Brickbat: Loosie, You've Got Some Explaining to Do

The Canadian government will require an anti-smoking message to be printed on every individual cigarette. The requirement is expected to take effect in 2023. The exact message hasn't been decided, but Minister of Mental Health and Addictions Carolyn Bennett said the current proposal is "Poison in every puff."
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Of all the stupid (and occasionally evil) things that the federal Liberals are doing right now, this might be the least stupid. But it's still incredibly stupid.
Imagine thinking that this is going to do anything.
"Poison in your lungs; Mammary-Fuhrerism in your mind." Would there be enough room for all that in one ciggy?
Piss off, Shillsy. Go troll elsewhere.
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Not to mention what kind of ink, that would then be ingested, would be a safe choice for the printing?
Chtst.
Making the 'poison in every puff' motto literal truth in advertising.
Absolutely? None. Inhaling combustion products of pretty much any kind is bad. Relatively? Pretty much any color ink is can be made from vegetable oil and is going to be less a component of the combustion products than the paper.
It does seem like this would facilitate rolling paper manufacturers (roll your own links) to print "Fuck Justin Trudeau" paper though.
Brickbat: Loosie, You've Got Some Explaining to Do
That's " 'splaining, " not "Explaining." Oliver needs to watch more I Love Lucy to learn how Ricky Ricardo talked.
Come on, Ricky Ricardo doesn't #woke anymore. It's 2022.
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Where are the warning labels on creosote contaminated lumberjacks, tar sand publicists, and Newfie jokes?
Can we get a message printed on Democrats?
"I want your money and your rights"?
PLUS one on Rethuggies: "I want to steal democracy and replace it with a literal 1-party state, even though I can never come up with an example of a nation that attained long-term peace and prosperity with a 1-party state."
Well, China is fairly peaceful and prosperous. And who doesn't like a nice dose of paternalistic authoritarianism eh
Ask the Uighurs how much they enjoy their "peace and prosperity". Or the people of Hong Kong, or the Tibetans, or other ethnic minorities. (Or the people of surrounding nations, for that matter.)
The "peace" there doesn't look so long-term stable!
California has been a one-party system in practice for almost 20 years now, and they still blame the GOP every time their "progressive" governance accelerates the regression of the state.
Not to mention all the screaming about a "fascist power grab" against any attempt to create so much as a handful of competitive congressional districts anywhere in the state. The only two things that can take any CA incumbent out of office are term limits or death (and they've had to have more than a few "special" elections because of dead incumbents winning re-election before the state switched to a system that now often puts two Dems facing off in the general election for many offices (including US Senate a few years back).
In toxic ink.
Why not? Laboratory-use grain alcohol? It is "denatured" (poisoned) by Command of Government Almighty, to make SURE that no humans should drink it! Or else! Poisons from Government Almighty show just HOW MUCH Government Almighty LOVES us all!!!
Scienfoology Song… GAWD = Government Almighty’s Wrath Delivers
Government loves me, This I know,
For the Government tells me so,
Little ones to GAWD belong,
We are weak, but GAWD is strong!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
My Nannies tell me so!
GAWD does love me, yes indeed,
Keeps me safe, and gives me feed,
Shelters me from bad drugs and weed,
And gives me all that I might need!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
My Nannies tell me so!
DEA, CIA, KGB,
Our protectors, they will be,
FBI, TSA, and FDA,
With us, astride us, in every way!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
My Nannies tell me so!
I hope Bret Michaels sues.
"Every time you inhale, Justin Trudeau cries."
That is one way to increase smoking.
Enjoy sexy contacts with fine ladies in EU only at sex in luzern
How about "It's really our body and not your choice?"
Progressives: Taking the joy out of life one step at a time.
Instead of "poison in every puff", how about:
Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
You gotta have another cigarette
As the only non smoker in a group of smoking friends, for many years I found this song prescient.
At a pettin' party or a poker game, everything's got to stop while you have a cigarette.
For kids, "poison in every puff" is an enticement. And why would the adults worry when they are so much more likely to die from the health conditions brought on by the consumption of poutine.
In my long ago teens, I knew kids that would be attracted by such a message - just don't call them my friends. If that's an enticement for someone, the sooner they remove themselves from the gene pool, the better. I suggest the legislation also encourage a second class of cigarettes marked with "More Poison", and formulated so those who choose to smoke them regularly are going to die of something else long before cancer can appear.
Poisoned by every vote. Hey! Canada, wake the fuck up.
Makes sense, Puff is a magic dragon and quite likely related to poison dart frogs