Federally Funded Dad Jokes
Does America really need a National Strategic Dad Jokes Reserve?

"Did you hear the one about the world's greatest watch thief? He stole all the time."
But even that guy might be impressed by the sticky fingers of the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC), a tiny corner of the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) that managed to pilfer nearly $75 million in taxpayer money last year to maintain, among other things, an official government repository of "dad jokes."
It's funny—but not in a good way.
The agency's website is the source of the cringey joke above, along with other forehead-slappers such as "Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it," and "Have you seen the new type of broom? It's sweeping the nation."
In fairness, the National Strategic Dad Joke Reserve (not the real name, sadly) is just one of the NRFC's responsibilities. The agency's website offers a list of fun activities for fathers and kids to do together, along with more serious stuff such as public service announcements about the importance of being a good dad and access to mental health resources.
But the NRFC mostly stands as an example of how even well-intentioned government programs can become bloated and wasteful. It was created as part of the 2005 Deficit Reduction Act as a one-stop shop for various fatherhood-promoting grant programs administered by a variety of federal agencies. The Obama administration revamped the NRFC in 2010, turning it into "a multifaceted initiative to encourage fathers to become better parents" with a promise to "catalyze a new dialogue on fatherhood in local communities."
What has the NRFC accomplished? It's hard to say, and that's seemingly by design. A 2018 HHS study found that "very few rigorous evaluations" have tested the effectiveness of federally funded fatherhood programs. The study pointed out that "none of the evaluations we analyzed" focused on whether those programs produced better outcomes for children, even though improving those outcomes was "the primary rationale for father involvement programs."
There's nothing inherently wrong with trying to promote good fatherhood, but good intentions don't lead to effective spending—and the federal government is "comically ineffective at promoting behavioral change through social programs," says Romina Boccia, who highlighted the taxpayer-funded dad jokes in her Substack newsletter, The Debt Dispatch, earlier this year.
Even if you're a fan of dad jokes—or a practitioner of the art form yourself—this ought to seem like a tremendously silly way to spend tax dollars. That's especially true with the federal government running multitrillion-dollar annual deficits and sporting a national debt that exceeds $34.5 trillion, which is no laughing matter.
When it comes to the importance of cutting spending, we can only hope Congress takes a lesson from the "guy that stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone," in one of the jokes from the NRFC database.
You've heard that one, right? It finally dawned on him.
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I nominate Chumby to be director.
This one is for Chumby.
"It's not a dad bod; it's a father figure. Happy Father's Day!"
We need a goddamn like button.
Liked
"a multifaceted initiative to encourage fathers to become better parents"
Maybe if we just stopped denigrating fatherhood, the problem would fix itself.
One major problem is that after parents split up (nothing the child can do about that), most courts relegate the father to an every-other-weekend visitor. If you live in Ohio, tell your reps to support House Bill 14.
That's just one of the ways that the state treats fatherhood as unnecessary.
The State; “I’m your daddy now!”
Now the [Na]tional So[zi]alist ‘Guns’ are making better fathers?
Isn’t it amazing all the things those ‘Guns’ make.
Maybe it’s not really the ‘Guns’ making anything but poking them at people (enslavement).
Maybe their only human asset is to ensure Liberty and Justice for all.
I hear it's being phased out due to dei initiative. They are having trouble finding black fathers
"Does America really need a National Strategic Dad Jokes Reserve?"
Of course it does.
Otherwise, the US might run out of dad jokes.
No one wants that.
Biden would empty it, and you don't want him pulling jokes out of there.
Probably refill it with cheap Chinese knockoff jokes.
Dim sum, post-processed.
Here's a dad joke:
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
As many as they can get on the payroll.
By a Dad of five.
The agency's website offers a list of fun activities for fathers and kids to do together
Wow, that's kind of a thumb in the eye of the black kids, isn't it.
Wow, that’s kind of a thumb in the eye of the USA-born offspring of THAT THEM THAR ILLEGAL HUMANOIDS who have been deported to BACK WHERE THEY CUM FROM!!!!
Double down, now, and resolutely put on yer red-white-and-blue hate-hats!!!! HATE BONERS above all else, damn-shit-all!!!
We have to close the dad joke gap!
I can't find out where the $75mn number comes from, but Eric's "among other things" qualifier suggests that the dad joke thing uses up only some fraction of that amount. That $75mn pretty much amounts to rounding error in the 2025 FY budget of $1.8tn.
William Proxmire used to award Golden Fleece awards to stuff like this, and it's not hard to find all over the federal government. Remember all those $600 hammers and $3,000 toilets so beloved by the Pentagon and NASA? Jokes about these things are easy to find and dirt cheap to make.
What's not a joke and not at all funny is the amount of money we spend on the utterly dysfunctional DEA and Pentagon weapons systems that are obsolete before the first prototype rolls out. And don't get me started on the millions we spend to put up and support presidential libraries.
Or they could, save money and increase rates of fatherhood by not paying women more in welfare benefits to remain single.
" It was created as part of the 2005 Deficit Reduction Act as a one-stop shop for various fatherhood-promoting grant programs administered by a variety of federal agencies. "
Of course it was. What better to reduce the deficit than various fatherhood-promoting grant programs administered by a variety of federal agencies?