The Volokh Conspiracy
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Always Risky to Use Haikus as Legal Argument
"All know: talk is cheap; Liars can claim anything; No evidence?! Balk!"
From In re Wizenberg, decided yesterday by the Eleventh Circuit (in a per curiam before Judges Charles Wilson, Adalberto Jordan, and Britt Grant):
Anna Wizenberg's death in 2010 sparked a long and bitter intrafamily dispute between her sons, Peter and Howard Wizenberg. What started as a probate case and then moved into bankruptcy court is now before us as an appeal of a district court order imposing sanctions under 28 U.S.C. § 1927 against Peter, a pro se debtor. The district court's order adopted the bankruptcy court's report, which recommended sanctioning him for his conduct in an adversarial proceeding filed by his brother Howard, who is a creditor in the bankruptcy case.
Peter, a member of the Florida bar who holds himself out as a bankruptcy attorney, argues that the district court abused its discretion in sanctioning him. The conduct that led to the sanctions included, among other things, his repeated "shushing" of opposing counsel during a deposition; his submission of lengthy and superfluous filings, one in which he wrote a nonsensical haiku; his argument that the bankruptcy court lacked subject-matter jurisdiction to preside over a dispute explicitly provided for in the Bankruptcy Code; and his assertion that he did not know what a privilege log was despite being a barred attorney….
[At one point in the litigation,] Peter filed a 153-page motion for reconsideration of the bankruptcy court's order denying him summary judgment, including in it accusations of domestic violence against Howard, as well as other immaterial details about family life. The filing concluded with what the bankruptcy court would later describe as "pointless poetry"—the haiku, which read: "All know: talk is cheap; Liars can claim anything; No evidence?! Balk!" The bankruptcy court denied the motion for reconsideration.
Howard deposed Peter on August 6, 2018, and Peter deposed Howard the next day. Throughout Howard's deposition, Peter engaged in several hostile exchanges with Howard and opposing counsel. Peter asked repetitive and unprofessional questions, told opposing counsel to "[s]hush, shush, shush," and bickered with opposing counsel on the record.
The next day, Howard moved the bankruptcy court to compel Peter to produce a privilege log, and said that when Peter was deposed, he testified to the existence of relevant and responsive documents that he did not produce based on attorney-client privilege. Howard said that Peter had not produced a privilege log and that he claimed not to know what one was. The bankruptcy court granted Howard's motion and ordered Peter to produce a privilege log detailing which documents and communications he thought were protected.
The Eleventh Circuit affirmed the sanctions, and concluded Peter made frivolous arguments on appeal as well:
Because Peter relied on "clearly frivolous arguments," we grant Howard's motion for appellate attorney fees. We limit the award to the costs that he incurred for this appeal, because there is a corresponding Rule 38 motion pending in the district court seeking fees for that appeal. The costs for this appeal total $3,390, and we award Howard fees in that amount.
As the father of two sons (born 1½ years apart), I can confidently say: There's no bickering like sibling bickering.
Commenters: Bonus points if your comment is in haiku form. UPDATE: The commenters are rising to the occasion; check it out.
UPDATE: David Nieporent rightly chastises me for omitting this passage from the opinion:
Peter, a self-proclaimed bankruptcy attorney, filed an 88-page opening brief littered with exclamation points and rants about what he views as a grave miscarriage of justice. He fails to coherently cite case law, though he cites Bugs Bunny. The brief is difficult to follow, and deciphering and reorganizing his arguments wasted taxpayer resources that otherwise could have been spent on cases "worthy of consideration."
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Seemingly Peter
Who is yikes! an attorney
Is not a nice guy
Haikus can be fun
But they often don't make sense
Pink salamander
I cite bug bunny
because there is no case law
to support my view.
Including such Haiku
in a dog's breakfast like that;
What was he thinking?
A privilege log?
Says he knows not what it is
He may soon find out
Pro se litigant
Claims privilege in his docs.
Hmmm...how can that be?
He talks to himself;
At once chatty and private, he is.
Doesn't like being overheard.
represents himself
has a fool for a client
the old saying goes
As I said before:
No one can hate a lawyer
Like a lawyer does.
Reverend Art wins this
Because he had much practice
Post the election
🙂
I win this and more
for, as those clinging deplore,
I've won culture war
Original thought
My mind does not entertain.
