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What to Know Before You Pay for Sex

Tips, tricks, and common sense to make hiring an escort a breeze

This article is part of Reason's special Burn After Reading issue, where we offer how-tos, personal stories, and guides for all kinds of activities that can and do happen at the borders of legally permissible behavior. Subscribe Now and get fast first class delivery of the July issue at no extra cost!

In 1948, the noted sex researcher Alfred Kinsey reported that 69 percent of men had paid for sex at some point in their lives. The 2005 General Social Survey put the number at closer to 15 percent. The true answer is probably somewhere in between—not just because time has passed and norms have changed, but because getting people to answer such questions honestly is not always possible. Still, it's clear even from the low-end estimates that hiring a sex worker is a pretty normal thing to do. I've been an escort since January 2000, I was a stripper for two years before that, and I practiced what the literature calls "casual prostitution" going back to 1985. In those years I've seen men of all ages, from 18 to 94, and all walks of life, from a truck driver to a U.S. senator. I've made a good living at it, and so do roughly half a million other women in the United States.

Despite being a common activity, buying sexual services can be intimidating. As with all black market transactions, there is an element of risk and uncertainty caused by prohibition. Maybe you're considering buying sex but are unsure how to proceed. Or maybe you've done it in the past but are nervous in the current climate of aggressive "end demand" stings and "john shaming"—complete with names and pictures in the news. Either way, you've come to the right place: Hiring an escort is neither difficult nor dangerous as long as one exercises patience, diligence, and good manners.

Before starting, it's a good idea to have in mind what you're looking for. Is there a particular kind of person you're interested in, such as someone with certain physical characteristics or a certain educational level? Do you have a particular interest—a kink or fetish, for example—that your regular partner is unwilling or unable to fulfill? Maybe you've fantasized about being with a transgender woman, a pair of bisexual temptresses, or a lady who can really wield a whip? Are you sexually bored and looking for someone to give you the kind of bed-busting experience you've seen in porn? Or perhaps you're simply lonely and would like an interesting companion for the evening?

As long as you live in or can travel to a city of at least moderate size, it's extremely likely you'll be able to find a sex worker online who fits the bill. But to do so, you're going to need to do your research, and this is where the patience comes in. Even if you're just looking for a decently attractive gal (or guy!) to give you a good time without drama, it's still a good idea not to be in too much of a rush. Don't jump on your computer at 11 p.m. and expect to have the perfect partner at your door by midnight. Hurrying things is a good way to be disappointed, if not robbed or arrested.

Not to say there aren't escort agencies who might be able to help you in a jiffy, or that behind every goofy emoji-laden ad lurks a cop or con artist. But if you put at least as much effort into choosing an escort as you would into picking a fine restaurant or a mechanic, you'll maximize your chance of having a satisfying experience.

The seizure this year of the classified site Backpage.com by federal authorities (for alleged money laundering and facilitating prostitution) has shaken up sex-work advertising, as has the passage of a new law, the Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (known as FOSTA). In the wake of FOSTA—which makes it a federal crime to host digital content that promotes or facilitates prostitution and, importantly, allows web publishers and platforms to be held liable—Craigslist shut down its personals section, multiple escorting forums have closed, and some foreign websites have started blocking U.S. visitors. But there are many different places for sex professionals to advertise online, and it is possible to connect without putting you, them, or the platform operator at risk.

These websites range from the no-frills to the glossy, from the local to the international. Though I wish there were an easy, universal formula I could give you for finding such resources, there really isn't. A Google search for "escorts" and your city is not a bad jumping-off point, but be aware that not all of what comes up will be high-quality. There are quite a few scraper sites, for example, that harvest escort ads from legitimate platforms in order to draw page views but don't care whether those ads are current or even real. (I still get calls from a post I put up in Tulsa more than a year before I moved to Seattle in 2015.) Big names such as Eros and Slixa (both hosted outside the United States), or a review board concentrating on your geographic location, are usually a good way to start.

Notice I said "start." Once you look through the ads—and most of the good sites have them subdivided by categories, such as "mature," "GFE" ("girlfriend experience"), "tantra," and so on—and find a service provider you think you'd like to see, the next step is to do a bit more research. Most established professionals will link to their websites from their ads. If you don't see such a link, a search with name and city will often turn it up.

Here comes the "diligence" part: Read the provider's site, and I don't just mean skimming it for the first thing that looks like a point of contact or glancing at the pictures. I mean read it, especially the rates page and the contact information. Trust me, guys, there is nothing that will annoy a pro more than an email containing a bunch of questions that are answered right there on the website. When escorts get together with each other for drinks, this is one of the most common things we bitch about. On the other hand, demonstrating that you did read the site by following the contact instructions correctly is an excellent way to get on your provider's good side from the get-go. (This is especially true of dominatrices, in my experience.)

