Drug Propaganda Thursday

Radley Balko | December 7, 2006

Tootie gets a bong.

Comments

|12.7.06 @ 6:06PM|#

There oughta be a law!

Tom|12.7.06 @ 6:08PM|#

"There ought to be a law..."

|12.7.06 @ 6:08PM|#

Hmm...a law against a simple tube. That sounds as stupid as impossible to enforce as a law against a common weed.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|12.7.06 @ 6:19PM|#

Mrs. Garrett should fire that thing up. She needs to relax.

|12.7.06 @ 6:23PM|#

Well, at least they got a good crack in before Mrs. Garrett got all mandatorily alarmed about it -- "I don't like to look a gift bong in the mouth." I think the utterance of the magic word "marijauna" must've broken the spell. As soon as you say it, all the sinister implications of those simple tubes come clear...

|12.7.06 @ 6:28PM|#

Are those the tubes they make the internet out of?

|12.7.06 @ 6:49PM|#

What shitty ass show was that?

Are those the tubes they make the internet out of?

It's "internets," silly. You pluralize it. Don't you respect what our Dear Leader says?

The Wine Commonsewer|12.7.06 @ 7:04PM|#

At first I thought it was a spoof.

Gonna be Trouble all right.......

|12.7.06 @ 7:15PM|#

"Diff'rent Strokes" got Nancy Reagan... all "The Facts of Life" was able to get was Charlotte Rae.

|12.7.06 @ 7:33PM|#

Now I need to know how the episode ended. Are the girls okay after their run in with the Dark Side? What became of the bongs? Are the root beer and jelly beans high? If so what kind of munchies do they get? Now I won't be able to sleep.

1 Bong Family|12.7.06 @ 7:47PM|#

I think the law she wanted was against selling them to children.

Won't somebody think of the children!

|12.7.06 @ 7:47PM|#

Hey man, we're out of papers man.

Alright, then get me a toilet paper roll, a cork screw, and some tin foil.

We don't have a cork screw.

Alright, then get me an avocado, an ice pick, and my snorkel. Trust me bro, I've made bongs with less. Hurry up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj72i4AYpoU

damaged justice|12.7.06 @ 7:51PM|#

"Tonight on X, a very special episode."

Those words guarantee an episode about drugs or child molesting. Which, in the minds of the prohibitionists, are morally equivalent.

RSDavis|12.7.06 @ 7:57PM|#

Ironically enough, Mrs Garret's character STARTED on Diff'rent Strokes. I remember this episode of The Facts of Life. The girls thought it was a vase or a candy dish or something, didn't they?

- Rick

Warren|12.7.06 @ 8:02PM|#

Q:What do you hit them with, to make them go 'bong'

A:You don't hit it, it hits you.

Nobody Important|12.7.06 @ 9:03PM|#

Eryk Boston | December 7, 2006, 6:08pm
Hmm...a law against a simple tube.

On YouTube, no less.

Fred|12.7.06 @ 9:18PM|#

I still liked the family ties where Alex was tweaking. How about diferent strokes when willis got stoned. Anyone remember a chips when somone put weed smoke in their dive tanks? I watched too much cheezy 70's and 80's TV.

|12.7.06 @ 9:24PM|#

As a child of the 80s, it is now clear to me what caused me to eschew illicit drugs for copious amounts of Johnnie Walker Black.

Scotch is my anti-drug.

|12.7.06 @ 9:28PM|#

I don't give a flying fuck how many laws get passed to deprive pot-smoking losers of their fixes. This whole country is going down the toilet. We're becoming a nation of fat, lazy, drug-crazed, Chinese-made-trinket-buying, maxed-out-credit-card, gutter-minded, diet-coke-swilling, TV-sitcom-watching bums. We need a Mussolini.

|12.7.06 @ 9:37PM|#

Given the way Benito ended up - ventilated, naked and on display - I can't imagine too many people are going to be lining up for that job.

|12.7.06 @ 9:42PM|#

I don't give a flying fuck how many laws get passed to deprive pot-smoking losers of their fixes. This whole country is going down the toilet. We're becoming a nation of fat, lazy, drug-crazed, Chinese-made-trinket-buying, maxed-out-credit-card, gutter-minded, diet-coke-swilling, TV-sitcom-watching bums. We need a Mussolini.

