My Olympic Mis-Education

How the 1984 baseball final forever changed my politics

My hook shot's a little rusty, and I'm few hands short of 7'6", but I felt a shudder of recognition on 08-08-08 when an overwhelmed Yao Ming struggled to express what a momentous and mixed-up feeling of pride and relief it was to watch his long-derided homeland rise above all expectations by throwing an awe-inspiring spectacle at the Olympic Games.

Back in the summer of 1984, when I turned 16, my home county of Los Angeles was widely predicted to lay a stink-bomb of an Olympiad. We were going to be humiliated on the world stage by our infamous traffic, our Beijing-like smog, and the guaranteed financial ruin of the kind that made Montreal a cripplingly indebted, cement-colored sports graveyard for the three decades after 1976. It's hard to remember now, but at the time there hadn't been a Summer Olympics that wasn't marred by war, organizational catastrophe, political murder, or the kind of black nationalism that still keeps Jonah Goldberg up at night 40 years later.

Similarly, our national lack of economic confidence back then would be unrecognizable even in today's over-heated climate of "recession." Our current unemployment rate of 5.7 percent that has Sebastian Mallaby and his ilk using adjectives like "desperate"? The U.S. during the '84 Olympics hadn't had it any better than that since Richard Nixon was president, and in fact wouldn't see anything south of 7 percent between May 1980 and July of 1986. Our terrible 2008 credit crunch? Imagine interest rates that averaged above 10 percent for a five-year stretch beginning in 1979. We look back now through rose-colored Robert Zemeckis movies, and declare the whole of the 1980s as an extended Morning in America, but anyone old enough to have read the business pages during Reagan's first term, or remember the hue of Jimmy Carter's sweater, knows that the story felt a whole helluva lot different on the ground.

Cut to the L.A. Olympics. Sure, the commies boycotted, but it was in every sense more about us that year. Not least of which was proving—to the many domestic naysayers, in addition to international anti-capitalists—that you could actually pay for an Olympics using a mix of corporate sponsorships and volunteer labor. Everyone knew someone who chipped in: My brother was a security guard for the rowers' dormitories up in Santa Barbara, another friend helped out with the archery events in Long Beach. Everything was colorful (albeit in that awful 1980s pastel way), both the traffic and the smog parted like the Red Sea, and the unironic air was filled with Randy Newman.

I was lucky enough to attend events on all but two days, crowned by the first-ever Olympic final (albeit a demonstration, not a medal, competition) in baseball, the sport that was implanted into my every double-helix by both nature and nurture. As Sports Illustrated so accurately summed up the sentiment at the time, "This is the real America's Team, and it will play America's Sport at America's Olympics." The "fuck yeah!" was implied.

Not only were we fielding what SI described as "nothing less than the finest amateur team ever assembled in this country"—including future Hall of Meriters Mark McGwire and Will "the Thrill" Clark —some of these players were guys I'd seen playing high school and college ball against my brother. It was a very short jump for a 16-year-old who saw Shane Mack play a couple of times to screaming, at the top of his lungs, "THAT'S MY BUDDY SHANE!!!" It also did nothing to quell my patriotic fervor that the would-be gold medal game at Dodger Stadium was being played against the widely acknowledged single-biggest threat to American economic well-being: Japan.

I don't recall being much of a Nipponophobe in my youth, aside from whatever flotsam gets left over in the teenage brain after devouring every World War II flick the local TV stations used to play. Then (as now, though to a much lesser extent) my ire was directed at the Russkies. But I was certainly a strong default Reaganite, ravenous for America to regain her confidence, and yeah, maybe I watched a bit of Wally George. More than any of that, I was a baseball fanatic on a patriotic bender, and OH MY GOD MY BUDDY SHANE MACK JUST HIT A HOME RUN IN THE THIRD INNING!!!

Japan, though, quickly regained the lead in the 4th inning, and by the bottom of the 8th, our boys were down a seemingly insurmountable 6-1. A frame or two before that, I and my semi-criminal friend (who went on to become an Orange County cop), disgusted by the somnolence of the home crowd, started to clap rhythmically before every pitch to our boys, no doubt screaming various obscene encouragements as well.

At first, it was just two young jackasses clapping and shouting in the cheap seats as Team U.S.A. went down quietly. But then a scattered few more in our section started joining in, then more from the nearby sections, and then the whole deck. And wouldn't you know it, the Americans began to mount a desperate comeback on the field as well. With every new runner on base, the crowd would get louder, waiting for our cue. We'd provide the first clap, and within seconds 110,000 hands would be banging alongside us. It was like conducting a thunderstorm. I have never felt more omnipotent.