If you're nervous and/or picky, this is the time to look at the person's online footprint. For years, reviews were a good way to find out what kinds of experiences other clients had with the lady you're considering, but that's not as true as it once was. While many sex workers like getting reviews and will happily point you to them (and some even prefer that you consult them rather than ask questions), others dislike or distrust them. For some, including me, it's a matter of taste: Reviews can often be crass and vulgar even when they're complimentary. They are also regularly embellished to make the reviewer look more studly—so much so that the information conveyed can be…let's just say "less than accurate."

But beyond that, the review system has been undermined by bad actors from both inside and outside of the sex-work community. Unscrupulous clients use the promise of good reviews or the threat of bad ones to coerce inexperienced girls into out-of-bounds activities; unprincipled profiteers sell fake reviews to equally unprincipled escorts; and unethical prosecutors have begun to charge clients who write reviews with "facilitating prostitution." Plus, due to the aforementioned FOSTA, some sites are either closing their reviews to U.S. readers or removing them entirely.

By all means, consult the reviews if a provider has them, but also (or instead) check whether she has a blog, a Twitter account, message-board posts, pictures whose image searches lead you back to a website, and other signs this is a real person rather than a sock puppet created by cops or crooks to ensnare the unwary.

Once you've found a provider you really want to see, verified to your satisfaction that she is an established professional with a history of satisfied customers, and absorbed pertinent public info about rates, hours, etc., it's time to make contact. But be warned: Just as you wanted to know what you were getting, sex workers want to know what they are getting. Reach out in whatever way the website directs, and provide whatever information is requested. Don't try to get cute, and don't act pushy or overly defensive: While you may be worried about being cheated or arrested, we're worried about those things plus the possibility of a rough, abusive, or violent client.

Most providers will ask for references—that is, the names and contact info of other professionals you've seen. For your sake, it's best to give at least two, in case one is slow to respond or doesn't remember you. "Bambi from Backpage, I don't recall her number" ain't gonna cut it. If you have never seen a pro before, or if it's been more than a few years, be honest about that; some will turn you down without references, but others are "newbie friendly" and will screen you by other means, such as employment verification or connecting with you on a site such as LinkedIn. Don't be shy—remember, you've already verified her, and she has no reason to risk her reputation and business by outing you. But if you do feel the provider is asking too much, you should politely decline and find someone else; pressuring a sex worker to "make an exception" won't get you anywhere except onto a blacklist.

(There are also whitelist services that will use employment verification and/or public records to confirm you are who you claim, giving you a number or other tag by which your certification can be looked up from our end. However, they typically charge a fee, not every pro accepts them, and they're going to ask you for screening info as well. I'd advise you to look into those later, after you've decided this is something you want to do regularly.)

If you've done all that and secured an appointment, the rest can be summed up in three words: Be a gentleman. Don't haggle over price, be coy with payment, ask rude or prying questions, push boundaries, or even think about asking for unprotected sex. Do be prompt (which does not mean "early"), clean (that means soap, including your whole crotch region), generous (a tip or small gift is not expected, but it is definitely appreciated), and as respectful as you would be of any other businessperson. If you have to cancel, do so far in advance, and if that isn't possible, either offer to pay for the session anyway or at the very least send a generous gift card.

In short, act as if you really want to impress, and there's an extremely high chance she will do the same for you.


Don't forget to check out the rest of Reason's Burn After Reading content.

Photo Credit: Joanna Andreasson, mocker_bat/iStock

Maggie McNeill was a librarian in suburban New Orleans, but after an acrimonious divorce economic necessity inspired her to take up sex work; from 1997 to 2006 she worked first as a stripper, then as a call girl and madam. She eventually married her favorite client and retired to a ranch in Oklahoma, but began escorting part-time again in 2010 and full-time again early in 2015 after another divorce (this time amicable). She has been a sex worker rights activist since 2004, and since 2010 has written a daily blog, The Honest Courtesan, which examines the realities, myths, history, lore, science, philosophy, art, and every other aspect of prostitution.

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  • loveconstitution1789||

    The War on Drugs will shift to the War on Sex. Madams, with all the info that escort publications used to have, will be more important.

    This is like only being able to drink alcohol after giving the password thru a door.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I think that's already begun. At some point flirting will get you a human trafficking charge. Pricks.

  • SQRLSY One||

    And don't forget to leave your tip in the tip jar! The REALLY conscientious John will ALSO bring his OWN tip jar, just in case the existing tip jar is already totally full of "Just Mayo"!!!

