Drink

Liquid Death

Why merely quench your thirst when you could murder it instead?

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Right now at my local grocery, a 12-pack of store-brand bottled waters retails for $2.49. But why merely quench your thirst when you could murder it? That's the selling proposition behind Liquid Death, a 3-year-old startup offering the same quantity of spring water, but marketed like a beer and packaged in "tallboy" aluminum cans, for $19.99 on Amazon.

That such a product exists is a sure sign of the extravagant affluence produced by modern capitalism. Thousands of people have happily agreed to a 700 percent markup in exchange for a funny ad campaign, and founder Mike Cessario—a former Netflix creative director—has raised more than $30 million in capital for the project.

It sounds like a ripoff, but Liquid Death has garnered 4.6 stars out of 5 thanks to a legion of customers who are in on the joke.

NEXT: Brickbat: Giving the Respect It Deserves

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  3. Never over estimate the intelligence of the American consumer.

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  4. In another time and place, some people might have referred to this as “decadence” and warned that this was a sign of something ominous for our civilization. Maybe even pointing out that throwing away a 20-dollar bill on a “joke” was a slap in the face for the millions of people scraping together their spare change for a box of macaroni and cheese for their dinner.

  5. Is it dumber than a pet rock? Or a chia pet? People just have to do stupid stuff.

    1. It’s on par with Dehydrated Water.

      1. Your link is broken. Were you trying to link to this?

        1. Yes, yes I was.

  6. This article is presumably a troll designed to lure the moralizing shitweasels to the comment section.

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  8. One of my favorite drinks is a soda called Zombie Brain Juice made by Averys. They make other drinks with funny names as well.

  9. I am cool with it because AOC hates it. To my knowledge she has made no comment on overpriced water but I know she would hate it. Some business guy (probably white) making money on something that should be free like everything else.

  10. Bunch of bros sell canned water at 700% markup to other funsters in on the joke.

    Elsewhere on the web, true-believing mystics sell healing crystals at 700% markup to future cat ladies, who never joke about stuff.

    Who would you rather hang out with?

  11. I’ve downed an entire case and still don’t have a buzz yet. Also, rekt my bladder.

  12. It’s no Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator.

  13. “No one has ever gone broke underestimating the taste of the American public”

  14. Thousands of people have happily agreed to a 700 percent markup

    That is merely compared with the already ridiculous and wasteful bottled water. For on-tap water instantly available 24/7 from at least 6 taps within my home, I pay about $2 per 100 cubic feet of water, or about 1/2 cent per 16 ounces.
    Disposable water bottles are a blight of 1st world laziness, and unwillingness to spare even the slightest inconvenience.

  15. “That such a product exists is a sure sign of the extravagant affluence produced by modern capitalism. Thousands of people have happily agreed to a 700 percent markup in exchange for a funny ad campaign, and founder Mike Cessario—a former Netflix creative director—has raised more than $30 million in capital for the project.”

    What “modern capitalism?” This is some canned, liquid Gee-Jaw for Hipsters spending their stimulus checks.

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