Brickbats

Brickbat: The Best Laid Plans

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Earlier this spring, officials at the Eastern Iowa Airport in Cedar Rapids came up with a plan to screen passengers for the coronavirus. They are still waiting on the Federal Aviation Administration to either approve or reject their plan. The plan would work similar to how some health facilities screen people before they enter by taking their temperature and asking them a short series of questions before they could board a plane. The airport would fund its implementation of the plan with $800,000 of the $23 million in CARES Act funding it received. But because the FAA controls such airport spending, the program has been in limbo for months waiting for a decision by the feds.

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  1. Answer me, these questions three, what is your name? Your quest? Your…

    1. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen 737?

      1. At cruising altitude or on approach for landing?

        1. Or when the MCAS system puts the plane into a nose dive?

          1. Cold. Very cold. I like.

            CB

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      2. 737 max?

        Approximately 0 mph.

        1. It’s just resting. Pining for the Seattle fjords.

      3. 0 knots… If it’s a 737 max 8

      4. An African 737 or a European 737?

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    4. How many walkers have you killed?
      How many people have you killed?
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  3. Good thing the feds dragged their feet, too. The Rona’s gonna be over soon if Trump would get around to conceding. The airport saved a lot of money.

    1. I protect myself by protesting as I travel.

      1. Peacefully?

        1. mostly

    2. funny thing is even if Covid disappeared tomorrow the government would still spend that money. they never give a refund

      1. The local government is practically begging people to come up with ways to spend that money. They’re afraid that if they don’t spend it all, they won’t get any more.

  4. “We would have started the FAA conversation much earlier if we’d anticipated the time it’s been taking,” Lenss said.
    the speed of bureaucracy

  5. This is of course Trump’s fault. Due to his permanent state of confusion and chaos and uncertainty caused by his ever-changing demands, his firings and his failure to appoint permanent directors, nobody knows who all is in charge of what at the FAA. You need to have a clear view of the chain of command in order to get the delicate balance of the 17 necessary approvals for the plan while maintaining the plausible deniability of each of the 17 people involved for responsibility for the plan. You can’t have like one guy responsible for approving the plan, otherwise everybody knows just who to blame when the plan turns out to be a major disaster. No, you need at least 17 people involved in making the decision, in a proper mix of deputy chief assistants, assistant chief deputies, chief assistant deputies, and chief deputy assistants so that no one person can be held responsible for the disaster. And Trump keep the FAA settled enough so that everybody knows who is who.

    1. *Trump won’t keep the FAA settled enough…

    2. Not to worry. Once the Harris administration rolls out the new Air Travel Equity program, security clearance, and even right to fly, will be based on grievance status–and that will change daily.

  6. I suppose this explains the surge in demand for rectal thermometers.

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  8. I heard the auditoriums will be doing temperature screenings of concertgoers for the upcoming Foreigner reunion tour. So if you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see!

    1. Got a fever of 103!

    2. They’ll still let you in if you do more than dance though.

  9. can anyone explain why some handheld temperature scanners would cost $800k?

    1. I think it’s the personnel whose job it’d be to administer the screening.

      1. And a manager for the personnel administering the screening. And someone to do some paperwork related to the screening. And …

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    2. 29.99 each at Amazon.

  10. So Reason approves of this plan?

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  12. This reminds me of when a company I worked for was building an addition. Because the property straddled the imaginary Eastern Continental Divide the company had to get EPA approval. We asked the agent how long to get approval and he replied six months. We asked how could we speed it up. He replied that we could go to his supervisor but if we did it would take another six weeks. Power seeking bureaucrats are never in a hurry. They only want you to hurry.

  13. They didn’t want your rain water diverted to the wrong ocean?

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  15. 800K? Asking a few questions is free. An infrared thermometer is under 100 bucks. It’s a small airport.

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