  • DaveKunard||

    Is this true?

  • Conchfritters||

    This is especially true of dominatrices, in my experience.

    Talk about pissing off the wrong person - especially if a day later she has your balls in a clamp.

  • technovelist||

    "In 1948, the noted sex researcher Alfred Kinsey reported that 69 percent of men had paid for sex at some point in their lives. The 2005 General Social Survey put the number at closer to 15 percent. The true answer is probably somewhere in between—not just because time has passed and norms have changed, but because getting people to answer such questions honestly is not always possible. "

    Including dating and marriage, the number is pretty close to 100%.

  • Domina Elle||

    Kinsey also did studies with pedophiles even listing details such as how long it took to make an infant orgasm and how many times in a 24 hour period. I cringe every time I see or hear his name. this 'data' is found in his notorious book. What a jerk. That's being polite which is more than he deserves. i wouldn't quote or reference that fucker he doesn't deserve credit as the 'father of sexual therapy' more so as the miscreant of sexual studies. He just managed to be at the right place at the right time because people were hungry to talk about sex in that era. Had a woman tried the same thing no doubt it would have been met with huge resistance. And no I'm not coming from a feminist platform. 'Table 34' he gave the opposition to sexual freedoms ammo which they use to this very day. "It was for the sake of research" blah blah blah. The victims have been wanting this so called research to be made public but the Kinsey institute refuses and denies. Why? After all 'research'. His 'interest' and focus on the sexual abuse of children has been confirmed by researchers who worked close with Kinsey. Just because he also had a fascination (perhaps obsession) with prostitutes SO WHAT. He didn't do us any favors.

  • vek||

    Other than him doing a lot of messed up/possibly unethical stuff in his research, many doubt the quality and accuracy of a lot of it as well. Many of his figures ended up being REALLY hard to believe to most people. Then in most subsequent studies the numbers came in a lot different, and generally closer to something that seemed realistic to people.

    So he was probably a skeezy guy AND didn't really do quality work.

  • Illocust||

    It's strange how those things tend to go together. I mean actually strange. You'd think some of these weirdos might actually have a thing for data, but pretty much none of them do good research....then again, it seems any study with big enough numbers to get quoted on the regular is done shoddily to get those numbers, so maybe that's what's going on.

  • iffickck||

    "Had a woman tried the same thing no doubt it would have been met with huge resistance."

    I fucking hate you people, you always find a way to bitch about gender grievances. Is it any wonder discourse is polluted with this shit.

  • Les||

    "I fucking hate you people."

    Yeah, I don't think she's the one polluting discourse.

  • Domina Elle||

    This will be in 3 parts or more....

    If you are seeking a Dominatrix do a google search in the city for Dominatrix not escort. Dominatrices usually don't list themselves as 'escorts'. Escorts who are 'Fetish friendly' generally do. Escorts who also provide Fetish likely won't have fully equipped full on dungeons. While there is an overlap between escorts and Dommes, there are a variety of differences between escorts (even if they're Fetish friendly) and Dominatrices.

    For a long time and up until only more recently, many Dommes resented the escorts who would tap into their realm (I was never one of them- I've always held that adults providing erotic services have a right to provide whatever services they choose to) but since Dommes don't generally provide sex, blow jobs, or any of the sex that escorts might- they provide domination and Fetish services pretty much exclusively without sex, historically they resented being confused with escorts because they did not want to be expected to perform any of the services that escorts are generally known for. Some because they didn't want to be seen as prostitutes. Thankfully Dommes have come to be more inclusive of their escorting compatriots.

  • Domina Elle||

    Part 2....

    Escorts who dabble in Fetish to pull in additional income rather than mastering the 'bizarre arts' which are many within the realm of bdsm, often have less experience with them than a Dominatrix who is focused exclusively upon the mastering of the wide range of bdsm related skill sets and the creation of kinky Fetish based scenarios.

    especially in regions that have escorting licensing you won't see Dommes referring to themselves as escorts.

  • Domina Elle||

    Part 3.....

    Maggie really isn't the best person to go to regarding Professional Dommes. It's a different 'playing field' in so many ways.

    But clearly editors at reason are smitten with her and must assume she knows everything about the industry. Granted, she knows a lot- but just as a vet can tell you some about doctors who treat humans and there are similarities between the vocations and fields, they really have only mastered their own field or range of expertise. There are similarities and there are huge differences between escorts and Dominatrices. I've worked as both but have spent the last 20 years dedicated to professional Domination and Fetish which was my natural inclination. I'm not surprised her focus and understanding is rooted in escorting because she isn't and has never been a full time long term Dominatrix. In many ways we are talking apples as compared to oranges.

