Cellphone Ray Menace to Family Jewels Thwarted

Afraid that your cellphone may be emasculating you? Then there's good news–the Swiss clothing company Isabody is offering fashionably black underwear made using threads of silver that it claims protects "men's sperm from harmful cell phone radiation." Textually.org reports:

The inventor, Andreas Sallmann, explains that when you put a cell phone inside your briefs, then dial your number from another phone, you probably won't even get a signal.

What? No boxer briefs? In any case, now that the alarm has been raised, the precautionary principle requires that all cellphones be banned until it has been defiinitively proven that they do not cook sperm.