Try Not to Murder Anyone This Week

Over the weekend, Yasir Arafat condemned Palestinian attacks on Israeli civilians. Well, not quite, but he did say they wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.

"Attacks against civilians have severely harmed our cause in the international arena and in Israeli public opinion," he said. "As the Israeli election date is getting closer, we appeal to all our people to practice self-restraint."

After a long career of terrorism, Arafat finally has realized that murdering innocent people is bad for your image. Not only is his statement notably lacking in moral judgment, but his wording suggests that deliberately shooting little children and blowing up teenagers in cafes are lapses similar to overindulging at the dessert buffet or having one beer too many.