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Free Minds & Free Markets

Remy: Better Now?

Post Malone meets post-apocalyptic socialism.

Promised an improved way of life, Remy does everything he can to believe in a new ideology–except the math.

Post Malone parody written and performed by Remy. Video produced by Austin Bragg. Music tracks and mastering by Ben Karlstrom.

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LYRICS
Listened to those leaders so intently
Those Che Guevara shirts all seemed so trendy
Thought that things would be so good and friendly
So why'm I eating my neighbor's dog Benji?

Twenty million killed, sure, that's stuff I don't like
But I could stay on Momma's plan for the rest of my life
A guaranteed job digging ditches? Well, what's not to like?
It's failed miserably each time so trying again seemed wise

Now I'm looting, looting, looting, looting
Grabbing wieners like I'm Kevin Spacey
Told a crowd "we need free markets instead"
Now my neck is no longer attached to my head

They promised things would all be better now, better now
If pure equality was finally found, finally found
Now we're all grocery shopping at the pound, at the pound
Said that we'd have everything
Now we don't have anything
Whoa...

How much plasma are they gonna take?
Before I finally have enough to trade?
For toilet paper or a rodent steak?
I keep on looking back on better days

They promised things would all be better now, better now
If free expression it was not allowed, not allowed
But I just caught my Roomba texting Mao
Said that we'd have everything
Now we don't have anything

They promised things would all be better now, better now
If men with guns took farmers' land and plow, land and plow
Now it's another night of Rat Kung Pao, Rat Kung Pao
Said that we'd have everything
Now we don't have anything

They promised things would all be better now, better now
If we just nationalized oil in the ground, in the ground
Now somehow gasoline can not be found, not be found
Said that we'd have everything
Now we don't have anything

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  • a ab abc abcd abcde abcdef ahf||

    Tune kinda sucks, but Remy does the best he can with it, and it's a fine parody. More than you can say for socialists!

  • Trainer||

    Twenty million? That's just Stain's Great Terror.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    He needed it to rhyme.

    100 million dead didn't rhyme.

    U.S.S.R.: 20+ million deaths; China: 65+ million deaths; Vietnam: 1+ million deaths; North Korea: 2+ million deaths; Cambodia: 2+ million deaths: Eastern Europe: 1+ million deaths; Latin America: 150,000+ deaths; Africa: 1.7+ million deaths; Afghanistan: 1.5+ million deaths; The international Communist movement and Communist parties not in power: 10,000+ deaths… The total approaches 100 million people killed.

  • mtrueman||

    You are cherry picking. World War One and the various pestilences and genocides that followed in its wake killed in the neighbourhood of 100 million. The colonization of the new world wiped out about 90 % of the native population, the rape of the congo by the king of Belgium took 10s of millions, same with the famines that plagued India etc.

  • Agammamon||

    All those were caused by capitalism, amirite?

  • mtrueman||

    WW1 was a war between countries that encouraged private ownership, so were the countries that colonized India and Belgium. You should already know this without me having to tell you.

  • TLBD||

    I agree in that war does not seem to be very dependent on any ideology that has been in practice throughout human history.

    Hopefully you can agree that at the very least, capitalism does not cause famines, and systems based on capitalism tend to murder their own people at a much, much lower rate.

  • Gracchus||

    Hopefully you can agree that at the very least, capitalism does not cause famines, and systems based on capitalism tend to murder their own people at a much, much lower rate.

    Depends on how you define "their own people." Plenty of coolies and Irish peasants died of starvation and/or disease thanks to British rule, and it is well known that the British were the "pioneers" of industrial capitalism in the 18th and 19th centuries.

  • Earth Skeptic||

    War is when the elites get their peasants to kill the peasants of other elites.

    Communism is when the elites get their peasants to kill themselves.

  • mtrueman||

    The NKVD came knocking one night. The guy within called out 'you've got the wrong apartment, the communists live upstairs.'

  • Hooha||

    How many families have Communism/Socialism improved indefinitely vs how many have they damaged irreparably (Families entrenched in insolvent, corrupt, collapsing governments don't count as improved, as that's not 'indefinite')? With this ratio, one number is very, very small and favors lines like North Korea's Kim Jeongs. The other is staggeringly large.

    How many families has Capitalism enabled people to improve indefinitely vs how many has it damaged irreparably? In this ratio, both values are incredibly large, but the 'damaged irreparably' variable is still orders of magnitude smaller than the 'improved indefinitely' one. Capitalist pursuits of advancements in medical science and indoor plumbing alone guaranteed that, to say nothing of every other aspect of modern living.

    The calculus makes the conclusion self evident; Communist/Socialist apologists are some of the most backwards, ignorant, dangerous people of our time. Rednecks have nothing on the Wannabe Reds.

  • mtrueman||

    "The calculus makes the conclusion self evident;"

    I must have missed the calculus. All I saw was hand waving.

  • Freddy the Jerk||

    Can you explain what you mean by "cherry picking" Comrade mtrueman? Did he not get those numbers right? Or did you mean he left out all the success stories where the Socialist/Communist government didn't starve such a large portion of it's serfs?

    Anyway, D+ effort. If you're needing to throw in random disasters to somehow make your preferred form of government look palatable, you should have added the Black Plague into your list.

  • mtrueman||

    "Can you explain what you mean by "cherry picking"

    Sure. Look at his list. All communist countries. No capitalist countries even though they have been perpetrators of atrocities on a similar scale.