  • Domina Elle||

    Part 4....

    Prices or reviews will not always be listed on ads or websites. Under criminalization it isn't exactly wise to post them. Clients shouldn't let the lack of this information dissuade them from calling a provider. Providers must do what they can to protect themselves under criminalization. The phone contact is crucial and this is where the client can get the info and a better insight into whether or not they want to move forward.

    Do not ask for this or that on the call- if the service is criminalized! If you don't know- pretty much anything that involves money exchanged and any sort of sexual gratification is criminalized- to do so is to put the provider in a precarious legal position.

  • Domina Elle||

    Part 5 and final.....

    As criminalized erotic service Providers this is what law enforcement will do to entrap us in phone calls. Our speech is criminalized! We can be arrested for merely agreeing to provide a criminalized service. Be smart about it! The risk is really on the client under criminalization. tell the provider what your fantasies are in a general manner if at all, but don't do it by saying "will you (fill in the blank). A bdsm provider will often list their 'limits' on their sites. If your interest isn't on that list you'll just have to risk it and hope for the best. Finding a long time provider initially is a better wager if you are inexperienced. In my state people have been charged and found guilty for taking money to watch a client touch himself! That's how fucking crazy these laws are!

    Websites can be a very good indicator of many things. Look up the Whois of a site- how long has the site been up? This can be a good indicator of how long the provider has been working and how much experience longevity they have but shouldn't be used exclusively.

  • Domina Elle||

    Supporting sex worker rights orgs which are actively working to decriminalize is an awesome thing to do. ESPLERP.org (erotic service provider legal education and research project) and ESPU (erotic service provider union) leads in this endeavor and has the longest and most experience in the trenches of impact litigation.

    Both providers of erotic services and their clients desperately need the benefit of equal protection under law. this will open the floodgates so that other much-needed work can be done, clients and providers a like will have protections that they do not currently have and we will be able to freely talk about what services we want to purchase and provide in phone calls without the fear of being arrested over our speech or continue to risk being arrested for our consensual adult choices and behaviors.

    This is the ASK.

  • ||

    Huh.

  • AlmightyJB||

    You were confused by this as well?

    "Dommes don't generally provide sex"

  • Starchild||

    Thanks for this, Domina. Very important point! If you ask for criminalized services when calling or writing a provider, s/he may assume you're an undercover sleazebag and react accordingly.

  • Conchfritters||

    You make some good points, but sometimes a person just wants a girl to piss on him and then give him a blow job. There is a place for the inbetween.

  • Domina Elle||

    You missed my comment where I said that people should be able to offer whatever services they choose apparently. Look- I've been banned from dominatrix threads because I defended providers the pro Dommes happily marginalized as 'hookers with whips'. That was 2012. Many dommes now days are coming around thank goodness that we are all in the same boat- criminalized stigmatized and marginalized regardless of the vocation in erotic services.

  • Domina Elle||

    Didn't Maggie & other sex workers in her region talk to the DA there, was assured by that DA (one who took money from Swanee Hunt's demand abolition) that sex workers there wouldn't be arrested- only their clients were being targeted. That's likely a reason she feels so confident to talk as she does, meanwhile rest of the sex worker community isn't living in the bubble she is. That says to me she's not as threatened by criminalization as others are. They aren't decriminalized officially but when a DA tells you you won't be targeted for arrest you'd likely feel a bit more 'comfortable' than those of us who don't have a DA telling us we won't be arrested. I'm concerned about what I said here in threads- but at this time especially- why give cops insider info that'll assist in hunting us or our clients?

    Based on her level of 'comfort' you'd think we were legal workers! News flash Maggie! We are CRIMINALIZED. She didn't signal boost decrim either. Something I feel any sex worker given a platform to speak on behalf of sex workers owes it to sex workers to do. But Is it truly crucial issue to Maggie? it certainly is for millions of sex workers (including trans & POC she uses to virtue signal) who aren't anywhere near as 'comfortable' as she clearly is

    Maggie is an 'expert' alright- at being Maggie & her giving her perspective. Doesn't matter if she risks our community & clients as she platforms HERSELF first & foremost.

  • Ornithorhynchus||

    Have you never read her blog? Maggie talks about the need for decriminalization all the time.

  • iffickck||

    You're the fucking clown who bitched about your lame gender grievances at the first pseudo-opportunity.

    How much to get you to shut the fuck up?

  • iffickck||

    And by the way, you're a whore. I'm never going to call you a sex worker.

  • Marty Feldman's Eyes||

    Dude, what's your fucking problem. Chill out.

  • AlmightyJB||

    His mom was a whore so...

