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GOP Rep. Barton Says Sorry for Nude Selfie, Virginia House Leader Wants Gender-Neutral Titles, LAPD Overwhelmed by Sex Cases: P.M. Links

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) apologizes to his constituents for nude selfie.

    He was in the pool!

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Damn, ENB late with links? I hope she's okay.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Bucs how do you move around in all that shining armor? :P

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    I'm naked under the armor and incredibly greased up.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    One wonders how you grasp your sword with that much grease.

  • Jimbo||

    I LOVE grease when grasping my "sword".

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    I use a special braiding technique to avoid loose hairs running wild.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Are you licensed to perform such complex braids? Careful this is a government patrolled forum.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Yes, I make sure all of my illegal child squires are properly licensed for all tasks they perform.

  • Entropy Drehmaschine Void||

    Bucs how do you move around in all that shining armor? :P

    Practice by dodging scimitars launched by moistened bints ...

  • Anomalous||

    ENB late? I hope that child is a masculine child.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Facebook will let users find out if they interacted with sketchy Russian content.

    With a hand "dumbass liked" icon.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) apologizes to his constituents for nude selfie.

    I saw them. No need to apologize a'tall.

  • Rich||

    So, "it's twue!"?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...he wants the legislature to do away with the titles "gentleman" or "gentlewoman" in favor of "delegate," which is more "timely and appropriate."

    Since none of them are gentle and they all like to pawn their duties to subordinates.

  • Rich||

    "The chair recognizes the delegate from the shitty county of Farquhar."

  • Rat on a train||

    It's pronounced Fucker County.

  • Eidde||

    At least the delegate wasn't from Norfolk.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    British police are looking into a second sexual assault claim against actor Kevin Spacey.

    It's all cocked up at his point.

  • Rich||

    Facebook will let users find out if they interacted with sketchy Russian content.

    Pretty sure they already know about the viruses they picked up from the dating sites.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) apologizes to his constituents for nude selfie.

    Apologize for God's design?

  • Arizona_Guy||

    So I got in my car this afternoon. My Sirius Radio cut out for a few seconds as I drove under some power lines.

    THANKS AJIT PAI!

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    Facebook will let users find out if they interacted with sketchy Russian content.

    Mark Zuckerberg masturbates furiously over his new role as Social Networking Chat Director of The World. Angela Merkel awaits at a sumptuous dinner.

  • Bearded Spock||

    Sorry, but you seriously need to re-write this. I read is as "Mark Zuckerberg masturbates furiously over....Angela Merkel"

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    I read is as "Mark Zuckerberg masturbates furiously over....Angela Merkel"

    Yes

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Facebook will let users find out if they interacted with sketchy Russian content.

    Uh.. this better be accompanied with some safe spaces otherwise the afflicted will be left with no recourse other than self-consuming PTSD and eventual suicide.

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    Republican Rep. Kirk Cox, leader of the Virginia House of Delegates, said he wants the legislature to do away with the titles "gentleman" or "gentlewoman" in favor of "delegate," which is more "timely and appropriate."

    Why not 'bitches'?

  • Rich||

    Why not "gentledelegate"?

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    British police are looking into a second sexual assault claim against actor Kevin Spacey.

    Good lord... that's like 70 accusations back on the pile. I'm looking at my stack, it's got coffee stains on it (among other stains)... I want fresh news. Hell, Nick Carter (recently outed as straight) is already like two hours old.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    The unsinkable indefatigable Roy Moore?

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Obviously Alabama is not fond of the Democratic ticket.

  • Anomalous||

    Alabama rejected Mo Brooks for Mo Lester.

  • Eidde||

    Amusing...but many voters don't want to vote Dem as a protest against sex abuse - I can't understand it.

  • lap83||

    "While separated from my second wife, prior to the divorce, I had sexual relationships with other mature adult women," Barton, 68, said in a statement first reported by the Texas Tribune. "Each was consensual..."

    I know I'm supposed to be outraged because he's a Republican, but I can't help but be impressed that he found willing recipients of his nude selfies

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • Eidde||

    How mature, Congressman?

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Eddie, it looked like a leather button on a grey sweater.

  • Eidde||

    If you mean what I think you mean, thank you for sparing me the effort of looking up that picture, not that I would have anyway.