Transparency requires me to report that my memory of what transpired next doesn't synch up precisely to the box score that's buried on page 299 of this massive PDF file. (As Don Baylor and a thousand ex-ballplayers have taught us, baseball memory can be a tricky thing.) For instance, I recall that final score was 5-1, not 6-3, and that the big U.S. rally was in the 8th inning, not the 9th. It's still not clear from the box score just when MY BLOOD BROTHER SHANE MACK was up with the bases loaded and two out, three-two count, with a chance to be either the tying or go-ahead run, after my buddy and I had whipped all of Chavez Ravine into a blood-curdling frenzy...but let's just say my hands were purple, my vocal chords shot, and it was one of the half-dozen most thrilling moments of my young life.

Then Shane Mack struck out looking on a curve ball.

It was as if the Goodyear blimp had deflated in one second on the centerfield grass. People were either stunned into silence, or (as in our case) muttering bitter obscenities at the world in general. Then came a horrifying sound from somewhere behind my left shoulder. It was a grown man, a grown American man, and his two kids, clapping, and saying, in perfect English, "Hoo-ray Japan!"

My eyes nearly burned clean out of my skull. The Hulk, John McCain...they had nothing on the white-hot American rage I felt at that moment. I wheeled around, fangs bared, glared at this pleasant-looking man, and yelled: "SHUT UP, YOU...COMMIE!!!!"

The genie was seconds out of the bottle when I began to feel regret. A crowd of furious Americans, who had been taking our cues for several innings now, immediately erupted into a "YEAH!!!", then began to chant: "COM-MIE!! COM-MIE!! COM-MIE!!" Dodger Dog wrappers went zipping by my ear in the general direction of the offender. Confronted with a potentially violent mob of Angeleno nationalists, the alarmed fan fled the facility, ushering his two young kids to safety.

My friend was psyched. I, in the words of Bob Dylan, "became withdrawn." Harnessing (or having the illusion of harnessing) a crowd of thousands turned out to be much more frightening than fun. Going plum loco over an exhibition baseball game felt, well, loco. And taking the side of a snarling overdog against a hapless and vastly outnumbered minority suddenly felt like the opposite of how I ever again wanted to approach either social dynamics or political thought.

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  • The Extispicator||

    Just think, had they let pros play in the exhibition game as they do today, Welch would be just another koo-aid drinking McCain hack right now.

  • ||

    I'm no Nipponophile (appreciation of Kurosawa films and some anime notwithstanding), but I find it hard not to root for the Japanese after watching Ninja Warrior on G4. On the last course, an American was the only one who made it to stage three, and the Japanese "All-Stars" were extremely supportive and it was obvious that they shared his disappointment when he didn't complete the course. Maybe they're dicks in other sports, but on Ninja Warrior, they're 100% class.

  • Cool Cal||

    I would just like to take this as an opportunity to mention that this reminded me of a fascinating if flawed 80's relic, which happened to have come on television recently. The Ron Howard/Michael Keaton 1986 comedy, Gung Ho. With the ravishing Mimi Rogers as well.

  • ||

    Up until about 13 or so i would consistently confused Nazi Germany with the USSR. I blame the mishmash of plastic soldiers I had which were a mix of WW2 and modern types.

    That and the fact that Nazi Germany and The USSR are pretty much the same thing.

  • ||

    That was a really great article. After years of George Will topped off with Ken Burns, I was convinced baseball was the sport of self-centered conceited dorks.

    I don't think I'll start watching the game. But now I won't be so quick to judge someone a gnat-brain because they're a baseball fan.

  • NoStar||

    Joshua C,
    Nazi Germany and the USSR, as evil as they were, were not anything alike. Germany oppressed people in order to secure the Fatherland. The USSR oppressed people to secure the Motherland.

    But make no mistake, just because the USA oppress people in the name of Homeland Security in no way makes our government evil like they were.

    /end ironic snark)

  • Alan Vanneman||

    You mean, the Japanese aren't commies? I'm going to have to think about this.

  • Windypundit||

    What's really scary is that some people who did what Welch did...would have loved it. I thinkn many of those people are in government these days.

  • ||

    "I was convinced baseball was the sport of self-centered conceited dorks."

