Remy: The First Noel (Ballot Access Parody)

Because the world needs another ballot access Christmas carol.


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Remy is creeped out by restrictive ballot access measures. Also by Prince Andrew.

Written and performed by Remy.
Produced and edited by Austin Bragg.
Music tracks and mastering by Ben Karlstrom.


The first Noel I heard early one day
As I tried to run as a new candidate
My cheeks were wetter than Prince Andrew's shirt
When the man spoke to me and he told me these words:

No "L," no "L"
No "L," no "L"
No room for me on the ballot, oh well

I looked up a party wherein
I could join but was told "There's no room at the inn"
No bed to lay and I heard "take a hike"
Like the time I bought my wife an exercise bike

No "L," no "L"
No "L," no "L"
No room for me in the parties, oh well

My wish this year is to feel content
At the ballot and not—to be frank—incensed
Must it be so hard to boot folks we don't like
But they claim it is lawful and I think that's right, but…

No "L," no "L"
No "L," no "L"
Seriously, how creepy is Prince Andrew?