Debates 2020

Remy: Democratic Debate (The Rap)

Remy joins the debate stage. Apparently they'll let anybody up there.


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Remy out-Democrats the Democrats.

Written and performed by Remy. Mastered by Ben Karlstrom. Video by Austin Bragg.


Free contraception!
That's right, that's my mission
Yeah I'm stopping more wangs than
Harvard admissions

They say they'd fund Planned Parenthood?
Well that's not enough
Not only would I fund it, son
I'd start a loyalty club

You think they would spend more than me?
You'll change your mind in a hurry
I'm dropping more Jacksons
Than Conrad Murray

I'm dominating this debate
Spartacus is impaired
How do I know all the answers?
Let's just say I prepared

They say they got plans
They'd do a lot for the nation
But unlike some people on this stage
I got reservations

Para el climate change-o
Cinco de Mayo

There's people locked up in cages
We gotta act fast
Not at the border, mind you
Amy Klobuchar's staff

I'll comb through the laws
See which ones are valid
Beam me to the next debate
Here, use this for your salad

I don't know half of these people
Y'all ain't go no chances
Got more write-offs on this stage
Than Bernie Sanders' taxes

Joe straight up killed busing
You know it was gory
Axed it like NBC News
On a Weinstein story

It's the economy, stupid
It's like no one is hearing me
I'd be the best thing for business since
Russia conspiracies

Reminds me of an accident
I encountered today
Not that kind of accident, Beto
Why you running away?

I got a plan to beat ISIS
Install a puppet leader who'd
lead them into insolvency
Hmm…who could we choose…

And North Korea is evil
I just honestly learned it
By checking that foolproof resource
Bernie's Travelocity searches

Guns are bad
Of that I'm the most cognizant
I'd get rid of arms so fast
You'd think you're at the Saudi consulate