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Boulder Cops Smash Naked Pumpkin Run
For ten years, Boulder residents have staged a spontaneous "naked pumpkin run" on Halloween, in which dozens of runners (150 last year) don only shoes and a pumpkin on their head, then jog a four-block route through the city.
This year, however, Boulder police put an end to the revelry, stationing 40 cops and two SWAT teams along the route, which police chief Mark Beckner promising that anyone showing their, er, treats would land on the state's sex offender list.
Looks like it worked. Just a few people did the run this year, and with sufficient clothing to ward off an arrest.
(Thanks to Sean McMahon for the tip.)
Kyle Jordan|11.2.09 @ 8:59AM|#
I've noticed the he occasionally leads off a Monday morning with a story that doesn't make me with death upon mankind. At least it keeps us on our toes.
Kyle Jordan|11.2.09 @ 9:01AM|#
What my above post should say is...
"I've noticed that he occasionally leads off a Monday morning with a story that doesn't make me wish death upon mankind."
Kyle Jordan|11.2.09 @ 9:27AM|#
Balko's a practitioner of the Lars Ulrich school of journalism. It can't be heavy all the time or it loses its impact. If you put something heavy next to something that's not, the heavy one seems heavier.
As dumb and absurd as this story is, I do think it's a bit funny.
Which makes me afraid of what atrocities Radley has waiting in the wings to post about later...
|11.2.09 @ 1:47PM|#
Isn't this bad enough - that you get branded as a sex offender with all the accompanying sanctions for streaking. I think this is a perfect example of how fucked up this country is. What makes me most sad is that this took place in CO.
hmm|11.2.09 @ 11:07AM|#
He'll report 2 participants were shot, 1 dog beaten, and one guy tazed in the genitalia in an update. Just give it time.
Rich|11.2.09 @ 8:59AM|#
The Naked Pumpkin Run is not for everyone. It's hot and smelly and goopy inside ....
I'll bet even Chief Beckner enjoys that kind of environment occasionally.
Fist of Etiquette|11.2.09 @ 9:00AM|#
NUDITY = SEXUAL PERVERSION
I know all of you are sinners hidden underneath that clothing.
hmm|11.2.09 @ 11:08AM|#
Who's hiding? I prefer to work naked. Except for the slippers and cowboy hat.
Fist of Etiquette|11.2.09 @ 9:02AM|#
Also, Beckner, way to water down the impact of the Colorado sex offender list.
Atanarjuat|11.2.09 @ 9:05AM|#
police chief Mark Beckner promising that anyone showing their, er, treats would land on the state's sex offender list
Can he guarantee that or just charge them and hope it sticks? Who would have thought sex offender lists would be abused.
Balloon Maker|11.2.09 @ 9:08AM|#
So the SWAT team didn't shoot a dog, or let one of their tanks roll down a hill into a children's hospital?
John Tagliaferro|11.2.09 @ 9:21AM|#
The same way 1960's anti-war protests funded, organized and sponsored by the Soviets were "grass roots."
freta|11.2.09 @ 9:33AM|#
Seattlites figured a way around the no nudity ordinances during their Freemont nude cyclists parade. They paint most of their bodies, so technically they're not nude. Coloradorans, paint your testicles blue and unite!
|11.2.09 @ 10:52AM|#
The local government thought this would be the tipping point towards revolution. Of course, we know the real deal is going to start at Friday night's tailgater just after the big game.
|11.2.09 @ 10:53AM|#
Of course a swat team... I've seen 9mm pistol rounds richochet off a pumpkin...
|11.2.09 @ 9:45AM|#
Well, again a topic, where Europeans can only laugh about
Americans (I think even the Canadians snicker). How did the US
become the world's idiot on domestic social policy and police
terrorism from 1960 to today so fast...
And this without a shed tear or uproar at the so-called "liberal"
media?
Yeah, Americans always have been more puritan than most Europeans, but still, this is getting a bit ridiculous...
John Tagliaferro|11.2.09 @ 9:47AM|#
"How did the US become the world's idiot on domestic social policy and police terrorism from 1960 to today so fast..."
Europeans saying this is what's really funny.
Mikael Jacobson|11.2.09 @ 11:31AM|#
Depends on what europeans, the brits should probably just keep
quiet on most related subjects but there are plenty of other
European nations that are free to laugh all they want.
(I'm assuming you pulled the regular US "Britain = Europe" thing
a lot of people from the US do and trust me, the brits are barely
part of europe in the eyes of most other european nations)
T|11.2.09 @ 11:39AM|#
the brits are barely part of europe in the eyes of most other european nations
More importantly, in the Brits own eyes. The wogs begin at Calais, right?
|11.2.09 @ 9:51AM|#
sex offenders? I think the naked pumpkin runners should be punished for hate crimes as well. There is no reasons to needlessly mock those of us with heads that are actually shaped like pumpkins.