    Once you reach the insight that Congress members *are* dicks, even the women, then looking at their actual dicks becomes superfluous.

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    I appreciate that he specifies he had sex with adult women.

  • MarkLastname||

    And consensual too. He may well be the most upstanding person in Congress.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Republican Rep. Kirk Cox, leader of the Virginia House of Delegates, said he wants the legislature to do away with the titles "gentleman" or "gentlewoman" in favor of "delegate," which is more "timely and appropriate."

    Lady Doctor is still kosher, right?

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    NO THAT WAS NEVER OKAY. The preferred term is Doctoress.

  • Anomalous||

    Doctrix?

  • Unicorn Abattoir||

    Lady Doctor, by Graham parker and the Rumour:

    https://youtu.be/UbSh9AcCEn0

  • Rich||

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    This makes me sad all over. A Christmas catastrophe will come sooner or later.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    It's tragic that everyone has already forgotten the events of Nakatomi Tower, 1988.

    We said we'd never forget. What liars we humans are...

  • Rat on a train||

    The Manhattan bombings of 1995 overshadowed that event.

  • Rich||

    Upon a midnight clear? 8-(

  • Telcontar the Wanderer||

    If "sooner" means "last year when a truck rammed a Christmas market in Berlin and killed 12", then the former is, indeed, true.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    I expect a Christmas day attack and something a bit more close to home.

  • Rat on a train||

    Red Sleigh Down!

  • Telcontar the Wanderer||

    So demanding! Careful with your tone young man, or Santa ISIS might not bring you anything this Christmas...

  • Rich||

    "While separated from my second wife, prior to the divorce, I had sexual relationships with other mature adult women," Barton, 68, said

    "Barton Sued For Adultery"

  • creech||

    Meanwhile, it looks like Cong. Rohrabacher (R-CA) is an actual commie agent (according to establishment types who can't stand his sometimes libertarian streak.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    I really do appreciate the irony of many leftward venues going whole hog into red-baiting recently.

  • Rat on a train||

    Easily debunked. Charlie don't surf.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Fine, but he is a Nazi. And we all know that Surf Nazis Must Die.

  • Rat on a train||

    Are they skeet surfing?

  • Bearded Spock||

    I apologize if I am insufficiently Woke on this subject, but wouldn't the woman* who leaked his pic on the interwebz be guilty of "revenge porn"? Or does that only apply to men?

    *assuming, of course, he sent it to a woman

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Obviously he leaked him himself to show off. WAKE UP SHEEPEL

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Yeah, it's revenge porn. He might be able to press charges.

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    Sexual assault roundup, post lunch siesta edition.

    For those who don't want to click through, it's the sailor kissing the woman in Times Square on the announcement of the Japanese Surrender.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    I'm offended that they say no one ever mentions it. I've seen articles about that kiss many times over the years. You're not that fucking unique Independent.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    News? They should call it olds. Am I right?

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    God bless you Fist.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Ugh.... an immortalized moment of pure elation reduced to base patriarchy. Man, ugh, I'm drowning today.

  • Rich||

    Whew! I thought maybe it would be all the "FUCK" graffiti.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Holden Caulfield hit hardest.

  • Rich||

    +1

  • lap83||

    The lady from the photo died last year and AFAIK never called it an assault.
    http://www.latimes.com/local/o.....story.html
    "It wasn't that much of a kiss," Friedman said in an interview with the Veterans History Project in 2005. "It was just somebody celebrating. It wasn't a romantic event."

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    They discovered (found) the Sailor who was in that picture in like the 1980s. He was 'unknown' until then.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Feel good modern hippie music that only a monster could hate

    *passes the blunt*

    I'm thankful for y'all, enjoy your holidays. Peace favor your sword.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Always get them mixed up with the Magnetic Fields.

    But since you brought up The Sword

  • Unicorn Abattoir||

    Was never into their studio albums, but saw them live a few years back and was completely blown away.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    It's just too chill for me.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    So many babes go to their concerts though.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    I'm a metal and punk and experimental music guy. I'm a piece of shit and women don't like me anyway.