  • Freddy the Jerk||

    Hmmm. I guess like all Communists you just expect everybody else to live in the same reality distortion field you're stuck in. So, World War I was a war between capitalists? The *King* of Belgium represents capitalism?

    You're a rat.

  • mtrueman||

    "So, World War I was a war between capitalists? "

    Yes.

    "The *King* of Belgium represents capitalism?"

    I wouldn't say represent, but the rubber he extracted was sold in markets around the world.

  • Duelles||

    So. . . Communists don't engage in world trade? You can't ever win by equating the evil of a free, capitalist culture with a repressive communist culture. You simply lose. Unless you are an angry failure in a free market environment.

  • mtrueman||

    "Communists don't engage in world trade? "

    They do. The difference between capitalists and communists is their stance on private property. Capitalists, such as King Leopold are for it, communists are against it. The discussion started with a reference to Stalin. He killed 20 million in his effort to abolish private property, and he largely succeeded. Why do you think these millions died? The Bolsheviks were happy to engage in world trade right from the beginning.

    "You can't ever win ..."

    I'm only pointing out the cherry picking. Atrocities of this scale are not unusual and not confined to communists, as I've pointed out. You want to pretend otherwise, that's your business.

  • Trainer||

    Yes, war happens. Yes, men can be scum sometimes. Yes, there are other excuses for mass murder. But, unlike most political systems, communism requires it. There is no other way to have a communist system without terrors, purges, starvation, corruption, gulags and oppression.

  • mtrueman||

    "There is no other way to have a communist system without terrors, purges, starvation, corruption, gulags and oppression."

    You didn't say war. Is that something that comes with capitalism? How many wars is capitalist America engaged in today?

  • Chipper Morning Wood||

    What's written on his face? I see the Ama-gi cuneiform and looks like TAANSTAFL, but what's on his cheeks?

  • Unicorn Abattoir||

    Supply and Demand

  • Eddy||

    Usually the first time I hear these tunes is when Remy parodies them. Is this a Sign of Aging?

  • 0x1000||

    It's a sign of halfway decent independent musical taste.

  • LiborCon||

    It means you're old enough to remember when popular music wasn't a bland, cookie-cutter commodity performed by talentless lip-syncers and written by committees.

  • Longtobefree||

    left out auto-tune - - - - -

  • Agammamon||

    Nope. It means you're now old enough to tell that pop music is a bland, cookie-cutter commodity performed by talentless lip-syncers and written by committees but not self-aware enough to realize that it was the same when you were young enough to like it.

  • Earth Skeptic||

    Meh. Pop music has always been produced for teens. Or those who still wish they were teens.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    Ditto, except for when he did ol' Tim McGraw, and Randy Newman. I was so happy to have recognized the original tunes.

  • ||

    It's a badge of honour.

    OT: The other day I heard Beyone, Rhianna and Cardi B were gonna take a *stand* against the NFL. I thought to myself thank God! I won't have to watch nauseating protest music.

    Music of today is usually soulless and the stuff they say is full of soul is just emotional vapidity.

  • Chipper Morning Wood||

    Maybe Remy's next parody will be based on a Gregorian chant, Eddie.

    Actually, that would be dope.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    Thanks dude. Funny and informative.

  • Rockabilly||

    Love the face tattoo

  • Joe Clave||

    I lived in Venezuela for a couple years, 2002-2004, back in the Chavez days. They had had a successful nationa; petition effort to call for a referendum to oust Chavez, so during the referendum vote everything was "Si" or "No" as in "yes, kick him out" and "no, keep him in". I knew several people who had signed the petition for the referendum that were subsequently fired from their jobs and blacklisted. Then the referendum didn't pass (obvs). Even in those days groceries were hit or miss, but mostly available. It is also when government food markets started popping up, undercutting normal supermarkets and grocery stores. I saw a few street riots during some local elections and knew some families that were undernourished, and most lived week to week, if not day to day. Most everyone was poor, but things still seemed to function for the most part. I can't imagine what 15 more years have done to the country.

    One other thing I want to mention, because I think it may be a misconception. Although I sure plenty of people had pet dogs, by far the most you ever saw were feral dogs in the streets (cities, suburbs, everywhere). Some roamed in packs. They all had short, mottled fur and looked sickly. My missionary companion was bit and had to get rabies shots in the stomach (once a day for like 10 days). So, as disturbing it is to imagine eating dog, imagine hunting diseased, feral dogs in back alleys rather than solemnly bringing Fido to a regretting butcher.

  • ||

    We don't see the problem. Everyone is equal no?

    /Comrade AOC and Grandpa Gulag.

  • loveconstitution1789||

    Puerto rico has the same feral dog problem.

    Latin countries just have different ideas of what "pets" are than Americans.

  • Trainer||

    Before I came to live in Ukraine, I was required to get the pre-exposure rabies shots. So far, the dogs have been pretty good but as people become more prosperous, they're able to take care of them more. Many street dogs have tags showing that they have been spayed or neutered and vaccinated. Many people own purebred dogs and like to dress them up etc. Of course, during the Holodmor, there were no dogs, cows, horses or birds for that matter. The story goes there weren't even any rodents since there was nothing left for them to eat and any that stuck around were caught and eaten by people.

  • ||

    Well done again.

    Too bad the lesson will be 'whoosh'!

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