4th of July

Remy: Stars and Stripes (Occupational Licensing Parody)

Free Dumb Isn't Free


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With a love of freedom and an entrepreneurial spirit, Remy takes on his biggest challenge yet: occupational licensing.

Written and Performed by Remy
Produced and Edited by Austin Bragg
Music tracks, mastering, and background vocals by Ben Karlstrom
Lemonade Stand Image Credit: Steven Depolo


Well if you ask me where I come from
Here's what I tell everyone
It's a place that is even more free
Than Jameis Winston's groceries

It's where the stars and stripes and the eagle fly

You can start the business of your dreams
If you pay all of the license fees
Where your kids can go sell lemon juice
Yeah if their license forms have been approved

Where the stars and stripes and the eagle fly

There's a lady that stands in a harbor for what we believe
Overlooking a guy getting arrested for helping sightsee

You can pull yourself from poverty
All you need's a bit of elbow grease
And twelve hundred hours of training, twenty grand
Yeah and a permission slip from Uncle Sam

Where the stars and stripes and the eagle fly
Where the stars and stripes and the eagle fly

NEXT: Social Security Is Totally Secure. Or Is It? A Debate.

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  1. That was only three examples. I was waiting for the fourth!

  2. I’d hate to think what my lady’s nails would look like if not for the certificate at the salon.

  3. Everyone expects the feds to “do something” about poverty, all the while State and Local governments put a multitudes of blocks in the way to self-sufficiency and prosperity.

  4. Remy parodied is a god way to start the the 4th of July.
    I was lucky that they did not make licensing fees for glassblowing my self.

    1. Sounds painful.

      Ha ha, just a little off-color humor, have a great 4th!

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    1. The quality of spam posts is worse than ever. This one forgot the link. I think it’s time we require occupational licenses for spam bots. Who is with me!

      1. Hear hear!

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  8. Brilliant as always! Jimmy Carter and Herbert Hoover were both registered engineers willing to rule on other people’s professions, right? Politicians know more than roofers about working construction, and are competent to grandfather in sniveling whiners as untested court interpreters while barring the youngsters with tests and fees the snivelers were not required to take or pay. Er… right?

  9. Hahaha…too funny! Also, too true, and timely, as here in Minnesota, the State License board of Cosmetology decided to slpit the existing Cosmetology license into yet ANOTHER unfounded category: “Advanced Practice Esthiology”. Cost $200.00 every 3 years, but the existing cosmologists can pay a corrupt, crooked, shady “for-profit” outside contractor’s testing corp for the privilege of studying hard on 600 dollars worth of books, schedule an unknowable exam, and fail the poorly written test at least one, due to wrongly or poorly worded answers…all while:
    –Signing into a nazi-like testing facility, getting a retinal scan, surrendering their “(-APPLE id) right index fingerprint”, Social Security number, and showing a passport, S.S. card, and state id. the proffered 2 forms of government/State Driver’s license. THATS just DATA-MINING, folks…

    Sheesh–PSIExams Testing corp. Company won this lucrative contract w/ State in order to undercut the local beauty schools for developing the tests, by undercutting the cost, and writing bad tests to cause 2 $65 dollar retakes at a 50% fail rate. State board sent us an email explaining we should study hard, and prepare for a retesting time due to 50% failure rate… Hummm… either that implies the schools are not teaching well, or their may be a problem with this testing corporation… PS. The testing corp PSIexams forced us all to sign a waiver that we would not talk about the test to anyone nor discuss the questions under penalty of LAW-SUITS. PLUS, upon inquiring if I could see what questions I got wrong on the first “Failed test…They informed me it was impossible to ever see or check on the veracity of the test grading. I absolutely do know some parts of this crooked test were poorly worded, AND I recognized several incorrect test questions where no answer would match with the state recommended study books/test prep materials, as I once was a beauty school teacher, and actually wrote these very styles of tests. If I had actually written this test, I would have been reprimanded both by the students for being unclear, and by my school administration for causing confusion on the test question unnecessarily. CORRUPTION.

  10. Great production, and lyrics to enrage. Good on ya!

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