    That's why so many of us are libertarians as well. :)

    My favorite memory from the 1984 Olympics were the McDonald's giveaways. Basically if the U.S. won a medal in the sport featured on your cup or box o' fries, you won more food. When the Soviet Bloc boycotted, the U.S. won medals in sports it never medaled in and McDonald's wound up giving away tons of free food.

  • Episiarch||

    We lost to the Japanese?!?!?!?

  • Cool Cal||

    Any criticism you can level against baseball is completely subjective, and similar ones can be made of any other sport. And say what you will of George Will, he's one of the more intelligent and rational columnists out there, and would certainly be in good philosophical company on these pages.

  • Warty||

    Bullshit. Baseball objectively sucks.

  • ||

    Only 6 posts to Godwin. Not a record (on this blog, the posts sometime Godwin themselves), but not bad.

  • ||

    You mean, the Japanese aren't commies? I'm going to have to think about this.

    Its hard to tell, what with that whole inscrutability thing they have going on.

  • ||

    (As Don Baylor and a thousand ex-ballplayers have taught us, baseball memory can be a tricky thing.)

    Baylor might not be the best person to refer to when it comes to something like memory.

  • ||

    Great game. I was there too, and what stuck in my mind was that the Japanese squashed an American rally by delays -- changing pitchers, letting him warm up on the mound, etc. Just like REAL American Big League teams. It was awesomely professional, and left me with the nice warm feeling that the Japanese had totally earned their victory. I still feel that way, twenty some years later.

    Don't recall that it changed my politics in the slightest....

  • ||

    Why is baseball the medium through which all life lessons are learned? If I learned anything, its that working hard wont necessarily make your dreams come true, especially if you cant hit the fucking curve ball. Maybe being fully cognizant of bitter reality is what drew me away from modern conservatism. Thanks baseball!
    Who am I kidding, I was pretty much a neocon until Ron Paul came along, who if you think about it, was pretty much the reasonable Japan fan that was being pelted with Hot dog wrappers at the debates.

  • robc||

    Warren,

    I would point out that Im a big baseball fan if it would help, except that I pretty much acknowledge that Im a self-centered conceited dork.

  • robc||

    Voros,

    You have seen the Krusty burger parody of the olympics giveaway on the Simpson's havent you?

    Krusty has them intentionally only put in events that communists are good at. Oops.

  • robc||

    Accountant: [Krusty finishes filming a commercial for his 1984 Krusty Burger Olympic Contest] Great spot, K.C!
    Krusty the Clown: Put a sock in it, Preppy! How much are these free burgers gonna cost me?
    Accountant: Not to worry, Mr. K, we rigged the cards. They're all events the Communists never lose!
    Krusty the Clown: I like, I like!
    Assistant: [handing Krusty a piece of paper] This just came over the wires, Big K!
    Krusty the Clown: [reading] Uh-huh... Soviet boycott... U.S. unopposed in most events... how does this affect our giveaway?
    Accountant: [puches up the numbers on his calculator] You personally stand to lose $44 million.
    Krusty the Clown: [cries loudly] Oy!

    ---

    Krusty the Clown: [on TV, smoking and crying] You people are pigs! I, personally, am going to spit in every fiftieth burger!
    Homer: [watching] I like those odds.

  • ||

    At first glance, calling the Japanese (or pro-Japanese) "commies" is absurd. But they do tend to have a very collectivist social disposition, and they are mercantilists with an obscene amount of interpenetration between corporations and the state.

    (Or at least that was the impression I got, last time I thought about it much. Which was probably around 1985, when the Japanese seemed scary and poised to take over the world as corporate juggernauts. Yes, I also read Neuromancer.)

    So, maybe not so absurd. Maybe less so than appending the "fascist" label to many of the people who get so tagged today.

  • will||

    Stevo,
    If we assume "fascist" to mean a massive intermingling of government and private bodies, then the Japanese (and, more relevantly, the Chinese) economic systems are definitely fascist or fascist-leaning. If you also add hardcore nationalism as a precondition, then it still works pretty well for China. Not so sure about Japan. Judging by their Japanimation movies and cartoons, it would seem that the modern Japanese ideal is the white American.

  • Susan Kitchens||

    Brings back memories. In 1984, I ushered at Santa Anita (equestrian events), dated a Fijian swimmer, went to closing ceremonies.... and I just so happened to go to a Dodger's game this past Saturday. What you say is all too vivid.

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