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An Orange County, Florida, father wants to know why his son had to take off a Hooters-themed face mask at school. Greg Golba says his son Ian, a fifth-grader at Sunset Park Elementary School, had been wearing the mask for weeks before it became a problem. Ian says he asked the principal three times why he had to take it off and was told only that he had to remove it. So a local TV station asked the school system what was wrong with the mask, which simply had the name of the restaurant on it. The school system answered that the dress code says, "The principal at each school reserves the right to determine what appropriate dress is for the school."

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  1. So the rules are what ever the principal says at any moment? Utterly ridicules .

    1. Missed opportunity to say “udderly”: 2/10, please turn in your internet humor license for re-evaluation.

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        1. The kid’s gonna show up tomorrow with a mask that says Pink Tips on it.

    2. As far as sexual and drug themed messages, that’s always been the case since my elementary days, and I dare say long before that, in any place that didn’t ban logos and messages altogether

      1. If the policy violation were that simple, the teacher would have been able to immediately explain it to the student. And even if the teacher felt uncomfortable, the principal would have been able to articulate that easily. The fact that neither could suggests that the school has no such policy. (Okay, they may have a no-drug-themes policy but that doesn’t apply to this scenario.)

  2. Fuck you, that’s why.

  3. As the old saying goes:

    Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah;
    Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian church;
    and Baptists don’t recognize each other at Hooters.

    1. I heard it about the liquor store, but close enough.

      Anyway, a priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a Hooters, and the rabbit say, “Hey, I think I’m a typo!”

      1. When you make a typo, the errorists win.

  4. A kid not allowed to wear a fucking Hooters mask at an elementary school doesn’t exactly seem like creeping fascism to me.

    From the article Dad sounds like a flake.

    1. If it was the first time the kid had done it, I’d say the dad was trying to start something with the school, but if the kid had really been doing it for weeks, it sounds like the kid was just going through a phase of being attached to a random style/object and the parents are just happy its not the word “fuck”.

    2. Upholding an arbitrary dress code is more important than preventing the spread of coronavirus, which is the very reason the kids are wearing masks in the first place?

      It may not be creeping fascism but it is authoritarian, Vernon Wormer-style Counterproductive abuse of power.

    3. Yeah, Dad is a karen, but the principle is still a dick.

      1. Has Dad called the police on the principal? Has Dad demanded to speak to the manager? Has Dad done anything even vaguely unreasonable in response to a nonsensical demand from the authoritarians with power over his children?

        The Dad may be many things but there’s no evidence so far that the Dad is a karen.

      2. Actually, I would say the true Karens are the fucking school, having feinting spells over a kid wearing the name/logo of an overrated chain restaurant on his mask. Not sure it gets much more Karen than that.

    4. Or maybe the dad is allowing his kid to wear the mask as a form of protest over the schools stupid mask policies. And thus it is a matter of political speech. No matter what the reason is the school’s principle is a fucking Karen and authoritarian asshat.

  5. The principal at each school reserves the right to determine what appropriate dress is for the school.

    Funny how that discretion is nowhere to be found when kids with butter knives or Pop Tart guns run up against zero tolerance policies.

    1. More realistically, you do not hear about the principals who offer leniency toward the students who make Pop Tart guns.

      1. Is that really “leniency” though? I mean, I get your point that common sense isn’t news and most kids who point their fingers at each other and say “bang” aren’t hauled off in handcuffs, but if that’s “leniency” it’s still a problem, no?

        1. You are right. I think the way I would say it is that the rules themselves are not leniency, but the principal who overlooks the rules, recognizing that the punishment would be disproportionate to the action, is displaying a one-time act of leniency.

  6. “The principal at each school reserves the right to determine what appropriate dress is for the school.”
    So he can decree that all the females (real or imagined) have to wear handmaid’s tale outfits? Somehow I doubt it.

    1. So he can decree that all the females (real or imagined) have to wear handmaid’s tale outfits? Somehow I doubt it.

      Actually if he claims he’s doing it to symbolize the “oppression” that the girls face growing up in “Drumph’s AmeriKKKa” with a 6-3 conservative advantage on the SCOTUS or some such bullshit, then he probably could do it and not only get away with it but be praised for being so “stunning and brave.”

  7. The Orange County fifth-grader says his teacher at Sunset Park Elementary School in Windermere said something about it.

    “I wore it and she said it was not appropriate for school and I asked her why and she said if you really want to know why go ask the principal,” Ian Golba said.

    It was a white kid wearing the mask so it’s obviously racist. Did I guess the reason correctly?

    1. It was a white kid wearing the mask so it’s obviously racist. Did I guess the reason correctly?

      First, on a road trip Mrs. Casual was relaying the factoid about subliminal advertising to the kids by pointing out the ‘arrow’ formed by the FedEx script. Moments later, we went by a Hooters billboard and I uttered, “And, sometimes, it’s not so subliminal.” to her. She replied “Whaddya mean?” Apparently she hadn’t gotten the message.

      Along similar lines, did a woman just foist the task for explaining the inappropriateness of the mask off onto the patriarchy? Even the explicitly traditionalist/non-feminist women of my youth wouldn’t have shyed away from explaining how it objectified women and/or conveyed a crude message inappropriate for a public setting. Moreover, if such a woman brought an issue before a man, unless the picture were an overt depiction of a naked woman, both the teacher and the student would’ve gotten separate “WTF are you bothering *me* with this crap?” lecture.