  • swampwiz||

    At age 94, I hope to have enough interest in sex to want to pay for it.

  • Ryan the Sea Lion||

    To each his own, but this is kind of a creepy article.

    Still, maybe it should be shared with all those "incels" I keep hearing about. Could save a life or ten.

  • Eidde||

    The Virginia Tech shooter hired a hooker, but it didn't cheer him up.

  • Marcus Aurelius||

    Well, DC prices don't make anyone happy.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Probably because she said his life's a bore, and to quit his whining cause it's bringing her down.

  • Weigel's Cock Ring||

    The "incel" stuff is a bunch of bullshit the leftist assholes in the Journolist manufactured out of whole cloth to deflect from their responsibility both for the many ways in which they debase our culture, and for their bad policies like deinstitutionalization and the drugging of our children (especially boys).

    The idea that losers who can't get laid are a relatively new phenomenon shouldn't pass the laugh test for anyone with even two neurons firing at each other.

  • Marcus Aurelius||

    No, but in the past pretty much every generation sent a boat load of them to die in wars and rendered the problem moot. We won't see that anymore.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    It's gotten a lot more widespread in the Tinder era. With monogamy officially a joke at this point, we're back to the primate norm of the top 80% of females banging the top 20% of males. Add in the ubiquity of porn and the guys in the middle of the pack are not going to lower their standards to accept the disgusting creatures in the bottom 20% of females.

  • Earth Skeptic||

    "Incel" may be bullshit, but just for laughs we should help them get status as a protected class, and then work out their entitlements. I like the irony of the top quartile of attractive women having to share their unfairly hoarded "sexiness" with the needy.

  • Starchild||

    It's no less unfair than the richest 25% having to pay high income taxes.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    I agree that drugging kids in school is very bad and leads to a large portion of our mass casualty attacks. However, some cultures emphasize the need to continue the family name. This value motivated my friend from Afghanistan to hook up with his common law wife a few years ago by asking her if she was tired of sleeping on a park bench each night. Since then, he has been a better husband and father than most of the men I know. The average American man would rather live like a priest than impregnate a homeless escapee from a psych ward.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    Ditto. I find it a bit creepy, too. Perhaps it's the latent "SoCon" within me.

  • StackOfCoins||

    If it's creepy, it's because of the weird intersection of sexual and illegal activity that prostitution lies at. And it will seem mysterious and sleazy until someone has a positive interaction with a sex worker. In my experience they are very pragmatic and friendly people.

    I am pro-sex worker.

  • chemjeff radical individualist||

    I'm surprised it's as high as 15%.

  • Eidde||

    How you you make a hormone?

  • SusanM||

    Give her $20

    (ba-dumpt tish)

  • SusanM||

    Some more tips on finding Dommes:

    "Goddess" = "I live in a trailer"
    "Mistress" = "I have to drop Tyler off at soccer practice in an hour"
    "Educated" = "I dropped out of high school"
    "Strict" = "I'm trying to pass off my major psychological disorders as being dominant"
    "Financial Domination" = "I want a lot of money for making zero effort"
    "I'm on Fetlife" = "I'm just bullshitting everyone - even myself"
    "I have a group on Fetlife" = "I actually think I'm important"
    "I support Fetlife" = "Spending 5 bucks means I'm for real"
    "I have a dungeon" = "I think cracked plywood with sad novelty floggers from Amazon is a dungeon"
    "Safe, Sane and Consenual" = "I'm loaded as we speak"

  • John C. Randolph||

    "Financial Domination"

    That is some of the goofiest shit I've ever heard of. How pathetic does a schmuck have to be, to pay a hooker without even getting laid?

    -jcr

  • SusanM||

    If you've never heard of it you've walked a better path than I.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    As a Gen Xer paying into Social Security, I sympathize with them.

  • SIV||

    Work some overtime, man. The millennials aren't going to partially fund my retirement. Of course depending on which end of "Gen-X" you are you might be drawing it before me

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Going by the 1966-85 definition of Gen X, the first member will become eligible for full SS benefits in 2033. I would be shocked if the system is still going by then.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Yeah, I mean if you want to pay somene hundreds of dollars to act superior to you without any possibility of sex, see a shrink.

  • SusanM||

    Or take a philosophy class.

  • Eidde||

    Contact your local Writers' Guild

    (no, no, just kidding)

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Fun fact: I'm so good sex workers pay me for sex.

  • iffickck||

    No, just like everyone else, they pay you to leave.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Doesn't that make you the sex worker?

  • Weigel's Cock Ring||

    Someone's day off is officially over and is back on the clock now.

