A Shopping List for a Free-Range Family
These products can give kids independence and parents peace of mind.
Enjoy the fruits of capitalism with The Goods, a regular series highlighting products that can make life a little bit better.
Right now, childhood is intensely meh. Maybe you read the recent report in The Journal of Pediatrics that said that as kids' independence and free play have gone down, their anxiety and depression have been going up. Or maybe you picked up Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation and read about how kids need to return to a play-based childhood or else fall off the mental health cliff. Perhaps you saw the surgeon general's report about how kids are utterly miserable—or his newer report about how parents are utterly miserable.
Kids are having less fun growing up oversupervised, and parents are having less fun constantly supervising them. Both generations desperately need freedom. And it turns out that when adults step back, kids step up.
I co-founded Let Grow, where we believe today's kids are smarter and stronger than our culture gives them credit for. We are making it easy, normal, and legal to give kids the independence they need to grow into capable, confident, and happy adults.
If you are ready to start raising free-range kids, here are some goods to make it as easy as falling off a log (something else you should let your kids do). Note: You don't actually have to buy anything to make this happen. Just open the door! But in the interests of capitalism, here are some freedom-enabling goods.
FOR KIDS
Walkie-Talkie
A walkie-talkie is the poor man's iPhone, but better. It lets kids reach you and vice versa—nothing more. Yes, they'll be home for dinner. Thanks for checking in, kids. Now go find a dead body or something.
A Let Grow 'Kids License'
At Let Grow, we do not think kids must be licensed. But when some "good Samaritan" stops your kid on the street and insists it's not safe for them to be outside on their own, your kid can whip out this (free) license that says, "I'm not lost or neglected!" It even has your phone number on it, so the Samaritan can confirm that you are indeed fine with allowing your kid to be a self-ambulating human.
A Bike
For kids, a bike is freedom. And yet the number of kids riding bikes to school (or walking) has been plummeting for decades. For advice on how to get kids back in the banana seat, I contacted Wired writer Clive Thompson, who just rode his bike all the way across America for his next book.
"I don't have a particular brand to recommend (there are many good ones), but the one thing I'll say is don't get a kid's bike from Walmart or Target," says Thompson. "These tend to be very low-quality ones, with exceptionally cheap gear-changing and braking systems that break easily.….If at all possible, go to a full-on bike shop, or a sporting store (like REI)….Paying a little bit more for a good quality children's bike is an investment in making your kid enjoy cycling, and thus more likely to stick with it."
Flashlight
How else are kids going to play night tag? You can get two for $9 at Home Depot, so when they lose one, you don't have to get mad.
Band-Aids
The saying goes, "Better a broken bone than a broken soul." I'd add, "Better a skinned knee than a broken bone OR a broken soul."
About 100 years ago, the wife of Johnson & Johnson employee Earle Dickson kept hurting herself in the kitchen. Dickson took a strip of adhesive tape and folded up little bits of gauze along it, allowing his wife to snip off what she needed. Sales started out slow—perhaps because the original Band-Aids were 18 inches long. It was only when J&J started putting them into Boy Scout first-aid kits in the 1920s that the Band-Aid took off. (Ouch!)
A Stick
Inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame in 2008, the stick—declared the Strong National Museum of Play—"may be the world's oldest toy." But as George Carlin noted, "Kids don't have sticks anymore. I don't think there are any sticks left!" Have your kids go out and check. If they can't find a stick, the Toy Hall of Fame also inducted the ball and the cardboard box. Stock up!
FOR PARENTS
Free-Range Kids
The O.G. bible of how to let your kids go (and why, and why people don't anymore, and how that's driving them and their children crazy with anxiety). It's a fun read. It's reassuring. And it is, according to Amazon, the book that "became a national movement." (Did you know Amazon lets authors write their own descriptions?)
Ear Plugs
You send the kids outside and two minutes later you hear, "We're bored!", "We're cold!", "We can't find a stick!" But if you don't hear them, you don't have to open the door. And if you don't open the door, they'll stay outside and eventually find something to do. So you just have to ignore those first whines. This earplug brand, Eargasm, has a fan base on Reddit. And a great name.
A Life!
Do you remember what you used to do for fun? Read books, visit friends, play cards, make food, drink beer, watch shows, shoot hoops, take naps, write songs, paint by number? Whatever it was, you can do it again—often and for hours, once you recognize your kids can make their own fun while you make yours.
This article originally appeared in print under the headline "A Free-Range Family."
