Federal Bureau of the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice

The FBI is gearing up to face a dire threat to all Americans: consensual adult pornography. The agents, for some reason, are not overly enthusiastic about being diverted from fighting terrorists, mob bosses, and kidnappers. Money quote:

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Greg Beato wrote about Washington's new porn crackdown in a Reason cover story last year.