    The rest of the assholes probably won't be too far behind.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Did you ever find out who killed Seth Rich, Mikey?

  • BlueStarDragon||

    This tell me I run with a different crowd. If Someone says they have a dungeon room, It always meant to me and my friends to get the D&D book, D&D charter sheets and dice.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Finally, an opportunity to link to this skit.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "In 1948, the noted sex researcher Alfred Kinsey reported that 69 percent of men had paid for sex at some point in their lives. The 2005 General Social Survey put the number at closer to 15 percent."

    I'd suggest two likely interrelated explanations: pr0n and the increasing acceptability of autoeroticism.

    In 1948, pr0n wasn't widely available, and jerkin' it was socially unacceptable--to the point where people disapproved of themselves for doing it. If you were going to do it, it was stickin' it in a vagina, or you weren't going to be doing it at all. This was a world where people got married right out of high school--and for that reason. Even the fundamentalist Christians didn't expect you to abstain. They just expected you to get married when you were 19.

    Different world in 2005, when entrepreneurs had invested hundreds of billions of dollars in building the infrastructure to deliver your disgusting personal preferences to your 28 year-old, single self in the privacy of your parents' basement, and if what they believed about jerkin' it in 1948 had been true, the average guy in 2005 would have already made himself blind a hundred times over.

    .

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Imagine what will happen when circumcision goes out of style.

  • Ken Shultz||

    That only goes out of style when women say so.

    As long as women would rather not kiss the anteater, there will still be an excellent argument for getting the snip.

    It's sort of like parents getting their daughter the HPV vaccine--only more so. The HPV vaccine only protects you if you have sex, it doesn't necessarily make sex more likely. The snip, on the other hand? Like I said, if most women would rather not kiss the anteater, they're never going to tell you why. And if you never get that kind of sex before your college years, it probably changes your whole outlook on life.

    I've long suspected that's what happened to Dick Cheney, Al Gore, and Mitt Romney. If they'd gotten some head just once in their lives, maybe they wouldn't spend every minute of every day like they got a stick up their asses. I guess Mormon girls don't do that, Gore didn't have the testosterone, and Cheney was just too evil for anyone to offer. Do you want your kid to grow up like that?

    I say give your kid a fighting chance.

    If you only get one BJ you wouldn't have gotten otherwise, it's worth it. Nobody lies on their death bed thinking, "I wish I hadn't gotten so many BJs". It just doesn't happen.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    I fly the wrinkly windsock and I've never had a complaint. It doesn't make a difference once it's full sail, Shirley?

    It's gotta be a regional thing. I'd guess foreskins have mandatory trigger warnings in NY, but throughout vast swathes of "flyover" country I'd guess it's not that unusual. The expectations of younger generations are solely governed by what they see in porn, so I'd guess that cut dicks will become more fashionable if anything, and a wrinkly shroud will become some kind of urban legend.

  • Ken Shultz||

    I'm not knockin' it. I'm sayin' that you may never know what you didn't get . . .

    Think of it this way. When you go to a job interview, and you don't know whether you're supposed to dress formal, it's a better idea to go ahead with formal. The people who don't care if you're dress formal generally won't hold it against you if you do, but the people who expected you to dress formal? They'll hold against you if you don't.

    How many girls take a pass on a guy because he IS circumcised?

    I know that in other cultures where circumcision maybe isn't the norm, it's probably a non-factor. If we're talking real upsides and downsides, and I gotta make the call for my own kid? I'm going low downside.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    How does a woman know whether you're circumcised until the deed is at hand, so to speak? She'd have to cut off the proceedings pretty abruptly and look pretty horrid.

  • Procyon Rotor||

    "I'd cause permanent bodily disfigurement to my newborn son because it might help him get laid." is possibly the most deranged and immoral thing I've ever heard get said.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Meh ... Did you ever meet a guy from Ecuador? The one I met was on his knees and sucking me on the dance floor before I could say, "No, thank you." Now, I have to buy my boyfriend an apology gift. In a round about way, it is like my bf is the pimp and the random hookup is a sharmota.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "As long as women would rather not kiss the anteater, there will still be an excellent argument for getting the snip."

    Gay culture is another world.

    When women do that to a guy? It makes him forgive all his past enemies, want to completely rearrange his future, and believe that there's a God with a greater plan for all of us. So, yeah, they make you want to cut that thing off the end of your dingy.

    I don't know what makes gay guys get out of bed in the morning. Guys to me either want to buy something from me, work for me, or they're in the fuckin' way. If I didn't care about the company of women, I'd buy a bunch of land in the middle of nowhere and build a cabin. Everything I do that isn't that? Is because of women. Society, culture, rock and roll, religion, etc. It's all about them. All the stupidest things we do in life because of a woman--aren't stupid at all if we did them for a woman.

