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White House Maybe Plotting Against Jeff Flake, DHS Allows More Foreign Workers, Jeff Sessions Promises More Asset Forfeiture: P.M. Links

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Photo Credit: Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call/Newscom

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Chinese censors really don't like Winnie the Pooh.

    It doesn't translate well.

  • Unicorn Abattoir||

    Plus Rabbit runs an illegal farm that hasn't been collectivized.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    And Piglet questioned state ownership of the means of production.

  • ||

    Hello.

    Sessions is a dick.

    Good-bye.

  • CE||

    Maybe it would be okay, if he started wearing pants.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he's going to be issuing a directive this week increasing the use of civil asset forfeiture, even as states attempt to rein in the heavily abused police practice.

    Sessions loves this country too much to let the Constitution bring it down.

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Is it the initiation rite or just dorm room hazing?

  • Juice||

    Is that why he has that sideways zipper?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Will the White House support a primary challenger to Republican Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake?

    Is Trump tweeting in your favor a help or hindrance?

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Due to Sen. John McCain's (R-Arizona) emergency medical treatment, nobody seems to truly know what's going to happen with the Senate this week and proposed health care overhaul legislation

    I'ma guess inaction and deadlock.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    The official word says he is getting surgery, but we all know he is helping to plan the southward invasion of the North.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    How do you invade the north by going southward? They going to go all the way around and attack from Canada?

  • Woodchippin' 4 Jesus||

    Mike Lee and Jerry Moran just said no.

    So - McCain is irrelevant

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    A federal appeals court panel has ruled that the gag orders that come with the FBI's National Security Letters (NSLs) demanding internet companies secretly provide data about users are not unconstitutional violations of the First Amendment.

    Because, as always, the Constitution isn't a suicide pact.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Today the Department of Homeland Security announced it would allow an additional 15,000 visas for low-wage foreign seasonal workers.

    Someone's been unhappy with the price of produce.

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    5 Stars, 218 reviews. O.o

    (I'd be down for side ordering each of us one of the Harambe candles)

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    They also have one for Lou Reed, so we could send one joke gift and one sincere gift.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    And Samantha Bee to mourn the death of satire and good taste.

  • Scarecrow Repair & Chippering||

    Tall white altar/ prayer candle

    Racist!

  • gaoxiaen||

    No Charles Manson?

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    In a speech before prosecutors, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he's going to be issuing a directive this week increasing the use of civil asset forfeiture

    Holy shit. Jeff Sessions is the Energizer Bunny of Evil. He needs to fall down some stairs.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    A federal appeals court in Florida has ruled that the state attorney for the Miami-Dade County area illegally attempted to prosecute a man for recording interactions with Homestead police.

    But they'll allow it anyway?

  • Maven Houlihan||

    I'm pretty sure the government puts you in jail for doing "illegal" stuff.... right?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "You" being the operative word.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    A federal appeals court panel has ruled that the gag orders that come with the FBI's National Security Letters (NSLs) demanding internet companies secretly provide data about users are not unconstitutional violations of the First Amendment.

    "Tell me you love it, bitch."

  • Ken Shultz||

    "Today the Department of Homeland Security announced it would allow an additional 15,000 visas for low-wage foreign seasonal workers."

    My understanding is that this represents a 50% increase from last year.

    I know the Trump administration increasing the level of legal immigration is extremely controversial with . . .

    Come to think of it, I don't think increasing the level of legal immigration for agriculture is controversial with anybody.

  • Juice||

    Good thing central planners know how many immigrant workers are needed for each sector of the economy and each job so they know how many people they may permit to try to earn a living. People would never be able to figure it our on their own.

  • Homple||

    DHS has no objection to them earning a living in their own country.

  • Ken Shultz||

    I'd rather anybody who wants to come across the border and work be free to do so--so long as we can verify they aren't a convicted felon, aren't wanted for a crime, have been vaccinated against certain diseases, etc.

    That being said, allowing 15,000 more people to come across the border legally is a good thing.

    I should say, too, that I'm not fond of central planning, but making rules for who we let reside within our country is an enumerated power of congress--like the power to declare war and the power to tax.

    Does thinking that the federal government shouldn't be able to tax me without authorization from congress mean that I support central planning? I don't think so. Just like thinking that deciding who can come across our borders and reside here is a proper power of congress doesn't mean I support central planning either.

    I can be against a war that congress declares and still think that the decision of whether to go to war properly belongs to congress, and just because I think congress should allow far more people in from Mexico, that doesn't mean I have to think congress shouldn't have the authority to decide who can reside here.

  • Woodchippin' 4 Jesus||

    I pay illegals to carry the END THE WELFARE STATE signs.

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

    'Dunkirk' Is the Movie Christopher Nolan Was Born to Make

    I assume few people will go see this, because everyone is a garbage person who only watches movies if they have superheros or The Rock, but your boy Crusty is supes exicted.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Been a long time since I saw a war movie in theaters. Nolan has never really let me down.

  • Rhywun||

    He's got a pretty good resume even without the superhero movies I'll never watch.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Wait, are you talking about the Dark Knight trilogy? Cause those are some first rate Batman movies.

