Congress Makes Christmas Come Early

Did Uncle Santa Bring You a Gift?

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Congress Makes Christmas Come Early

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Merry cromnibus Christmas, Everybody!

The $1.1 trillion budget passed by congress sure can buy lots of gifts and presents for everyone.

Are you on Uncle Santa's list? These lucky bastards are.

Approximately 1:30 minutes.

Written by Nick Gillespie. Produced by Meredith Bragg

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Comments

[Swiss Servator, Winter kommt!]

He brought me more national debt that I and my kids will have to spend our lives servicing!

Thanks Uncle Samta Claus!

[Counterfly]

You don't have to, you know. You could always go to jail and send your kids to Cuba. Your choice, you know.

[Swiss Servator, Winter kommt!]

But..but, Social Contract!!!!

[RussianPrimeMinister]

*narrows eyes*?

[John]

Speaking of Santa, for all of their flaws, ESPN often does brilliant commercials. I saw this for the first time this morning and almost choked on my coffee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6prU6GjHO9w

[Counterfly]

They really do, they have so many great ones. And Tirico and Chucky are honestly my favorite MNF crew ever. Just the right amount of football nerdistry, enthusiasm and snark. It's almost better when the game is terrible because Gruden gets so mad.

I've quit watching Sportscenter, though. If I want soccer highlights, Nikki Minaj cameos and hours of Herm Edwards, I'll move to Russia. NFL AM is a much much better show.

[John]

I like Chucky. He is honest and doesn't pull any punches.

[Muzzle of Bees]

Yeah, but what are his thoughts on Spider 2 Y Banana?

[DK]

Yes, much funnier in this thread. I was expecting Santa to shoot Allen Iverson in the other thread.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't get it.

[zacharybaughandes]

Valerie `s posting is shocking... on saturday I bought a great new Jaguar XJ after I been earnin $6211 this last four weeks an would you believe 10k this past month . it's by-far my favourite-work I've ever done . I started this eight months/ago and immediately startad bringin home over $71... per hour .
am impresses but join this site and earn money easily.
_________________ http://www.jobsfish.com

[CatoTheElder]

Hell. Thanks to Obama's environmental policies, I didn't even get my customary lump of coal.

[John Galt]

You naughty capitalist kids can't be trusted with lumps of coal. You'll just use them to create jobs and objects of greatly increased value.

[RussianPrimeMinister]

Dunphy crushes his into diamonds with his bear* hands!

*yes, literally bear hands. He's just too awesome for normal hands.

[Agammamon]

And now, like Superman, he is responsible for the tax bill - http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Superman_Vol_1_148

When Superman saves the IRS auditor, he tells Superman that he needs to pay back his taxes. Taking him back to the IRS building, Brand calculates how much bax taxes that Superman owes and tells the Man of Steel that he needs to pay the IRS 1 billion dollars in taxes within the next 24 hours otherwise he will order the FBI to arrest Superman.

When the scorpion stings he justifies it by saying 'its my nature'.

[John Galt]

If Congress is really making "Christmas Come Early" shouldn't Sam's hand be going up and down a little lower on Santa's body?

[Drake]

Fuck no. I'm a white middle-class man who hits the AMT.

[kkj15270]

Valerie `s posting is shocking... on saturday I bought a great new Jaguar XJ after I been earnin $6211 this last four weeks an would you believe 10k this past month . it's by-far my favourite-work I've ever done . I started this eight months/ago and immediately startad bringin home over $71... per hour .
am impresses but join this site and earn money easily.
_________________ http://www.jobs700.com

[RussianPrimeMinister]

Just wait until the clutch pilot bearing goes out on that jag, and you have to go back to the dealership and buy a new one for $900+.

Jaguar sucks.

[Sevo]

Hey, with a Jag, you get Christmas cards from your service guy!

[RussianPrimeMinister]

Merry Christmas!

Give us money or we'll cut you!

Yours truly,

Ford Motor Company!

[dannihilmitee]

my buddy's half-sister makes $86 hourly on the internet . She has been unemployed for six months but last month her pay check was $15195 just working on the internet for a few hours. read.......

http://www.Jobs-spot.com

[zacharybaughandes]

Kelly `s st0rry is great, on thursday I got a top of the range Fiat Multipla from having made $5941 thiss month and-more than, 10k lass-month . it's definitly my favourite work I've ever had . I started this three months/ago and pretty much immediately started bringin home minimum $70 per hour .
hop over to here ========== http://www.jobsfish.com

[mungerkyra]

Thanks for sharing. We have a lot of depression and anxiety in our family. As a church, I think it's important to mention those things to help others know it's ok. It's helpful to go to counseling and anyone can suffer with depression sometimes. Thanks for your honesty and sharing.

