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Buying a Hammer? The U.K. Worries That Might Make You a Terrorist

Also suspicious: Recording police behavior.

The United Kingdom's counter-terrorism policing unit would like you to let them know if you see somebody doing something suspicious. Like buying a hammer.

No, that's it. Buying a hammer is suspicious and is potentially an indicator of criminal activity. That's literally the point of the ad below. Here's a tweet that's getting the U.K. Counter Terrorism Policing office some good mocking on Twitter:

It's hard to see in the Twitter ad, but the guy buying the hammer also has several knives in his basket. That's apparently supposed to be a context clue that he's maybe a very bad person. The U.K. has a borderline-comical campaign going on trying to convince young people not to carry knives around. He might be a chef doing some work on his restaurant, maybe? But the point of this ad campaign is that they actually don't want you to think of the most likely explanation. They want you to be suspicious of everyday activities with the scary "Life Has No Rewind Button" motto.

The full commercial actually has a bit more sinister tone, and I'm not talking about potential terrorists here. I'm talking about what the U.K counter-terror office wants you to find suspicious. Watch below:

Did you notice that third example? It's a guy recording U.K. police officers on his phone as they go about their business. This advertisement wants you to be suspicious of people who record the police.

They try to blow off the idea that people are going to end up reporting innocent activity with the statement "Reporting suspicious activity won't ruin lives, but it might save them." Do they really think there's no consequences to being investigated as a potential terrorist? Law enforcement in the United Kingdom goes after and prosecutes people for the content of their tweets, for heaven's sake. These investigations would most likely upend the lives of their subjects. This ad isn't just mockable, it's horrifying. For the love of God, do not go through life being suspicious of common daily occurrences. And be very wary of a law enforcement organization that tells you to treat people who record the behavior of law enforcement as potential threats.

Photo Credit: Counter Terrorism Policing U.K.

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  • Mickey Rat||

    When are they just going to officially rename that island Airstrip One?

  • Chipper Morning Wood||

    That name is reserved for the first lady's loins.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Would

  • a ab abc abcd abcde abcdef ahf||

    Britain. Different first lady. Probably wears a powdered wig.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    Also happens to be man.

  • Inigo Montoya||

    Yes, it's Teresa's husband Mr. May.

    OMG, Brian May?! The guitarist from Queen?

  • RabbitHead||

    It's called a merkin

  • MatthewSlyfield||

    In the UK since they have a Queen with a male consort rather than a King, in the UK, Airstrip one would be the Queen.

    Now, try to get that image out of your head wanker.

  • ozzy||

    This will work for getting that image out of your brain.

    http://unsavoryagents.com/?projects=evil-hillary

    I have no clue what could possibly get Sabo's image out of your head.

  • Chipper Morning Wood||

    They say that if you carry around a hammer, you are always looking to nail something.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The saying is, "When you're a hammer, everything looks like an infidel."

  • spork||

    +1

  • Last of the Shitlords||

    No, no, the article title is misspelled. Specifically 'being' spelled as 'buying', and 'Muslim' spelled as 'hammer'.

  • Aloysious||

    What if I buy a hammer and a sickle?

  • Chipper Morning Wood||

    You might be a druid?

  • MatthewSlyfield||

    If you dance in the woods wearing a robe...

    If you sleep wearing a goat mask...

    You might be a druid. :)

  • Last of the Shitlords||

    What level Druid?

  • Earth Skeptic||

    And what if you have an old sofa on the front porch of your stone circle?

  • Last of the Shitlords||

    "What if I buy a hammer and a sickle?"

    Then you're probably from a democrat from America.

  • JonFrum||

    Please note: this is from a Tory government. As a famous man once said, 'Not a dime's (read: 'pence') worth of difference."

  • a ab abc abcd abcde abcdef ahf||

    I thought they'd hit peak anti-self-defense hysteria with the anti-stabbing knives.

    I realized my mistake when they sent the farmer to prison for defending himself in his own home.

    And now I see I've repeated my mistake.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    The prosecution twisted that something fierce into the farmer having set some kind of trap for the home invaders and got him on whatever the garbage island version of murder 1 is IIRC.

  • AlmightyJB||

    They should just cut everyone's hands off.

  • Dillinger||

    knives already banned.

  • Careless||

    Not chopping knives. Yet

  • Dillinger||

    makes even more sense.

  • MatthewSlyfield||

    Have they banned axes?

  • Last of the Shitlords||

    What about pointed sticks? Or even fresh fruit?

  • Earth Skeptic||

    Just Nerf everything.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    The UK is getting so paranoid. Next, the government there will publish a video saying that some unmedicated schizophrenic was plotting to sabotage their Euroviosion entrant when he passed out postcards at Heathrow Airport.

    And I still insist that I had nothing to do with the president of Interpol disappearing in 2018.

  • Ron||

    Have they found the president of Interpol yet or is the news burying that story since it looks bad for everyone involved

  • Nardz||

    Chinese prison.
    Treason or corruption, according to Xi's people

  • a ab abc abcd abcde abcdef ahf||

    Potato peelers!