    It's not just that way for the descendants of homo erectus, either. Salmon swim a thousand miles upstream against the current--because that's where the women are going.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    You must have gotten one hell of a blowjob to make you this mouthwhipped.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Having been exposed to The Thing at an early age, I avoid sticking delicate parts of my body into collapsible openings lined with hard pointy things. But that's just me.

  • sarcasmic||

    If you only get one BJ you wouldn't have gotten otherwise, it's worth it. Nobody lies on their death bed thinking, "I wish I hadn't gotten so many BJs". It just doesn't happen.

    "Here's something you'll never hear a guy say: Stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police!"

    -George Carlin

  • ||

    Nobody lies on their death bed thinking, "I wish I hadn't gotten so many BJs". It just doesn't happen.

    How many AIDS quilts and euphemisms do we have to have for the opposite of this for it to be considered complete falsehood?

    Coyote Ugly
    Don't stick it in crazy
    Walk of shame
    Buyer's remorse
    Gold digging
    ...

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Imagine what will happen when circumcision goes out of style.

    More guys going Greek.

  • Starchild||

    People masturbate in penthouses, hotels, and airplane bathrooms, as well as parents' basements, and there's nothing disgusting about it. That's your inner religious fundamentalist talking.

  • Juice||

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    Not clicking but if that's one of those sick c#%*s who crushes small animals to death then I hope there's a fucking hollowpoint with their name on it.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    You need a big shoe to crush a mastiff. Maybe it was one of those Eskimo cops with their snowshoes.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    As if clubbing baby seals wasn't enough :(

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    I've been acquainted with a couple of dudes who pay "dommes" to do some ultra-weird things to them. One of them is very much into the subculture surrounding it and his social life seems to mostly revolve around doing various weird BDSM things with his "friends". I don't particularly need to know the details but he likes to share, and from what he's said, it sounds very much like he's taken all the fun out of sex and turned it into something with a lot of politics, judgment (ironically for a subculture that would seem to celebrate tolerance and understanding of fringe, bizarre sexuality), rules, etc. Perhaps that's what gets him off? To me it seems like "scene politics" on steroids, being the most authentic weirdo, very much like the rancorous world of identity politics. It's hard to imagine something less sexy and fun. The world is different and scary now. What happened to people that just liked to get laid now and then?

  • SusanM||

    They're busy getting laid.

  • iffickck||

    They're busy getting laid busy.

    /missed opportunity

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    They're getting busy.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "What happened to people that just liked to get laid now and then?"

    It's too homophobic.

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    Especially if you're gay.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    From what I've seen, the BDSM chat room is mostly subs quietly getting drinks for doms while the doms socialize, which explains why local ordinaces in towns near me require restaurants to have waiters.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    What to Know Before You Pay for Sex

    You could have gotten it for free if you just applied yourself.

    -- Costanza

  • AlmightyJB||

    You're not paying them for the sex, you're paying them to leave after.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Yeah, but I usually pay them extra not to talk about my Dole '96 tattoo.

  • What's that smell?||

    off topic; This is why only highly trained professional LOE's should have guns!!!!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....hoots-man.

  • Eidde||

    The closest I get to seeing highly-paid whores is when I watch TV newscasters.

  • iffickck||

    So, rape is about power, not sex, but a dominatrix is a sex worker.

    Get your narratives straight and get back to me.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    The safeword makes all the difference. Last year, I turned down an offer to be a sex slave for a guy in Paris, because he did not want me to have a safeword and I am bad at learning languages.

  • Echospinner||

    If you have sex for money and film it then it is legal. If you do the same thing in private it is not. Never understood that.

    I don't have a problem with either one.

  • lap83||

    Reason has a very high opinion of its readers

  • Eidde||

    So long as you're trying to reverse a declining readership, why not a New Character, a Very Special Episode, and...wait, this article *is* the Very Special Episode, isn't it?

  • SIV||

    Bladerunner:2049 sucks even worse than I thought it would. I shoulda watched that Catholic channel outta Cullman, Alabama instead-of-HBO-bad. It should have won "worst movie of 2017" or whenever it came out. Not seeing in the theater was even better than not buying a fistfull of losing-lottery tickets. If I was the Goddess Kali I'd give it at least 8 thumbs down

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Is EWTN still going? They must have fallen on hard times with the heretic community organizer wearing the funny hat.

  • SusanM||

    What!? Three hours of Tuvan throat singing and characters talking slowly without ever getting to close to a point was bad? You are not hip, sir.

  • Echospinner||

    Finally a topic worth discussing.