  8. Get a mask from the Winghouse then.

  9. So lets get this straight COVID-19 is killing millions of Americans a day but this school is more concerned about the wording of this brave young heroes mask. For shame, Orange County, for shame.

  10. Sounds like a real classy dad. He probably brings binoculars to the high school football games to ogle the cheerleaders.

    1. Isn’t that why the cheerleaders are there?

      1. Unfortunately yes. It is really… [Ace Ventura voice] a disgusting custom.

    2. His dad isn’t responsible for cheerleader skirts being shorter than the year before.

  11. He is tacky, yet unrefined.m

  12. How about a mask with the words “Death to Tyrants”? It can be a history lesson, or something.

    1. “Sic semper tyrannis” would work too.

      1. And the principal probably wouldn’t get it.

        1. Something about dinosaurs?

          1. If he thought it was referring to Tyrannis Morrisette, it would be ironic.

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  13. This is the breast article on Reason.

    1. Charles Oliver certainly put his massive pens to good use on this one.

      1. 1, 3, 5, 4, 6, 2, 7

        Gillespie would have found a crisper picture.

  14. So after months of “wear a mask or you’re all gonna die” propagandizing they make this kid take off his mask thereby exposing him to the plague and near certain death (if their propaganda is to be taken at face value). Sounds legit.

    1. No, no, no… see, the mask doesn’t protect the wearer, the mask protects everyone else from the wearer (even though there is no proof the wearer is infected). #doyourpart #inthistogether #donyourcape

      So, after months of propaganda, they’re forcing him to take his mask off and expose others to certain death. In other words, they’re trying to make a murderer out of him.

  15. Away from the South we think of Hooters as a sexist restaurant specializing in large breasted waitresses in tight t-shirts (and the obligatory gay dude waiter in tight shorts). But the truth of the matter is that in the South, Hooters is a family restaurant. No seriously! Jeff Foxworthy jokes about it, but it’s true. Hooters is a family restaurant every bit as much as Cracker Barrel or Waffle House. Okay, the latter isn’t a family restaurant, as only grammas and grandpas go there. But still.

    A mask with the name Hooters on it is not inappropriate at a Southern school.

    1. In Germany a.k.a. ‘The Alabama Of Europe’ there’s a two-week long international holiday where the traditional dress for women pushes their breasts up while simultaneously cutting th top of the dress almost as low as possible. It’s been a cultural tradition attended by men, women, and children alike for almost 2 centuries.

      I mean, really, Hooters is more of a summer beer ‘n cleavage fashion. St. Pauli GIrl or Hoffbrau is really more appropriate for fall.

    2. Even away from the South, there are now at least a dozen different chains with similar themes, enough that they’ve garnered there own category name, breastaurants.

      I can think of at least two different chains off the top of my head, Twin Peaks and The Tilted Kilt.

    3. This might be a regional thing, but where I live, Waffle House might be a “family” restaurant in the morning, but at night, it’s a hang-out for thugs and gangsters. “Shooting at Waffle House” is a perennial headline.

    4. Where are getting this “knowledge”. I grew up in the south. I live in kind of the south (Texas). First, it isn’t a family restaurant like Craker Barrel, but yes some families go there. They use to have a great trivia night so my brother and I would go with our Dad. We always took wings home to my mom because she liked their wings. Second, Waffle House really is a family place. Only the snobbiest of snobs don’t eat at Waffle House. I grew up eating there. My kids love eating there.
      The mask is still appropriate, but not because of your reasons.
      It is appropriate because the whole point RGB fought for is that women don’t need to be protected by men. So if a woman wants to work at Hooters and make good money doing it then she has every right to do it. So really the kid was wearing it in support of RGB and nothing supporting her can be wrong. (That last sentance might have been sarcastic, but only the last.)

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  17. gotta be a Twin Peaks nearby he can get a mask from.

  18. Imagine the uproar if the mask said “Chik-Fil-A”.

  19. Are we sure the issue isn’t that he wore his mom’s Hooters mask to school?

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  21. If I was the dad, I would find my son a mask from a local well known strip club and have him wear that. Because my answer to assholes is to goad them more.

    1. Better yet, a less well known one and see how long before the principal realized what it is.

      1. I remember kids in my school wearing the suggestive T-Shirt of the Great Alaska Bush Company. It took the administration quite awhile (and our principal used to live in Alaska so not sure he wasn’t aware of what it was but he was extremely non-confrontational) to realize what the shirt actually depicted.

      2. Better yet, a less well known one and see how long before the principal realized what it is.

        And then, when called out on it, turn the tables. Claim the mask was bought at a gentleman’s clothing company owned by your brother’s sister’s aunt twice removed and then ask the principal how eactly he came to be familiar with this den of depravity.

    2. >>my answer to assholes is to goad them more.

      without fail.

    3. Or get a mask from the Big Mule Fan company (name modified for posting, but you can guess). They specialize in 20-30 foot fans for factories, but their memorabilia is in high demand at HVAC conventions for some reason

      1. Ass is a perfectly acceptable name for a donkey (jack ass is the proper alternative for a mule if it is male, ginny ass if it is female). It is like bitch, which is the proper term for a female, fully intact female dog.

        1. Although most just refer to female mules as a ginny.

          1. My mistake ginny should be Jenny.

            1. That’s female donkeys, not mules.

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