    Pizza cutters next? Nail clippers? Sharp nails for lack of nail clippers?!?

  • Greg F||

    To really make those commercials effective they should of made the suspicious looking guy a red head.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    They created the new anti-hammer policy after someone reported this threatening terrorist YouTube video.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    I prefer Leonard Nimoy's version.

  • Last of the Shitlords||

    The Mighty Thor disapproves..

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    And how about this:

    Another exampleof Garbage Island police literally policing someone's thoughts.

    Henry Miller, a docker from Humberside in northern England, was subjected to 34 minutes of questioning by police in order to 'check [his] thinking' on trans issues...
    Helpfully, the police officer gave the official view that we should all adopt if we want to stay on the right side of the law. According to his training, 'sometimes, a woman's brain grows a man's body in the womb and that is what transgender is'.

    Holy crap, that's ridiculously creepy.

  • Longtobefree||

    Damn GMO technology - - - - - -

  • MatthewSlyfield||

    No kidding, where are the catgirls?

  • lap83||

    Do I have this right? Male and female brains are identical except sometimes males actually have female brains, even though there is no difference.

  • MatthewSlyfield||

    There's no difference in the gross anatomy of the brains between genetically male and genetically female brains. However, we know next to nothing about how the brain functions, particularly in terms of cognition.

  • soldiermedic76||

    Actually there is differences between genetic male brains and female brains. The differences are subtle but they do exist.

  • MatthewSlyfield||

    Sometimes, if a mother is carrying fraternal twins (even with opposite genders involved), one embryo / fetus will absorb the other. Both can continue to grow, the bodies merging so you get a human chimera, with one set of DNA in some parts of the body and the other set of DNA in other parts of the body. You can get on person shedding cells with two different DNA strands.

    So, the "woman's brain grows a man's body in the womb" is at least theoretically possible, even if it's exceedingly unlikely.

    While there is no solid data on how common human chimeras are, I kind of doubt that it's common enough to account for a significant number of of transsexuals.

    My personal belief is that human sexual is a synthesis of genetics*, hormones (particularly either early or during puberty), and upbringing/experience.

    But then, how many kids are raised by a trans parent? It can't be all that many.

  • Fats of Fury||

    The answer should be transparent.

  • Last of the Shitlords||

    So is that what happened to Tony? Is he the twin that was shit out later?

  • Ben of Houston||

    The issue is that many people who would have even very recently accepted their roles as "non-stereotypical males/females" have decided instead that they wish to transition to the other gender completely.

    I find it very odd that in years' past, we were taught that the only time that gender mattered was in marriage and bathrooms. Outside of that, it didn't matter who you were, but what you could do. Now, with all the identity politics, it seems that marriage and bathrooms are the only time that what's between your legs doesn't matter.

  • GroundTruth||

    Guns, knives, hammers....

    but what about pencils! and crayons! or air!

    in the land of John Locke!

  • Earth Skeptic||

    And rocks! The fucking ground is full of rocks!

  • Rich||

    How about reporting that guy at 0:37 of the full video? He looks *right at* the officers, and not only is he wearing a hat but he's carrying a bag!

  • Kratoklastes||

    If he was a Brazilian electrician, that would get him seven rounds to the back of his head... and nobody would be held accountable.

  • Telcontar the Wandchipper||

    "I would like to report a threatening tweet."

  • Rich||

    "I would like to report someone threatening to report a threatening tweet."

  • Telcontar the Wandchipper||

    "Oh, I see. Well, don't fret, we'll get a constable right on that."

  • Kratoklastes||

    Reporting a threatening tweet is the pinnacle of patriotism; only threatening to fulfil that duty so is pretty suspect - it seems to indicate that the serf thinks he has the discretion to choose not to report it.

    That's exactly the same as being paedophile Muslim Hitler mouth-raping a sex doll who looks like Her Maj, with the North Korean national anthem playing in the background.

    (Are we still doing Two Minutes Hate on North Korea? Or is it Venezuela nowadays?)

  • Trifrozion||

    You wouldn't steal a handbag.
    You wouldn't steal a car.
    You wouldn't steal a baby.
    You wouldn't shoot a policeman, and then steal his helmet.
    You wouldn't go to the toilet in his helmet, and then mail it to the policeman's grieving widow.
    Video piracy is stealing.

  • Kratoklastes||

    As de Quincey pointed out: once you commit a murder, it's but a few short steps to incivility.


    *For if once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Once begin [sic] upon this downward path, you never know where you are to stop. Many a man has dated his ruin from some murder or other that perhaps he thought little of at the time."

    "A Second Paper on Murder Considered as One of the Fine Arts" (1839)

  • Unicorn Abattoir||

    If you have a hammer, and you hammer in the morning, and hammer in the evening, all over this land, are you a terrorist?

  • Telcontar the Wandchipper||

    Does a bear Catholic?

  • MatthewSlyfield||

    What the Fuck???

    Confuseus says...

  • Conchfritters||

    Man who fart in church sit in his own pew?