    Though, I did just discover this chiller group called Brown Bird that I really like a lot.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    I tend to be into highly abrasive stuff. I have my classic standards like Judas Priest and Death (Maybe my two favorite bands). Lately, I've been going back and listening to Sigh and Suffocation. Plus, there is this new band called Xoth I like a lot, which is like 1950s Sci-Fi sounding metal.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Though I like a lot of music, as long as it tends towards heavy instrumentation. Country I've been slowly trying to get into since I fell in love with Hank Williams. Not exactly heavy instrumentation, but I don't aim for consistency when it comes to my likes.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    since I fell in love with Hank Williams

    The Lost Highway gives me the feelz. Drunkenly wailed that song many a time.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Yeah, he's great. I remember one of his talking song where he has this little poem about his mom. Made me cry.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Yeah, check out Symbolic and Human if you haven't. Those two and Scream Bloody Gore are considered the most definitive Death by most people. Though SBG is traditional Death Metal.

    As for Maiden, I just can't get into them. They have a few songs I like, but I think they blend together way too much for me. While I listen to Sad Wings of Destiny end to end probably once a week.

  • Telcontar the Wanderer||

    "Facebook will let users find out if they interacted with sketchy Russian content."

    "I'm sorry... I'm afraid it's terminal."

  • Trigger Warning||

    House of Tards.

  • Incomprehensible Bitching||

    This one time, I had sex... with a woman.

    I'm sorry!

  • Crusty Juggler||

    I want u soo bad.
    Right now. Deep and
    hard.

    Also, is anyone else disappointed we can't see the whole hog? Censorship is for the birds.

  • Crusty Juggler||

  • Crusty Juggler||

    The 50 Best Superhero Movies Of All Time

    Tim Burton's Batman is criminally underrated, mostly because millennial fanbois are stupid and have stupid taste. Also, Watchmen should be ranked much higher.

    Fucking nerds.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    This list should be aborted and the person who made it set on fire. Some how X3, possibly one of the worst movies of any genre ever ranks #35 and it says this:

    In the worst film of the original X-Men trilogy, directed by the odious Brett Ratner, an omega-level Jean Grey poses an existential threat to the world. The suckiness of this movie is like a black hole that not even an atom of goodness can escape.

    What is the The Last Stand's most iconic moment? Cyclops, the leader of the X-Men, is killed offscreen in the first 30 minutes of the film. It is the audience's first clue that this film will be well and truly bewilderingly shitty.

    The 15 movies above this must have been the Chinese knockoffs.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    God, their Iron Man 3 rule is horrible. They say it showed that the third movie will always be better than the second. Then cite Captain America. Winter Soldier is much better than Civil War.

    What a weird list.

  • Telcontar the Wanderer||

    Iron Man 3 is the worst MCU movie I've seen. The villain is terrible, the Mandarin is terrible, the Extremis thing is stupidly done, Don Cheadle is reduced to a token black friend, Paltrow is terrible, the plot is terrible... Ugh. The only thing that works in that movie is Robert Downey Jr. ruthlessly mocking a small child for 20 minutes, and while that does make the movie worth seeing, it does not make it good.

    At least IM2 had some great libertarian one-liners. "I have successfully privatized world peace!"

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    Christ, who cares. Who could care enough to get beyond a list of five or ten superhero movies?

  • MarkLastname||

    I already know that list is impossible, since Christopher Nolan only made 3 superhero movies, and even then only 2 were any good.

  • Texasmotiv||

    This is quite possibly the wrongest list ever compiled.

  • Rat on a train||

    State attorneys general bash plan to hike national park fees
    In related news, a group of state transportation secretaries signed a joint statement criticizing proposed changes to the Army Service Uniform.
    The AGs say the increase is inconsistent with the laws governing the park system because the administration did not provide an economic analysis to support its claims that raising fees would increase revenue ... But the AGs say the increase actually could reduce the number of visitors and revenue.
    So democrats finally believe in Voodoo Economics?

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Our greatest President, Teddy Roosevelt, would shed a tear if he knew the government was trying to keep poors out of our national parks.

  • Eidde||

    Greatest President? Who was Chester Arthur, chopped liver?

  • Eidde||

    They say that somewhere in a hidden chamber beneath Capitol Hill, President Arthur sleeps, and will awaken at the time of the country's greatest need, or when he gets hungry.

