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Remy: This is CNN

Remy and Remy try to make CNN great again.

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Remy is back to highlight what CNN considers news.

Written and performed by Remy. Music Mastered by Ben Karlstrom. Shot and Edited by Austin Bragg.

About 2 minutes.

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LYRICS:

Finally, what has gotten into Russia's top Olympian?
Needles, apparently.
More on that later as we yield for Breaking News.
Ed? Thank You.

Breaking news that's horribly tragic
and if your children are watching, we warn you, it's graphic
our lead story tonight atop the report
was Donald Trump eating chicken with a knife and a fork?

Plus, this Trump supporter is 11 years old
so what are his thoughts on the–are you reading the scroll?
who he thinks is best fit to lead us
and would he have voted for Obamacare he was a fetus?

Look, I really don't mean to step on your staging
but it seems like there's war and some battles are raging
reporting the news–is that not our vow?
You know what, you're right. I'll cover it now

Well the war continues (yes!) on Twitter as planned (no…)
between Donald Trump and a Littleton man
The fighting is fierce, no sight of the end
follow it all on our app–you're watching CNN

What I mean's while we're reading these trivial mysteries
people are dying, we're losing our liberties
They're inside our…wow…isn't that banned?
Inside our hardware. I understand.

They could be in your phone at this very moment
Pokemons! This town is Pokemon Go-ing
Plus, this expensive beer–how hoppy's the taste?
Fareed Zakaria is here to copy and paste.

Look, I really just think that there's stuff that we missed
Like, holy crap, is that true? Does that list exist?
Cover the news. Shake up the ranks.
Yes! Do that. I'd lost my way. Thanks.

Well it's a hidden document upon which fates swing
Fortune cookie fortunes–who's writing those things!?
Plus, a man with no parachute just took a dive
in today's most newsworthy instance of one flung from the sky

I know this is tough so forgive the belittling
Rome is engulfed and we're sitting here fiddling
executive orders, economy stuttering
these are the stories we're sitting here covering?

War in Afghanistan, hurt in Iraq
you'd need $5 foot-longs for Turkey this bad
Can we cut his mic?

Well, the war on whistleblowers continued today
we'll update the condition of that Little League referee
Plus, it took the Olympics by storm, but what is it like to cup someone?
Josh Duggar is in the studio…