Nipplemancer|11.2.09 @ 10:14AM|#
the threat of jail is no longer a useful tool in our war against deviant behavior. we must now put you on a list that implys you are a pedophile or rapist, because your deviant behavior is just as bad.
John Tagliaferro|11.2.09 @ 10:24AM|#
There is plenty of evidence on the intertubz that women can get into wearing those too.
Art-P.O.G.|11.2.09 @ 11:15AM|#
I'm gonna start manufacturing designer penis gourds, and then show up on Hit & Run as a spammer linking to my site selling designer penis gourds.
Art-P.O.G.|11.2.09 @ 2:06PM|#
Absolutely. There's so much potential for captioning in the ad campaign.
Colonel_Angus|11.2.09 @ 10:27AM|#
We need to start a movement to invalidate the utility of the sex offender registry. Something along the lines of "I am Spartacus"...
|11.2.09 @ 10:41AM|#
Somebody needs to file a FOIA request on what the cost of rolling out two SWAT teams and 40 cops was.
Zeb|11.2.09 @ 10:45AM|#
This really bothers me. For one thing, more people should be encouraged to run around naked in public. And another thing, which I always feel a need to point out when this sort of thing comes up is that nudity is not equal to sex. Does this piece of shit police chief really think that people deserve to have their lives ruined forever for briefly running around naked?
The Gobbler|11.2.09 @ 11:21AM|#
This really bothers me. For one thing, more people should be encouraged to run around naked in public.
Have you seen the general public??? Eeeeewww
T|11.2.09 @ 11:41AM|#
I wear the same t-shirt to the RenFest every year. It says "Please Cover Your Fat". It's never inappropriate.
|11.2.09 @ 2:57PM|#
Even if nude running was ok, would it still be inappropriate or worse to have an erection? I mean, it happens to the best of us.
JB|11.2.09 @ 10:50AM|#
The next time anyone is a victim of a violent crime in Boulder they should gut that fucker of a police chief.
|11.2.09 @ 11:23AM|#
These are exactly the kind of sexual offenders I am paranoid about and want to keep them away from my daughter! They're clearly the ones who will hurt children down the line!
|11.2.09 @ 12:33PM|#
I was being sarcastic. The number of "sexual offenders" on offender lists is kind of silly.
Country <i>and</i> Western|11.2.09 @ 12:41PM|#
She said, "Hello country bumpkin,
Put your corn cob in my pumpkin."
Xeones|11.2.09 @ 11:41AM|#
For one thing, more people should be encouraged to run around naked in public.
Well, SOME people should. Others, not so much.
BakedPenguin|11.2.09 @ 11:57AM|#
I've often thought how wrong it is that if say, Adriana Lima (no nudity, but possibly NSFW) was walking around topless in public, that would be considered "indecent exposure", yet my 320 lb. fat guy neighbor with tons of back hair can mow his lawn without a shirt, and it's not a crime.
Short, fat bastard|11.2.09 @ 12:31PM|#
You should be willing to defend to the death, my right to show my manboobs in public.
Zorks|11.2.09 @ 2:17PM|#
Actually, in Boulder Adriana Lima would be able to do the same as your 320 lb fat guy neighbor. Toplessness is gender-equal in Boulder!
BakedPenguin|11.2.09 @ 11:55AM|#
SWAT teams. In case they had shotguns stashed in their pumpkins?
No, in case all of the runners brought dogs.
|11.2.09 @ 8:21PM|#
Well, you've come to the right place for unreasonable cop hatred. It's a delicacy around here.
|11.2.09 @ 10:59PM|#
FUCKIN' COPS!!!
Seriously, though, more evidence to support my theory that Boulder, much less than the supposed "hippy utopia", is actually just an enclave for upper-middle-class, conformist white liberals.
Not that I'm biased, living in Denver and all...
Me|11.4.09 @ 7:24AM|#
It is time to strike at the heart of the matter. Why does nudity (or even sexuality, although that was not here) strike such fear into some people that they are willing to use violence to destroy another person's life -- instead of simply turning their eyes to look another way?
Howard W Tate|11.4.09 @ 3:09PM|#
A similar thing happened in St. Louis a number of years back. The chief of police decided that he didn't like an activity so he shut it down. It gives new meaning to the term "police state."
There is no freedom in the US anymore.
Howard W Tate|11.4.09 @ 3:13PM|#
And as for being a registered sex-offender, in some states you can earn a place on that registry by breast feeding in public.
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