Nobody Dast Blame Obama for Mispronouncing the Stupid Name of Miami's Basketball Team or Romney Doing Same with Wawa!

So basketball-fan-in-chief Barack Obama misidentified the NBA champeens, the Miami Heat, thus:

At the top of his remarks at the Jackie Gleason Theater in Miami Beach, Obama said his public recognition of dignitaries and special guests would be "incomplete if I did not congratulate the city of Miami for having the world champion Miami Heats here in town."

Wow, what a tool, ha ha ha. His teleprompter (which I understand is controlled by Bill Ayers and Saul Alinsky) must have been malfunctioning.

He sounds almost as dumb as Mitt Romney yammering on about convenience stores:

"By the way, where do you get your hoagies here? Do you get them at Wawas, is that where you get them?" Romney says in the video of the campaign appearance, which can be viewed below. "Well, I went to a place today called Wawas. You ever been to Wawas? Anyone been to Wawas? I was at Wawas. I went in to order a sandwich…."

While I'm glad that Lebron et al won the title, let the record show that the Heat is one of the lousiest names for a pro sports teams. It's right up there with vagues invocations of the Wild and the Burn and geographical brainbusters such as the Memphis Grizzlies and the Utah Jazz. And any spelling of cats with a K.

So let's give Obama a pass on this one, as long as he agrees to never again pretend to be a sports fan for political gain. Seriously, he's the least convincing sports fan since Ethel Rosenberg.

As for Romney, whose former employer (the Salt Lake City Olympics) bought and sold whole countries and off-shored countless athletes while killing small business, he should likewise drop the pretense that he in fact has ever eaten a sandwich, much less ordered one electronically at a convenience store. Rich people don't eat sandwiches, do they? Bonus points that der Mittster got the south Jersey/Philly designation of "hoagie" right (the rest of the world—and real New Jerseyans—know it as a sub), but please stop dressing like anyone other than the Thurston Howell III impersonator we know you to be.

Can we get around to discussing real issues any time soon, like which candidate would be better suited to dealing with an invasion by outer-space aliens?