Try it, you won t regret it! .... http://cort.as/Mquv

[Sevo]

It's not got much spam in it!

[Almanian!]

Spam, Spam, Spam, eggs, Spam, rat, Spam, sausage and Spam....

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Is it me, or are the spammers getting out of control?

I don't mind anon-bot and I certainly didn't mind porn-bot, but this is getting ridiculous.

[PapayaSF]

We really, really need a "Flag as spam" button. These scammers are driving me nuts.

[Paul.]

Good news... I think. Mainstream media begins to notice something's amiss:

Police around state gain military firepower; critics see danger
As law-enforcement agencies around the state make use of assault rifles, armored vehicles and a windfall of other surplus tactical equipment from the military, some fear community policing will give way to a "militarized" mindset.

http://seattletimes.com/html/l.....e1xml.html

[Irish]

Even some right-wing sites are starting to realize this is absurd.

The police departments of the two largest cities in the state, Sioux Falls and Rapid City, and the sheriffs in their surrounding counties, Minnehaha and Pennington, are listed in the Pentagon's documents as receiving only a few rifles. But the town of Mitchell (population 15,500) is listed with $733,000 worth of equipment. The sheriff of Codington County (population 27,500) with $415,400. And when we reach the South Dakota Highway Patrol, headed by Colonel Craig Price, things get wildly out of hand: $2.7 million worth of full-tracked carriers, armored trucks, grenade launchers, and other equipment. Robots, riot guns, night sights, a military helicopter: the Highway Patrol has you covered if war breaks out in the Bad Lands and the Black Hills.

Police officers have the right and the duty to protect themselves, but a disturbing message is sent by every piece of military equipment in the hands of civilian authorities. Each tank and military helicopter says we cannot police ourselves. Each grenade launcher proclaims that, even in a small town, law-enforcement is just a species of war.

[PapayaSF]

I can kinda-sorta go along with armored vehicles in major cities, but they seem absurd in small towns, and none of them need grenade launchers, for heaven's sake.

[Agammamon]

Why in the world would you need an armored vehicle in a big city in the US?

I mean aside from the fact that most of these 'tanks' are armored as well as a Brinks truck, how often, in the last 30 years, has the *total* police forces of this country needed an armored vehicle to respond to a crime?

There might be a half-dozen incidents where an armored vehicle could have been useful, but not necessary.

A guy take the staff of a McDonald's hostage - don't need an AV. Robs a bank - don't need an AV. Runs a drug house you're going to raid - don't need an AV.

[PapayaSF]

I think they might need them in the event of a terror attack.

[Agammamon]

Looking at the past history of terror attacks - again, what would an armored vehicle do?

Fly a plane into a building? Don't need an AV. Set off a dirty bomb? Don't need an AV. Shoot up a school? Don't need an AV.

AV's are for when you're going toe-to-toe with a shooting enemy - terrorists simply don't do that.

[PapayaSF]

I think they would be useful to deal with snipers or hostage situations.

[Redmanfms]

Which happen how often?

Cities get armored vehicles because of (insert ridiculously overblown threat here) and then to justify the line item on the budget use them for shit other than the reason they were purchased for.

Cops need armor? Requisition Brinks truck.

[Agammamon]

But how? You drive to the hostage situation not under any fire at all - then you park somewhere out of sight.

Same thing with the sniper.

Essentially - we've been dealing with these situations for decades and not needed AV's.

The sniper situation is the only one that has the potential to use an AV effectively, *if* the sniper is holed up somewhere the provides good all round sight and is surrounded by a large open are that can't be crossed under cover, *and* is good enough to reliably hit a moving vehicle.

Though typically the response is to surround his place with counter-snipers who blow his brains out the second he peaks out the window.

An AV is only good if you're expecting to take fire on the way to a call - its not going to do anything for you once you get there - and how often do cops get interfered with on the way to a call?

[Paul.]

I can kinda-sorta go along with armored vehicles in major cities

By that you mean a reinforced EconoLine van with a beefed up transmission? Sure.

[Irish]

Vox claims tonight will be the longest night in the history of Earth, retracts the claim almost immediately and admits they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

Correction: This article originally said that, due to the rotation of the Earth gradually slowing down over time, this winter solstice would feature the longest night ever.

I got this wrong. The Earth's rotation is gradually slowing on an extremely long timescale, but on a shorter year-to-year basis, geologic factors can alter the speed as well.