When did Michael Savage start reading reason?

Liberal Hyperbole Man|12.7.06 @ 9:48PM|#

EXCEPT FOR BUSH! TAKE THAT, "THE MAN"!

edna|12.7.06 @ 10:20PM|#

When did Michael Savage start reading reason?

not enough screaming uppercase to convey the expression, but otherwise a good job.

|12.7.06 @ 10:20PM|#

How could they sell this gAHbage to kids?

|12.7.06 @ 11:15PM|#

Well, it would explain how the girls gained all that weight...

Pac Man|12.8.06 @ 2:28AM|#

If I had affected children in the 1980s, they all would have been running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

|12.8.06 @ 8:03AM|#

Notice how Mrs. Garrett keeps that bong so close to her face throughout the scene? Once the girls are out of the room, she's gonna fire that bitch up.

|12.8.06 @ 8:34AM|#

The Nancy Regan cameo on Diferent Strokes is a classic, but the all time greatest episode was when Gordon Jump took pictures of Arnold and his buddy with their shirts off in the back of his bike shop.

Warren|12.8.06 @ 9:05AM|#

Oh Come On, have you guys forgotten the absolute greatest 70's sitcom drug themed episode of all time. (pardon the oxymoron)
Just two words:

"Mooshy mooshy"

|12.8.06 @ 11:17AM|#

""Mooshy mooshy""

The episode where Homer finds a detergent box from Japan at the dump?

Warren|12.8.06 @ 11:36AM|#

mediageek,
I bet you were too young to spell your own name in the 70's.

|12.8.06 @ 11:55AM|#

When I was in high school (77-81), the record store two blocks from the school had a kickass bong selection. And convenience stores stocked rolling papers near the registers.

Damn, those were the days.

|12.8.06 @ 11:58AM|#

"This whole country is going down the toilet. We're becoming a nation of fat, lazy, drug-crazed, Chinese-made-trinket-buying, maxed-out-credit-card, gutter-minded, diet-coke-swilling, TV-sitcom-watching bums."

I pay my credit card bills in full each month. So there.

|12.8.06 @ 12:17PM|#

Warren! What show was it? (It's so familiar that it's driving me crazy!)

John M. Joy|12.8.06 @ 12:36PM|#

Methinks Warren is referring to a certain episode of Barney Miller.

JMJ

Warren|12.8.06 @ 1:26PM|#

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner.

Congratulations JMJ

Honestly I thought everyone would get it immediately, at least everyone over 40.

|12.8.06 @ 1:40PM|#

Oh, yes, now I remember. Thanks!

|12.8.06 @ 2:20PM|#

That's an absolutely classic "Barney Miller." A really close second is, "My God, I've got a monkey on my foot!"

|12.8.06 @ 2:49PM|#

What do you expect from someone named "Tootie". "Look Mrs. Garret it's a small glass vial and a tiny spoon".

wingnutx|12.8.06 @ 3:06PM|#

Tootie grew up to be really hot, so all's well that ends well.

|12.8.06 @ 6:39PM|#

Hey, Tootie is in a family way:

'Facts of Life' Star Fields Expecting
Former "Facts of Life" star Kim Fields is expecting her first child with boyfriend Christopher Morgan.

The 37-year-old starred as Tootie in the popular TV series, starting on the show when she was 9 years old.

She was married to Johnathon Franklin Freeman from 1995 to 2001.

Fields and Morgan, who is a Broadway actor, are expecting their new family member in May.

|12.10.06 @ 12:40AM|#

Scotch is my anti-drug.

My anti-drug is random, unprotected sex with perfect strangers whom I meet at truck stops. Sure I got syphilis, but hey, at least it keeps me away from the weed with roots in hell.

Honestly I thought everyone would get it immediately, at least everyone over 40.

Some of us aren't, well, old.

|12.11.06 @ 10:53PM|#

I'd totally hit that!