Do Phones Really Wreck Kids' Lives?
"If your kids went through puberty on a smartphone with social media, they came out different than human beings before that," argues psychologist Jonathan Haidt.
I am addicted!
To my phone.
I check an email and before I realize it, I'm watching TikTok videos: lions fight hyenas, military dads reunite with kids, athletes do amazing things.
I look up, and an hour has passed.
I've wasted time, ignored my family and friends, and accomplished nothing.
But who cares? I'm old. I've already achieved what I'm likely to achieve.
Still, what about kids?
"Attention spans are declining," says psychologist Jonathan Haidt. "Levels of anxiety, depression, self-harm were pretty stable…all of a sudden, the rates go way up, especially for girls."
His bestselling book (on bestseller lists for more than a year!) blames smartphones.
"Once they get a smartphone…time with friends plunges. One of the best things you can do as a kid is hang out with friends, joke around, have adventures. If your kids went through puberty on a smartphone with social media, they came out different than human beings before that."
My son, Max, once worked for social media companies. Now he makes his living speaking to students about how phones hook them. He compares smartphones to casino slot machines.
"All the things we love about social media, those are the reward in the slot machine…we get that 'hit' once in a while….That's there to keep us scrolling for hours."
Haidt agrees, calling smartphones a "gambling machine."
They say some apps are worse than others.
"Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok. Those really shatter attention spans. In terms of exposure to things that are really dangerous, Snap is the worst," says Haidt. "In terms of destroying your ability to pay attention, TikTok is the worst. In terms of destroying a teenage girl's sense of confidence, self-esteem, body image, Instagram is the worst."
He says social media affects boys and girls differently.
"Check in on the kids at age 14, girls are doing worse. They're more depressed and anxious, more messed up."
But a few years later, he says, "Girls are more likely to have gone to college, gotten a job, and moved out of their parents' home. Boys are more likely to still be in their parents' basement playing video games. They never grew up. Real life is incredibly boring compared to a video game or porn."
Teachers say phone addiction makes it harder to teach.
"When you and I were in school," says Haidt, "suppose they let you take your TV into class. You couldn't possibly learn."
These are big problems, but I'm a skeptic. Do phones really wreck kids' lives?
We don't know that, say researchers like psychologist Chris Ferguson. "Correlation does not equal causation."
"But teen depression is skyrocketing," I push back, "up 145 percent for girls since 2010!"
"Teen suicide was actually very high in the early 1990s," he replies, "then it decreased…way before social media….Dr. Haidt has cherry-picked a lot of data and presented only the data that support his narrative."
"I am not cherry-picking!" Haidt replies. "I'm the only one in this debate who has picked all of the cherries and laid them out on a blanket."
He does lay out alternative possibilities, like teen marijuana use and the decline of marriage.
"My theory is the only plausible one out there," he says. "No one's even proposed one that will work across so many countries. When you ask people to get off of social media for more than a week, their levels of depression, anxiety, go down."
His book suggests that parents ban phones until high school.
I push back. Kids will complain, "All my friends have one!"
"But what if it was only most of your friends?" he replies. "Then it's much easier."
He wants schools to ban phones, and many have.
I ask Ferguson, "What's the cost of banning it in schools?"
"Unintended negative consequences," he replies. "Are we suspending kids for cellphone use? A lot of schools are, and that can cause real harm to the kids."
Haidt insists, "When schools ban phones, the results are overwhelmingly positive….Kids know that life would be better if they didn't spend five or six hours a day on social media. They know that, but they can't help it."
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