Data indicates that the rotation speed has actually sped up slightly over the past forty years, likely due to melting of ice at the poles and the resulting redistribution of the Earth's mass. So, as far as we know, the longest night in Earth's history likely occurred in 1912. I apologize for the error. Thanks to Steve Allen and Ryan Hardy for pointing it out.

This seems like the sort of thing you should have figured out while doing your fucking research.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

That's pretty bad, but the follow up on it in Rolling Stone had a lurid story of the Earth being raped by a bunch if rich planets. And they didn't even retract it when it was found the story was a concoction meant to impress Uranus.

[RussianPrimeMinister]

I was wondering if you'd show up, Bo.

Are those your sock-puppets rolling around in the "two dead cops" thread, or Tulpas'?

[PapayaSF]

Now, now, that was a funny comment.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Glad to be anticipated! I don't do sock puppets, so no to answer your question.

[Brett L]

Vox could fuck up the current forecast standing outside.

[Wasteland Wanderer]

"There appears to be white plastic falling from the sky, probably as a result of pollution by Big Plasti---just a minute, I'm being told that it's called "snow". Snow is a phenomenon that happens when a volcano erupts under a frozen lake, probably due to global warming..."

[juris imprudent]

Now I am picturing all Vox-ers as young versions of Les Nessman.

[Wasteland Wanderer]

Oh the huge manatee!

[Anonymous Coward]

You mean the website/ezine/propaganda site founded by the man who was allegedly smart enough to pimp Obamacare to the masses, but demonstrably not smart enough to tell the difference between proof beyond a reasonable doubt and preponderance of the evidence?

Hang on a second, let me go get my shocked face. I keep stored near my O face and my amused disdain face.

[Winston]

So is it time for libertarian attitude toward the Taliban to change?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2.....my_attacks

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What is the libertarian attitude toward the Taliban?

[Winston]

They hate them (though I can't speak for Rockwell or Raimondo I guess it depends on how much money the CIA gives them) but they do hate brutal and corrupt Pakistani and Afghan police and libertarians hate the cops so...

[Agammamon]

The libertarian attitude towards the Taliban is that the enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, nothing more.

[RussianPrimeMinister]

the enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy

Best. Quote. Evar.

[AlmightyJB]

My attitude towards the Taliban is fuck them. In fact, if US Snipers want to use them as target practice, I'm not losing any sleep over that.

[Winston]

http://www.thewrap.com/north-k.....ite-house/

North Korea on Sunday threatened to blow up "the White House, the Pentagon and the whole mainland" if President Obama retaliates for the Sony Pictures cyber attack.

The U.S. government "conceived and produced" the movie "The Interview" along with Sony, the government charged in a statement carried on the state-run Korean Central News Agency.

"Nothing is more serious miscalculation than guessing that just a single movie production company is the target of this counteraction," the statement said." Our target is all the citadels of the U.S. imperialists who earned the bitterest grudge of all Koreans.

Not exactly the best response to the USG dismissing North Korea's denials of being behind the hack..

[Winston]

http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/21/.....a-us-sony/

The DPRK has already launched the toughest counteraction. Nothing is more serious miscalculation than guessing that just a single movie production company is the target of this counteraction. Our target is all the citadels of the U.S. imperialists who earned the bitterest grudge of all Koreans

"Our toughest counteraction will be boldly taken against the White House, the Pentagon and the whole U.S. mainland, the cesspool of terrorism," the report said, adding that "fighters for justice" including the "Guardians of Peace" -- a group that claimed responsibility for the Sony attack -- "are sharpening bayonets not only in the U.S. mainland but in all other parts of the world."

[Winston]

Sounds like a non-denial denial or am I reading too much into this?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Sounds like a credible threat. I think we should go to war over it. What say you Winston?

[Winston]

It's obvious blustering by the Norks. I'm more interested in that they claim innocence only to make serious yet over-the-top threats, just like the hackers.

And I am interested in how they deny that they were the hackers yet they really want people to think that the hackers are a group of North Korean sympathizers with no connections to the North Korean government.

[Agammamon]

I'm sick and tired of you appeasers. The Norks *said bad things about us* and there's *credible evidence* of their conducting this attack. Or at least sponsoring it. Or maybe just sympathizing with the people who did it. Whatever. The government said so.

Obviously these people have some sort of tenuous link with Al-Queda, so the current AUMF is sufficient legal justification for the president to start a kinetic military, no-boots-on-the-ground, action against the NK regime.

I mean, fuck, if your gonna bomb the peace into a bunch of people, we could at least try it with a group that hasn't become 'bomb-resistant' through decades of exposure.