  • HeteroPatriarch||

    Two of those are first-rate movies, period.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    I guess we know where you fall on the Nolan chart.

  • CE||

    Best retreat since Chief Joseph.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Due to Sen. John McCain's (R-Arizona) emergency medical treatment, nobody seems to truly know what's going to happen with the Senate this week and proposed health care overhaul legislation.

    If McCain was the linchpin of that effort...

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    You misspelled "lich king."

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Russian officials say they will not accept any conditions from the United States for the return of two diplomatic compounds in New York and Maryland that were seized last year over espionage concerns.

    Shouldn't Putin just be sending clear instructions to Trump as to what to do?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Russian officials say they will not accept any conditions from the United States for the return of two diplomatic compounds in New York and Maryland that were seized last year over espionage concerns.

    And Uncle Sam will not wave the security deposit, so we're at a standstill. So, if anyone is in the market for a couple of well-bugged properties...

  • Dillinger||

    >>>Sen. John McCain's (R-Arizona) emergency medical treatment

    ultimate filibuster.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Penultimate. The ultimate is filibustering atop a juiced up Bengal tiger.

  • Dillinger||

    dang i hate when i choose the wrong word. did you see the tiger that came out of the tall grass and swiped that dude off the top of an elephant?

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Of course, it's a classic vid.

  • Zeb||

    We'll have to wait and see. If McCain dies, then it truly is the ultimate filibuster (for him).

  • Dillinger||

    sweet. pendingultimate.

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

    Flash mob of 500 teens throw glass bottles and taunt Philadelphia police during an unauthorized recreation center cookout

    Move off the front page, pretty lady who was murdered in Minneapolis.

    Despite the rife opportunity for the incident to escalate, authorities said that they decided not to make any arrests, waiting for the crowd to scatter naturally — which it did after a few hours.

    See, our heroes in blue didn't act like total assholes, and that's why they are heroes.

  • Dillinger||

    the fuck is an unauthorized cookout?

  • Eric L||

    It's Philly - the police dropping of FBI-supplied water gel explosives on MOVE where 11 people got bbq'd.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    When your mom said you have to finish your homework before having friends over.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Fuck the police, I'm not looking at anymore cop shit for sake of my own sanity.

  • AlmightyJB||

    No shootings? Come on Philly, is that any way to represent?

  • Zeb||

    So they manage to restrain themselves when actually being pelted with dangerous missiles, but can't help but shoot everyone's dog, women in pajamas and black dudes attempting to obey conflicting orders.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    There was an incident a couple years ago where a Philly cop tried to arrest some guy in a subway station and the cop got the crap beat out of him while there was like two dozen people standing around, not one of whom even called 911.

    Since then the Philly police have been trying to put on a charm offensive.

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

  • Dillinger||

    yeah, sad face for Martin Landau.

  • Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting||

    "People perceived her as a Hollywood blonde bimbo. She was very needy and would go from being on top of her game to absolutely bereft of any self-belief or confidence. She see-sawed between those two personalities."

    You hear this a lot with Marilyn--she was a chameleon who took on whatever persona she felt would suit her needs at the time. When people talked to her ex-husbands about her, they all described someone who was completely different from how she was viewed by the others. It's hard not to feel sorry for how the Hollywood machine used her up and spit her out, or how the degenerate Kennedy brothers treated her, but she wasn't clueless about the game, either.

  • Dillinger||

    >>>Chinese censors really don't like Winnie the Pooh.

    fuck you, Chinese censors. Winnie the Pooh is the shit.

  • Juice||

    Can't tell if I saw what you did there.

  • Juice||

    How am I trespassing? This is a government building.

    LOL, I guess you thought government means public and public means you? LOL

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

    Teacher gets 90 days of jail time for trying to meet 16-year-old for sex

    former Nebraska City teacher who tried meeting a 16-year-old boy for sex last year was given 90 days in jail Monday afternoon.

    Otoe County Judge John Steinheider also gave Lofing 24 months of probation, according to court records.

    She was originally charged with debauching a minor but pleaded no contest to an amended charge of contributing to the delinquency of a child, because the boy was 16.

    More details - and a few photos of her pretty smile, here.

    Fun fact: I also haven't fucked a 16-year-old boy today.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    Jesus, send me back to school already amirite?

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    We were born too soon. Or else we are dead and this is hell.

  • OM Nullum gratuitum prandium||

    This IS Hell.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    Fun fact: I also haven't fucked a 16-year-old boy today yet .

    FTFY

  • Zeb||

    due to the fact that the 16-year-old boy was able to legally consent to sex at the time of the alleged incident, debauchery of a minor is the most serious offense that could be filed against Lofing.

    So why charge her with anything? If the age of consent is 16, how is this something for the law to be involved in at all?

    Also, Coed News is badly in need of a proofreader.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "Russian officials say they will not accept any conditions from the United States for the return of two diplomatic compounds in New York and Maryland that were seized last year over espionage concerns."

