to work.

  • Gilbert Martin||

    This kind of crap makes me wish that that big earthquake that drops California off into the Pacific Ocean would hurry up and get here.

  • stoneymonster||

    Yes, because none of the other states or municipalities in this fine republic are loony are nutty in any way. No sir.

  • Sudden||

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNpoJ8W53D8

    I don't know how to link on h&r for some reason. Someone wanna hyperlink my dramatic chipmunk?

  • ||

    Pubic lice are the most intimate of companion animals and their love is unconditional.

  • ||

    "But vere vill ve put our volves and coyotes?"

    Coyle & Sharpe, "PG&E Hole in the Ground"

  • Paul||

    I laboured under the misapprehension that Jim Jones was some kind of Christian cultist until my middling adult years. It was then that I found out he was a completely lefty, communist cultist with ties to Harvey Milk and George McGovern.

  • Paul||

    George McGover Walter Mondale.

    I didn't think that felt right when I wrote it.

  • ||

    Local lefties have spent just *years* pointing out that they don't ever recall even hearing the name Jim Jones:
    "Political allies such as Mayor Moscone, Assemblymen and future mayors Art Agnos and Willie Brown, and others worked behind the political scenes to protect Jones and the Peoples Temple."
    http://cassandra2004.blogspot......oples.html

  • objector||

    He was a leftist, but only his inner circle was hip to that. He used Christianity and his role as a preacher to sucker people in to his cult. He was in tight with the city government of SF because he preached a message of inclusivness across racial/ethnic boundaries, and because he was highly regarded by the public, so pandering to him was viewed as politically expedient. He was even on some sort of city commission or board himself, but I don't recall what it was.

  • objector||

    Behind the scenes, he was explicit in his endorsement of communism.

  • Hockey Guy||

    Why stop here, ban the human animals littering the sidewalks in the tourist spots also. /sarcasm/

  • Strotto||

    After actually reading this. I'm not sure it's such a bad thing. Think who this affects - the least educated people in SF - slobs who walk into pet shops and buy animals. I would rather keep pets away from them too. Sounds like this law would save a lot of money.

    Now - if they let pet stores sell animals that came from shelters, then that would be a much better idea.

  • ||

    Strotto|7.8.10 @ 7:51PM|#
    "....slobs who walk into pet shops and buy animals...."
    As opposed to slobs who post brain-dead comments on bbs?

  • objector||

    If they want to do something to protect animals they should crack down on puppy and kitten mills, not ban the sale of pets.

  • ||

    Man those San Franciscans are so smug, they like the smell of their own farts!

  • Mike Laursen||

    A few years back, I saw one beggar on Market Street with a cat, to generate an extra measure of sympathy from passersby. The cat looked kinda drugged out, like the beggar had slipped it something.

    A few weeks later all the competing beggars had cats. All looking a bit drugged out.

    A few weeks later it had escalated to the point where they all had at least three cats.

    And then they all disappeared. Some kind of proliferation treaty had been negotiated.

    Or maybe the shelters stopped giving cats out to homeless people. One thing for sure. They weren't buying the cats at pet stores.

  • Hacha Cha||

    San Francisco made Anton LaVey give his pet lion to the zoo. They have a thing against people owning animals out there, they probably consider it slavery.

  • Hacha Cha||

    pic of LaVey's daughter Zeena with Togar the lion: http://i81.photobucket.com/alb.....2006/Zeena Biography/3.jpg
    and a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf8HzGLAaXc

  • Mike Laursen||

    They have a thing against people owning animals out there...

    Well, not exactly. If they could just find the right words to codify "Yuppies may have an expensive purebreed dog to parade around as a fashion accessory and/or aid to hooking up with new sex partners. No other pet ownership is permitted." into law, they'd have exactly what they want.

  • ||

    I predict banning the sale of gerbils in San Francisco won't go over well.

  • Michael||

    Hell, even former SF Housing Authority Commission member and cult killer Jim Jones let his followers have Kool-Aid.

    Durr hurr hurr, but fucking WRONG!!! This is almost as aggravating as hearing red team/blue team mouth breathers pass it off as informed critique of their political opponents. Stop it!

  • ||

    What a great start for conservation of the environment!!!!
    most people are unaware that to keep theri pets, natural resources like fish form our oceans are being depleted...
    I would like to hear ONE LOGICAL reason why fish are kept out of this ruling!!!
    they are neglected as all others and left to die freequently, si it only because they have no tail to wag?
    People should learn to relate to people and not substitute people by submiting other creatures to unnatrual behavor and mistreatment

  • ||

    Sand is constantly irritating the lower regions of Chairwoman Sally Stephens and "That's what we'd like to stop."

  • ||

    What a stupid Headline! And on top of that, obviously, the writer doesn't get it!

  • Peter||

    I can't even believe it but whatever yahoo says

  • Suprashoesweb||

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