If it passes the House, clear the room.
Written and performed by Remy. Music tracks mastered by Ben Karlstrom.
LYRICS:
Hey scholars, it's squalor if we don't stock up the shelves
The dollar's hotter, buys Prada, but man I want something else
We must exceed the meager savings of the people we serve
That's why I'm pleading: We need a Strategic Fartcoin Reserve
What puts the ass in asset? The bs in blocks?
I'm talking Fartcoin baby, we gone stock up Fart Knox
The sky is the limit, yeah this chance can't be missed
What's this chart telling you? That mistaken people exist?
It's a valuable token. Whose use case is nothing, boys
Limited supply, like the 10 million other coins
Crypto-secure, it's a peak-needed asset
Who made this thing? Our founder, Yugo Nidagasex
Are you on meth? Fool, I'm on methane
Just look at this chart—it's going up like a jet plane
We need a store of value for the people, it's true
Isn't gold number one? Maybe it's time for number two.
Hey scholars, it's squalor if we don't stock up the shelves
Gold is old and it's a bore we need to rock something else
We must exceed the meager savings of the people we serve
That's why I'm pleading we need a Strategic Fartcoin Reserve
You looking for investments? This thing is a beast
Do what you can to buy it, sell one kidney at least
But what's its value intrinsically? It sounds like a vapor
It's like you ain't even read the brown paper
The market has spoken, we know just what the truth is
We got more consensus than Justin Tucker's masseuses
It's anti-establishment, we ain't just some hobbyists
It's a hedge against big government. Who said so? Our lobbyist.
Hey scholars, it's squalor if we don't stock up the shelves
Silver's fodder, buys nada, we need to hawk something else
We must exceed the meager savings of the people we serve
That's why I'm pleading we need a Strategic Fartcoin Reserve
A centralized effort with a centralized ledger
Peak decentralization… Damn, what could be better
And think of security, boy it would be crushing
If a war broke out and we lacked made-up coins that do nothing
I'm sympathetic to not printing dollars up to infinity
But isn't private money central to the causes of liberty?
What even is a Fartcoin? I can't solve this caper.
Sounds like someone didn't read the brown paper…
It's not the role of government—it is, I retort
Look, "be the bagholder of last resort"
Just because your constituents hold these tokens
Our voters own this? I like where this is going.
Hey scholars, it's squalor if we don't stock up the shelves
Oil is slippery, I'm not Diddy, so we got something else
We must exceed the meager savings of the people we serve
That's why I'm pleading we need a Strategic Fartcoin Reserve
