To Join the Illuminati, Reply to Their Official Recruitment Email

Some spam I just received:

Greetings from the Illuminati World Elite Empire.

We extend this invitation to individuals who are ambitious, talented, and determined to rise above limitations. The Illuminati offers a gateway to fame, wealth, power, influence, and both spiritual and physical protection. Whether your goals lie in business, politics, the arts, or personal empowerment, becoming a member of the Illuminati will grant you access to life-changing opportunities. Upon initiation, you will receive countless benefits, including profound knowledge, influential global connections, and an immediate cash reward of $2.5 million USD to recognize your commitment to the Brotherhood.

Please note:
This message is part of our exclusive recruitment campaign, which concludes next month. This opportunity is extended only to serious and dedicated individuals. If you are not committed to joining the Illuminati Empire, we respectfully ask that you do not respond. Our organization values loyalty above all. Are you ready to embrace the path of power and enlightenment? If so, reply directly to our official recruitment email [e-mail address omitted -EV]

I feel so honored!

Comments

[Bunny495]

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=shut+up+and+take+my+money&mid=545E1E889EA7AE31540F545E1E889EA7AE31540F&FORM=VIRE

[Mike Adamson]

You lucky duck!

[Judge Magney]

Don't feel so honored. They tried to recruit me five years ago.

[Riva]

Scientology better up its game. They've got some competition.

[Sarcastr0]

I really want some stats on who falls for that.

[Syd Henderson]

I thought Eugene was already a member.

[Vryedni]

What transparently obvious spam. Any legitimate Illuminati would know you're already a member 3x over, membership being granted automatically to every Jewish man, every Hoover Institution Fellow, and every person born on February 29.

[Bored Lawyer]

I'll only join when a Nigerian army colonel invites me.