    Those were seized in connection with one of Barack Obama's temper tantrums. I know Obama thought that Putin made him look like a fool at every turn, but it was really Obama that made himself look like a fool. For instance, it wasn't Putin that threatened to enforce a red line almost no one in America wanted against Assad--Obama did that all by himself. But Obama was a petty, petty man, and to a petty man and his fawning press corps, making Obama look bad was an unpardonable sin*.

    Contrast that with Trump working out a limited ceasefire deal with Putin, which, much to consternation of lefties everywhere, seems to be holding. I guess Putin has more pull with Iran, Hezbollah, and Assad than the left generally appreciates. It's kind of funny that the Syrian ceasefire is getting so little press. I guess the media is waiting for it to fail so they can blame Trump for the failure. Me, I'm hoping that peace breaks out in Syria, and the media doesn't bother to tell us about how the war in Syria ended until months after it's over.

    Maybe Liz Warren goes over there on an independent inspection, months from now, and the media gives her credit for ending the Syrian war with the force of her peaceful personality. We can only hope.

    *See Snowden

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

    But Obama was a petty, petty man

    Do you know who else was a petty, petty man?

  • Ken Shultz||

    Is it someone who obsesses over Trump's tweets but ignores his foreign policy?

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

    Who is ignoring his foreign policy? And, before you tut-tut the ceasefire, it may not be going exactly as Trump claims.

  • Ken Shultz||

    Do you see everything that happens as being either validating or invalidating of Trump?

    We've had eight years of neocons. Trump is returning to the pragmatism of the Reagan/Bush Sr. years.

    Making friends with Pinochet, Stalin, and Putin is sometimes in our interests. And if that pragmatism is able to get a ceasefire going (how all wars are ended), then its a vastly superior strategy to that which McCain, the Neocons, the Obama administration, Hillary Clinton, the FBI, and the White House press corps are effectively advocating, which holds that we can't make use of Putin to end the Syrian war and extricate ourselves from the area--because Putin is a bad man that doesn't respect a free press and doesn't believe in equal rights for LGBT.

    Like I said, the ceasefire is limited and may not hold. But the idea that there will ever be peace in the area without Russia's support, so long as Iran, Assad, and Hezbollah are more or less beholden to Russia and their protection from the international community by way of Russia's veto on the Security Council? That idea is thoroughly preposterous.

    That Trump has managed to accomplish what Obama couldn't in working out a deal with Putin is a real credit to pragmatism. That's how we won the Cold War.

    But why talk about foreign policy when we can talk about Trump's latest tweet or about how Putin won't apologize to get back the Russian diplomats' vacation compound Obama seized?

  • Stilgar||

    Ken so then you must agree with Trumps love of all things Saudi (or, lets just put in Sunni)? Including their wide spread financing and exporting of rabidly extreme Islam throughout the middle, near and far east? And his war mongering against Iran? And his unconditional love for the Israelis?

    Trump isn't making "friends" with Putty for American interests. It is to minimize the chance of Trump being personally embarassed by Putin. He knows he can't roll him so he makes nice nice.

  • Dillinger||

    David Pearson?

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    The lead singer for The Heartbreakers?

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    It's me isn't it?

  • HeteroPatriarch||

    Principal Skinner?

  • Crusty Juggler :)||

    Today the Department of Homeland Security announced it would allow

    They are so generous!

  • OM Nullum gratuitum prandium||

    I know, right? God gave them wisdom for a reason.

  • OM Nullum gratuitum prandium||

    In a speech before prosecutors, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he's going to be issuing a directive this week increasing the use of civil asset forfeiture, even as states attempt to rein in the heavily abused police practice.


    Somebody has to pay for that wall...

  • OM Nullum gratuitum prandium||

    Due to Sen. John McCain's (R-Arizona) emergency medical treatment, nobody seems to truly know what's going to happen with the Senate this week and proposed health care overhaul legislation.


    What does the Congress office pool look like? That should give anyone a clue...

  • OM Nullum gratuitum prandium||

    A federal appeals court panel has ruled that the gag orders that come with the FBI's National Security Letters (NSLs) demanding internet companies secretly provide data about users are not unconstitutional violations of the First Amendment.


    Right. Hopefully someone will speak up and then we'll see just how "constitutional" are those gag orders.

  • OM Nullum gratuitum prandium||

    A federal appeals court in Florida has ruled that the state attorney for the Miami-Dade County area illegally attempted to prosecute a man for recording interactions with Homestead police.


    Maybe the state attorney should have issued a preemptive gag order...

  • Jerryskids||

    Will the White House support a primary challenger to Republican Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake? Flake has been a public critic of President Donald Trump.

    The question is, will the GOP support a primary challenger to Flake? They're probably still pretty sore about that Eric Cantor thing, they don't like people who don't tow the party lion.

  • Stilgar||

    Flake has a more conservative voting record than the average of the other elephants in the Senate. So the not being a party boy argument is pretty weak. Its more about butt hurt because he speaks his mind.

  • simplybe||

    I think that cops who steal your money (civil asset forfeiture ) without charging you should be dealt with like any other armed robber. I sure as hell wouldn't convict.

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