  • Rat on a train||

    That explains all the missing congressional pages.

  • Eidde||

    Sir, he was a gourmand, not a cannibal.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    You mugs probably didn't cover this: Lena Dunham is accused of 'hipster racism' by writer of actress' weekly feminist newsletter Lenny Letter

    She said Dunham and the women in her circle - whom she referred to as 'wealthy, with parents who are influential in the art world' - were notorious at the time for 'their well-known racism'.

    'I'd call their strain 'hipster racism', which typically uses sarcasm as a cover, and in the end, it looks a lot like gaslighting--"It's just a joke. Why are you overreacting?" Clemmons wrote.

    She claimed that one woman in the group was 'known to use the N word in conversation in order to be provocative, and if she was ever called on it, she would say "It's just a joke". I was often in the same room with her, but I never spoke to her, only watched her from far in anxiety and horror.'

    Clemmons is not only a hero, she is pretty damn sexy, too.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    I totally covered this. I just didn't add the gore pic.

  • Eidde||

    So a hipster racist was racist before racism was cool?

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    There was an article on this yesterday I believe.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    I want u soo bad.
    Right now. Deep and
    hard.

  • Entropy Drehmaschine Void||

    Entropy Drehmaschine Void|11.20.17 @ 7:11PM|#|–|filternamelinkcustom

    'Hipster racism' comes to the forefront after Lena Dunham controversy

    reply to this report spam

    Covered TWO days ago, sir.

  • Entropy Drehmaschine Void||

  • Crusty Juggler||

    *Lights the Eddie signal**

    How to Talk to Your Family About Planned Parenthood This Holiday

    *The Eddie signal is a picture of Kim Davis looking sad.

  • Eidde||

    If I want to comment, I will do so on this subthread I started.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Peter Thiel may be looking to buy Gawker

    Electing Donald Trump, buying Gawker, curing herpes - the man knows how to troll.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    'I have sex with a doll four times a week and I'm saving for a sex robot - but my wife doesn't mind'

    "When I take April out it's usually to a hamburger place where we can stop and get a bite to eat, a lot of people don't even notice she is not a breathing person.

    "We usually have sex two to three sometimes four nights a week routinely. It's amazingly like having sex with a real woman, the biggest difference is whatever position you want them in you have to put them in, as they will not get there on their own.

    "Doggy style is not a problem because their backs flex, you put it in whatever position you want.
    "Every guy knows what it is like to slap a woman on the butt and this is not unlike the real thing.

    "The sexual aspect of doll ownership is a very small part of it, what you find more pleasure from in the long run is looking after them, dressing them, putting on their make up and interacting with them. I feel deeply for her, more deeply than I had ever imagined.

    Your reign of terror is over, ladies.

  • Eidde||

  • Eidde||

    Eww, this guy makes jacking off look perverted.

  • Pubic Pizza||

    The thing about sex dolls is that you can't do full scat or piss play with them. Sure, you can shit and pee on their artificial flesh, but this can't be vice-versa. Until this is remedied, I'll stick to slathering myself with my own bodily fluids while jacking it to my imaginary wife.
    Anybody else feel this?

  • lap83||

    Don't say I didn't warn you after the sex robot uprising occurs

  • Eidde||

    I saw Total Recall, it was raining all the time.

  • Eidde||

    No, Blade Runner, why did I say Total Recall, because I was doing the opposite of totally recalling?

  • Aloysious||

    Mixing up Blade Runner and Total Recall?

    Heinous, dude.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    People who reply all are worse than hearing naked Charlie Rose's balls slap against his inner thigh while he confidently strolls in front of your unwilling eyes.

  • Eidde||

    I won't ask how you're in a position to make a comparative evaluation of the two situations.

  • Bra Ket||

    "The unsinkable Roy Moore?"

    I'm impressed by how much narrative the LA Times packed into a single story there. Now I remember why I haven't read that paper in decades.

    I especially like how they delve into the political and policy implications Alabamans cite as concerns (SCOTUS & lower judge appointments etc.) as well as the overall majority of the senate and hence which party will be deciding on the laws for the next two years. Then dismiss it all as "tribalism". Cause I guess elections should be about choosing the guy with the cleanest record, not anything related to governing.

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