Clinger! Clinger! Clinger!
[Is that a haiku? 5-7-6???]
So call the Japanese Secret Haiku Police. They can arrest me for the crime of Extra-Syllable.
Definitely not a poet,
we see him clinging
to his pointless whines and insults.
Even when he gets the meter right,
good sense eludes him always
in his self-applauding doggerel.
Deposed and barred
Do not mean what you might think
‘Cause lawyers speak funny.
4-7-6 does not
a haiku make
Ridge, I think it does.
Deposed and barred, do
not mean what you might think. 'Cuz
lawyers speak funny.
(In other words, I don't think it's a requirement that each line contain a complete sentence.)
I claim no knowledge of Japanese poetry, but in 5th Grade, we learned that haikus had 5 syllables, then 7, then another 5. Three lines distributed that way. No requirements for meter or rhyme -- it was poetry for American morons (twisted or not).
Technically there's supposed to be a seasonal reference for true haiku.
Shut up you autumnal c***
O's reach .500?
Pitchers and catchers report
February 16th.
"Deposed and barred"; That could be 5 syllables. Remember: "Lawyers speak funny".
The rules you learned are the 'sad american version'.
A Haiku consists of 17 "on" (English has no equivalent concept, syllables frequently don't match up - the word 'on' itself contains two on) in a 5-7-5 pattern, a "kigo" (the seasonal word David alludes to - i don't think it needs to be a true seasonal reference, just a word with seasonal associations, but I'm no expert), and a "kireji" (cutting word).
Senryu are another style of poem similar to Haiku, but lacking either the kigo or the kireji. The on 'requirement' isn't actually one - both modern (jiyuritsu) and classical haiku (by recognized haiku masters) exist which don't follow the on pattern precisely.
Importantly, haiku are supposed to contrast two disparate things, and by their pairing elucidate a comparison that enlightens. The kireji is the break between these two 'thoughts'. This is the key to a proper haiku. (Most haiku by people on the internet in English fail at being proper haiku).
How sweet and pleasant
when brothers sit together
In unity.
Psalm 133 🙂
Haikus can fall flat.
Always use cartoons instead.
Page limits be damned.
https://www.abajournal.com/news/article/faced_with_a_five-page_limit_lawyer_files_cartoon_amicus_brief_with_proper_
That is certainly ballsy.
Wow! Can lawyers really do that and not piss off the judge?
This was an amicus brief, so it's not like it was being offered by an actual party to the case. Plus, he tried to file a regular brief first, before the court imposed the five page limit. And of course it's not like there would have actually been any difficulty in condensing the argument in the cartoon into five pages of text: I assume he decided the stunt was a shot at getting some extra attention.
Since the judge issued the government's proposed injunction the day after the brief was filed and rejected his arguments, the strategy doesn't appear to have been particularly successful.
Nas...I mean, I read the cartoon brief and rubbed my eyes in total disbelief. With friends like that... 🙂
Inimicus curiae?
There's no bickering
Quite like sibling bickering
It's the blues, brothers
Cute haiku in briefs
Cannot belong there — not once!
Puts client at risk.
I wouldn't try to compose a haiku -- and this case really demands a limerick -- but when the Court says "Peter, a member of the Florida bar who holds himself out as a bankruptcy attorney", you know he's in trouble.
A member of Florida bar,
In depos, he wanted to jar
his brother, “Shush, shush!”
now slapped on the tush.
The court--did it sanction too far?
George Bernard Shaw was wrong about many things, but he also said that there are two kinds of limericks: dirty and bad.
Reading bad hiaku
Really annoys me, but it's
Hard to avoid them.
Prof Volokh neglects to cite this gem from the decision:
You bury the lede. Did he cite Bugs Bunny coherently or not?
Alas, it appears he does not even appear to offer a correct quotation of Bugs. “That’s all, folks!” (actually, more accurately, “A-fuh-dee, A-fuh-dee, A-fuh-dee,... ...t-t-t-that’s all, folks!”) is usually attributed to Porky Pig. And there’s no citation....
Kindred souls unite:
Liebowitz and Wizenberg!
The fight will delight.
Here's a link to the sanctioned brief: https://tinyurl.com/yd84ntkn
He does cite a few dozen cases.