  • Telcontar the Wandchipper||

    I feel like you two are really lowering the quality of discourse in this comment section.

  • Eddy||

    They'd have to try *much* harder.

  • Telcontar the Wandchipper||

    -reports to CTP-

  • newshutz||

    Is it a silver hammer? And is your name Maxwell?

  • AlmightyJB||

    I hope no one gets smothered with a pillow.

  • Rich||

    Indeed. And why does anyone *need* a pillow, anyway?

  • Unicorn Abattoir||

    It's the Spanish Inquisition skit all over again.

  • Jgalt1975||

    I'm pretty sure Jean Charles de Menezes would dispute that "[r]eporting suspicious activity won't ruin lives," except that since his head was blown off by UK police, he can't say anything these days: https://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Death_of_Jean_Charles_de_Menezes

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    Pinned down and murdered execution style by Großbritanien Staatssicherheit thugs who then lied about it and hid behind the badge?

  • Kratoklastes||

    Seven shots to the back of his head.

    He was running at one stage, though: that's pretty suspicious. Who needs to run near, or in, a train station?

  • georgeliberte||

    The only thing the can stop a bad guy with a hammer, is a good guy with a hammer- Thor!

  • Last of the Shitlords||

    Verily!

  • Telcontar the Wandchipper||

    "Now, 'old on just a tick, there, guv. You got a permit for that?"

  • Conchfritters||

    Shithole country. No wonder so many of those limeys move to the US.

  • Eddy||

    Please, hammer, don't hurt us!

  • Rockabilly||

    Why, If I Had A Hammer !!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxWTDcP9Y5E

  • LiborCon||

    My S&W revolver has a hammer, so do my Rugers. Does that make them dangerous?

    My Glocks don't have hammers, does that make them safe?

  • Still Curmudgeoned (Nunya)||

    I would say that normally you could deduce that someone buying a hammer has no nefarious deeds in mind, but using Occam's Razor might get you put in jail.

  • ||

    "If I had a hammer
    I'd hammer in the morning
    I'd hammer in the evening
    All over this land
    I'd hammer out danger
    I'd hammer out a warning
    I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters
    All over this land
    If I had a bell
    I'd ring it in the morning
    I'd ring it in the evening
    All over this land
    I'd ring out danger
    I'd ring out a warning
    I'd ring out love between my brothers and my sisters
    All over this land
    If I had a song
    I'd sing it in the morning
    I'd sing it in the evening
    All over this land
    I'd sing out danger
    I'd sing out a warning
    I'd sing out love between my brothers and my sisters
    All over this land
    Well I've got a hammer
    And I've got a bell
    And I've got a song to sing
    All over this land
    It's the hammer of justice
    It's the bell of freedom
    It's the song about love between my brothers and my sisters
    All over this land"

    Banned in the UK. For illegal use of a hammer and hate speech.

  • Rockabilly||

  • billdeserthills||

    This is more proof that a percentage of the population are murderers. Brits took away the guns, yet the killers keep killing. When is Britain going to ban sticks & stones & then be disappointed because criminals will still find ways to kill. Meanwhile it's the poor citizens who will suffer, as they have no way to defend themselves from experienced criminals

  • Inigo Montoya||

    This is what some people don't understand. If someone really wants to kill someone else, there will always be a way. Barehanded or with weapons as simple as a rock, or a bag, or even a piece of string.

    Common sense says that's a good reason to always accept that there is an inherent human right to self-defence.

  • GroundTruth||

    "This is what some people don't understand"

    Actually, this is what some people willfully misunderstand.

    We need to start calling BS on this crap, whether it be about disarming people, or confiscatory taxes, or state takeover of healthcare, etc. etc... The issue is never that they don't understand, but that will not understand.

  • Kratoklastes||

    The issue is never that they don't understand, but that will not understand.

    It's not even that: they understand just fine, but admitting it would get in the way of their grift.

    1 in 6 employed people works for government (and that's not counting military, which is another ~1% of the workforce). 1 in ~20 is unemployed.

    So ~1 in 5 individuals (16% + 5% + 1%) receives every cent that they obtain, from other people's taxes. So a slightly modified version of Upton Sinclair's aphorism applies -

    It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his [income] depends on his not understanding it.
  • Jerry B.||

    What about hands and feet? Here in the well armed, Wild West USA, way more folks are murdered with hands and feet than with deadly assault weapons.

  • Quo Usque Tandem||

    I'm sure they will get to that; mandatory mittens and padded foot covers when you are out and about.

  • Quo Usque Tandem||

    GB is steadily moving toward some definite ends; one is of course 1984 [they will need that level of control and oversight to manage all of the restrictions] and the other is a virtual open air psychiatric ward; you will only be able to possess those items that would be permitted in the cabin of an air liner.

    If you keeps just one person safe....

  • loki||

    This is about as dumb as a bag of...

  • Chipper Jonze||

    If someone had only called the police, then Joan the pataphysical scientist, some teacher, and some judge would still be alive today.

    Oh wait--they did. P.C. 31 was on the case!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJag19WoAe0

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