Brickbats

Brickbat: Who Was That Masked Man?

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The Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources has told employees they must wear masks while taking part in virtual meetings from home. Agency officials say that members of the public may be watching, and agency employees have a duty to set an example showing they "care about the safety and health of others." Gov. Tony Evers has mandated that masks be worn in indoor public spaces but not in private residences.

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  1. I’m really being to think there is some sinister intention with the masks.

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    2. Sinister. Because they want the virus dead. So violent.

      1. If a pre-embryonic lump of cells isn’t alive, then a virus certainly isn’t alive.

        1. And they don’t die off.

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    3. Everyone should wear Guy Fawkes masks in public, just as long as they filter particulate out of your breath.

  2. 2020 is the year parodies died.

    1. 2,200,001

      1. Sorry, parody died in 1990, but ala Weekend at Bernies, no one noticed until 2001.

  3. With an abundance of caution I also wear a bike helmet, gloves, and a condom.

    1. So it really is just street theatre, even at home?

      1. I was once the first to arrive at a motorcycle accident. No helmet. It was not street theater, it was real. Wear your fucking helmet.

        If you don’t want to wear a condom and be subjected to countless paternity suits, that’s your business. But don’t make me sweep your fucking brains and skull bits off the street.

        1. I think you’re missing BigT’s point. By a lot.

          Regardless, not wearing a helmet while motorcycling is a self-correcting problem. Get over yourself.

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        2. I was once the first to arrive at a motorcycle accident.

          You were the first to arrive *after* the accident. And, assuming someone called you, not necessarily even that.

        3. Yes, but I think BigT meant while he was sitting at his computer.

      2. We should hold gloved hands across America.

    2. steel-toe boots, knee and elbow pads, goggles, ear muffs, …

      1. Flame retardant clothing ad well. And level 4 body armor.

        1. You can’t be too careful.

          1. Never know when the FedEx delivery guy/girl may be wearing an S-Vest.

    3. A condom and no cup? What kind of raving lunatic are you?

  4. I got a seat belt for the office chair.

  5. Does Zoom have enough life preservers for everyone on board?

  6. Look, when you can’t do anything substantive, you gotta go for the symbolic. Politicians, for example, are symbolic of our government, which is actually made up of unelected and unaccountable bureaucrats. This is why you have Bill Deblasio painting “Black Lives Matter” on the street and crowing about what a great thing it was that he did, because as mayor of New York City there’s fuck-all he can actually do as far as addressing any problems in the city.

    1. Spot-on analysis.

    2. I have long thought about the benefits of creating a deliberately symbolic government, to give something that the average people can get all excited about but without any real power. Since most people view politics (and just about everything else) as theater and tribal signaling, we could easily get them distracted with reality TV style flare and shenanigans. And in this system, people would have one vote to use in either the prom queen-dancing with the stars-kardashian shout fest, or in the deliberately boring elections for real government.

    3. as mayor of New York City there’s fuck-all he can actually do as far as addressing any problems in the city.

      Wrong. He can, and does, make them worse!

  7. There is taking reasonable precautions, and then there is just plain stupidity in virtue signaling.

    This is the latter.

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      1. If you wear a mask, you are not really naked – – – – – –

        1. It may count in some middle east countries.

          1. I’ve noticed there is a new (in the US been a thing for a long time in Japan) of porn where the subject is wearing nothing but a mask.

            1. N95? Kabuki? Leather? Lucha Libre? You’re really going to have to be more specific than just ‘a mask’.

              1. Usually cheap, disposable paper masks from my “research”.

                1. The Japanese seem to prefer white cloth masks. Again just from my *ahem* research.

  8. It’s because they are tyrants

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  10. Never go full retard

  11. Solution: disable the camera on the computer. Just say it’s broken. Given this is government the odds some IT nerd will attempt to fix it is near zero.

  12. Would the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources be down with everyone wearing masks, but nothing else?

    1. They wouldn’t be able to ID anybody, would they?

      1. Well, I guess they could still wear their government-issued ID tags. It might require piercing a lot of nipples or noses, however.

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  14. Just when you think a government agency couldn’t get any dumber along comes an even dumber policy.

    Who was that said: Never underestimate the stupidity of bureaucrats?

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  16. We had our school opening on Wednesday. The night before we were told our kids would have to wear masks. Several of us father every school year, on private property near the school, to hold a prayer before school starts on the first day. As we were waiting for everyone to gather we were discussing the school’s mask mandate. The minister admitted masks were not very effective and getting young kids to wear them was going to be problematic “but it will be better if parents modeled good behavior (by wearing masks)”. I wanted to tell her that I am modeling the behavior I want my kids to do, be skeptical and make your own decisions.

  17. This is a really good step. Everyone should use mask in this pandemic situation.

    1. Not true.

    2. At home? With no one else around?

  18. Department of Natural Resources

    The DNR part is really the icing on the cake for this one too. Not the DMV or DCFS or Housing Authority or whatever, the one branch of the government where, ideally, 100% of the employees spend 100% of their time outside, social distancing.

    1. The DNR is in charge of hunting and fishing laws. Why are they working from home instead of outside checking hunting and fishing licenses? (Sarcasm).

      1. They have back office admin personnel too.

        1. That never answer the fucking phone when you call or have no idea how the regulations actually work if they are anything like IDFG or MFWP.

          1. I renew my license online and it gets processed faster than anyone could possibly do manually.
            *Looks around*
            How many people have to be in the DNR’s offices to make to make sure the servers are up? I can’t remember the last time I answered the phone at my desk.

            1. I usually just buy mine at the local hardware store because they get $0.50 cents for every license sold, so I support a local business and last time I tried to create an account on the Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks website it kept locking up and I said fuck it I’ll go to the hardware store (and I can pick up bait while I’m there too).

  19. Why are they wasting bandwidth with video for conferencing?

    1. Did you miss the whole point here? To make sure they’re wearing the mask.

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