Brickbats

Brickbat: Say No More, Say No More

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Some British couples who do not live together won't be allowed to have sex or even sleep over at each other's homes under new restrictions that recently went into force to reduce the spread of coronavirus. Couples who live in "high risk" Tier 2 areas who do not live together and aren't part of a support bubble can meet only outdoors and must maintain a distance of six feet. A support bubble is a household of one person and a second household of any size. A person can be a member of only one support bubble. Those who live in Tier 2 areas are also barred from traveling to lower-risk Tier 1 areas to socialize indoors.

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  1. The Brits have always been weird about sex, Just look at the royals.

    1. We’re British, no sex for us.

      1. Every sperm is sacred.

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    2. “Blimey!”

    3. The royals are Germans.

      1. House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha until they changed the name in 1917.

        1. Why would they do that?

          lol

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  2. This should make for some interesting porn. I imagine there will be a lot of broom handles involved.

    1. Go on.

      1. “I WOULD touch you (and myself) with a ten-foot pole.”
        —new British pickup line

        1. This gives an entirely new meaning to “pole dancing”!

        2. “Your support bubble or mine?”

        3. “Hey baby, what’s it gonna take to get into your tier 2 zone?”

        4. “Bring your three friends along so we can stay separated by at least 6 feet.”

          1. NB: Imperial units FTW!

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  4. Rumor has it at one time Brits branched out around the globe spreading new diseases to natives and then colonizing them. Now they can’t venture out their front doors.

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      1. Make money by spreading diseases to native populations? No thank you, you Colonialist piece of shot!

    2. It was never _all_ the Brits that would go around the globe spreading (and catching) new diseases and colonizing. Less than half of those ever came back, nor did the ones that were sentenced to transportation to the colonies for crimes. After many generations of that, and the two 20th Century wars that each killed half a generation, the ones left in formerly Great Britain are nearly all the descendants of those who were too timid to leave, too well-behaved to be transported, and who avoided becoming dead war heroes. And it shows…

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  6. You can’t even just lie back and think of England.

    1. But can you have a Union Jack?

      1. To quote the great philosopher stevo from slc punk “union jack is a fag”

    2. Considering how many children Victoria and Albert had, I’ve wondered if we’re interpreting that wrong. Did thinking of England give Queen Vickie orgasms?

  7. Hey darlin’, can I buy ya a drink?
    Lookin’ for mister goodbar? here he is
    Wait a minute, I’ve got it, you’re an italian!
    Hah?
    Yer Jewish?
    Love your nails, you must be a libra
    Your place or mine?
    Fuck that, your in a Tier 2 zone.

  8. support bubble

    Nice band name.

    1. Yea, right up there with ‘Imagine Dragons’.

  9. Coming to America, if Biden wins and two guys in white coats say so.

    1. Nursing home orderlies?

      1. “Check out the name tag. You’re in my world now grandma!”

    2. Yes, but the two guys will be Top. Scientists.

  10. A support bubble is a household of one person and *a second household of any size.*

    So, clearly no programmers, systems analysts, or even anyone with a vague familiarity with graph theory among the entirety of the legislative body.

    1. Kindof sucks for a family that has both grandparents still alive

      1. Just put them in the same nursing home, duh.

      2. Both? Most of us are entitled to four.

        1. West Virginia?

        2. Most of us are entitled to four.

          Entitled? White, cis-het privilege if I ever heard it.

        3. Thanks to divorces, remarriages, and adoptions, I had six grandparents – or seven if you count my maternal grandfather’s secretary, whom he got pregnant and married when he was in his 60’s. But only two grandparents would be illegal even in West Virginia…

    2. What is the shortest path to sex? It is a problem that has challenged young males throughout history.

  11. The article doesn’t mention it, but will fergason still be able to go to his mistresses place?

    1. Rules are for little people, so yes.

    2. Professor Neil Ferguson doesn’t live in some shithole tier 2 area.

  12. Given that nobody in the UK has any balls, the prohibition of sex is no big deal.

  13. So Covid makes government making decisions about your sex life acceptable?

    1. Remember the HIV travel ban?

      “The number of AIDS-related deaths worldwide is steadily decreasing from a peak of 2.2 million in 2005 to an estimated 1.8 million in 2010.”

      “Since 31 December 2019 and as of 23 October 2020, 41 771 932 cases of COVID-19 (in accordance with the applied case definitions and testing strategies in the affected countries) have been reported, including 1 138 780 deaths.”

      HIV killed almost 4X the number of people *last year* that COVID will kill this year, but COVID is empirically the bigger threat.

      1. There is a slight difference in how the two diseases are transmitted.

        1. Downing Street disagrees.

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  14. So I’ve essentially broken the world down into two types of people:

    1. People don’t do as [“we” believe] they should, and for the most part cannot be trusted to make important decisions on their own. There need to be rules, and they have to be made to follow them.

    2. The rest of us.

    1. “Political tags — such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth — are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort.”
      -Robert Heinlein

      1. “The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.”

        QFMFT.

      2. I’d be interested to know how Heinlein came to believe that they’re lacking in altruism. Acknowledging that infectious diseases and people are the two most likely causes of death throughout human history isn’t exactly egoistic. Wishing or working to provide everyone their own separate islands of peace, joy, and tranquility isn’t exactly non- or anti-altruistic.

        1. Generally altruism means helping people with someone else’s money.

      3. Reminds me of when I moved and a coworker asked if it was to a “nice liberal neighborhood”? My response caused her to shut her mouth for a moment: “No, nice people”.

        (Disclaimer, I’ve been reading Heinlein since I was about 10, and the above quote ranks high in my personal understanding of the world.)

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  18. Nothing on Earth has ever stopped humans from having sex. I doubt the government’s regulations will either. It should make for some interesting arrests, investigations and trials though!!!

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