    Yup it sucked. Hard to find a decent sci fi film these days. Not even a really good book. Sure some of the Marvel films are good but that is not real sci fi. Perhaps the genre is worn out. My millennial put it this way "your generation loved space and all that. Now it is all DC/Marvel stuff".

    It is no longer imagination to think about space travel or intelligent robots. Those are a given for the younger generations. We have already done or near that. OK we can't travel past light speeds but this is not a thing they think about much.

    Interesting that we go back to Captain America, Black Panther, and Wonder Woman. Characters from the past.

  • Cyto||

    Ex Machina.

    Great Sci-Fi. Just not the spaceship kind

  • ||

    I'd argue that there's more good Sci-Fi, just not the spaceship kind and not strictly in the Sci-Fi genre. Her, In Time, World War Z... some better than Bladerunner:2049 while not falling squarely next to it in the Sci-Fi genre.

  • Procyon Rotor||

    To each their own, man. I thought 2049 was excellent, as did the friend I saw it with.

  • Emotional Opposition Animal||

    Don't haggle over price, be coy with payment, ask rude or prying questions, push boundaries, or even think about asking for unprotected sex. Do be prompt (which does not mean "early"), clean (that means soap, including your whole crotch region), generous (a tip or small gift is not expected, but it is definitely appreciated), and as respectful as you would be of any other businessperson.

    So I'm supposed to treat her like any other businessperson, but not supposed to bargain over the price or ask questions, and supposed to give her shit for free that wasn't part of the agreement?

  • Sevo||

    That's called 'marriage'.

  • Echospinner||

    Do you bargain with your barber? You might pay extra, I always do but your choice.

    I have no questions about his ability with the scissors. It what I go there for. If I was not happy with the haircut I would have gone somewhere else. Like any good barber, like the bartender we can talk about whatever. It is part (with or without a part) of the art. Guy thing right?

    Professional courtesy is what this sex worker is talking about. I respect the barber for what he does and he returns that. Having no experience with sex for money or desire to do so, it seems appropriate to at least give that.

  • Sevo||

    Usually, I was a bit too drunk to ask for other than the price and see if I had the cash in my pocket, but, hey, that's what sailors are supposed to do.
    In other news, Vancouver, BC is in the throes of a 'housing crisis', and it's odds-on that it's caused by gov't regulations. But the NYT has found useful idiots hoping the 'crisis' can be solved by higher property taxes, 'cause top men!:

    "In Vancouver, a Housing Frenzy That Even Owners Want to End"
    [...]
    "Facing a crisis of affordability, officials are trying to reduce real estate demand through a package of tax measures, some aimed at foreign buyers."
    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/02/
    business/economy/vancouver-housing.html

    Is the NYT whining about tariffs? 'Cause that's what that is.

  • lilighosh3750||

    Good to know after reading this whole article..

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  • fafalone||

    Just how many libertarians that comment on Reason do you think live in this random city in India?

  • Starchild||

    Outsourcing American jobs, lol! Somebody better call Donald Trump.

  • fafalone||

    "Do you have a particular interest—a kink or fetish, for example—that your regular partner is unwilling or unable to fulfill?"
    " or even think about asking for unprotected sex"

    But what if the particular thing we're looking for *is* bbfs o_O

  • Ron||

    If I wanted to work as hard as the article makes it to get a hooker I'd just go on a date. Research and references no thanks. next they will asking for my employee id and facebook

  • Deconstructed Potato||

    You forgot social security number and credit card details.

  • Dillinger||

    every dime ever spent on a chick was paying for sex...totes worth it

  • UnrepentantCurmudgeon||

    So when does Reason start running the ads?

  • Starchild||

    As a male sex worker, this piece makes me feel invisible. I'm glad some female providers are able to ask for references and still get enough work and make enough money to justify the practice, but from where I sit it's like hearing a travel report from an exotic foreign land – it is in my experience a luxury which male providers, with our typically lower pay for equal work, generally cannot afford.

    Of course male providers are also at less risk of violence than female workers, and the pay disparity is no one's fault and not a cause for government intervention – employers in all walks of life have the right to discriminate on the basis of gender, as do contractors and employees.

    But writing about prostitution through the hetero-normative lens of male clients and female sex workers while failing to mention their male colleagues helps reinforce the false narrative, used by those who want to keep the whole trade criminalized, that prostitution is all about the exploitation of women.

    I'm sure Maggie McNeil knows this, but a helpful reminder never hurts – it's easy and sometimes convenient to lapse into such ways of speaking and writing about the issue.

  • BenjaminTheDonkey||

    TANSTAAFL

  • Rockabilly||

    Do you have herpes?

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