[Cdr Lytton]

Obviously these people have some sort of tenuous link with Al-Queda, so the current AUMF is sufficient legal justification for the president to start a kinetic military, no-boots-on-the-ground, action against the NK regime.

Hah! 9/11 AUMF? UN Security Council Resolution 84, pal.

North Korea said the game was back on last year:
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-21979127

[The Late P Brooks]

North Korea on Sunday threatened to blow up "the White House, the Pentagon and the whole mainland" if President Obama retaliates for the Sony Pictures cyber attack.

Show it!

Show the movie in every fucking theater in the country, as retaliation for the hack.

[AlmightyJB]

I think they should show on network tv Christmas Eve. No worse than the shit that's usually on.

[PapayaSF]

I've been trying to think of a good retaliation beyond that, and I'm kind of at a loss. An actual act of war is tempting (e.g. the "mysterious loss" of a Nork submarine), but that's going too far. I don't think we can just ignore this, but all options seem too little or too much.

By the way, the forming conspiratorial narrative, often supported by progs, is that the Norks had nothing to do with the hack.

[Winston]

By the way, the forming conspiratorial narrative, often supported by progs, is that the Norks had nothing to do with the hack.

And Alex Jones.

Admittedly I'm not sure but North Korea's constant hints that this is the work of sympathizers is pretty fishy not to mention the group's name. As a distraction it is pretty dubious since you want the Feds to pay less attention, not more, on you. Doesn't look like a false flag since, unless this leads to an actual War with North Korea, it is pretty embarrassing to the US.

[Rebel Scum]

North Korea on Sunday threatened to blow up "the White House...

The proper US response would be Obo telling Un to "put up or shut up" as he dispatches B-2's to buzz Pyongyang. But I fear president teleprompter lacks the character to do so.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just release it and make a shitload of money on it. I'll go see it.

[userve32]

Sounds like one heck of a plan to me dude. Wow.

http://www.AnonBay.tk

[Winston]

So which Reasonoid went out to Afghanistan to join the Taliban?

http://www.theguardian.com/wor.....checkpoint

[Winston]

The IRA know how to deal with Cop Fellators:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.....mas_Oliver

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Volokh Conspirator Suggests Response to North Korea, and it Involves No Government

"We can do something about it. Between them, the people who have denounced the cancellation can easily raise enough money to purchase the rights to the movie from Sony and then distribute it online for free. Given the publicity this issue has received, and the additional publicity it will get if the type of effort I propose is seriously undertaken, far more people are likely to see the movie than if movie theaters had shown it as originally planned. Since many different people would be involved in the effort, North Korea and its hackers could not scuttle it by targeting any one person or firm. By this means, North Korea's thuggish tactics would not only be defeated, but actually rendered counterproductive. That might make a repeat less likely."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....rth-korea/

[PapayaSF]

OT: A Parade of Human Stupidity

[SusanM]

And these people vote.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Are you sure they're 100% serious?

[PapayaSF]

Not entirely. The Pluto guy is so far out, I wonder if he isn't a clever troll.

[Suddenly Quincy]

Similar thoughts about the pizza guy. I could imagine Mitch Hedberg delivering that joke.

[Sidd Finch v2.01]

just literally LOL'd at the pizza

[SIV]

I'm no fan of the Border Patrol(to put it mildly) but I gotta give kudos to the Officer(s) who repelled an attempted armed incursion from Canuckistan.

[Wasteland Wanderer]

According to the CBC, the police in Windsor were first called to a McDonald's restaurant parking lot, where the man brandished his gun and said "Why haven't you shot me yet" ? before getting in his car and fleeing toward the bridge.

So he was basically attempting to commit suicide, couldn't get the Mounties to play ball, and decided to head for the border instead.

America: Your One Stop Shop for Suicide-by-Cop!

[Gene]

Mounties

Local cops or the OPP.

[l0b0t]

"Well, the Ontario Provincial Police don't think much of Bud."

http://youtu.be/HtySGSuKZe8

[SIV]

The President should declare a national day of Support for Police.

Fuck tha police

It would be kinda nice to get a word in edgewise in the resultant "national conversation".

[SIV]

Argentina Court Recognizes Orangutang as a Person

[Winston]

That's mean to Cristina Kirchner.

[mikeangellogy]

$6370 , I didnt believe that my brother was realy earning money in there spare time at their computer. . there moms best frend had bean doing this for less than seventeen months and by now repayed the loans on their cottage and got a brand new Porsche 911 .
navigate to this site ==----==---- http://www.jobsfish.com

[khairyayman]

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