Brickbat: Choose One


Illinois boaters are baffled and upset by an order that doesn't allow more than two people in a boat on the water, even if those people are family members who live together. It's one of a number of social distancing rules enacted by Gov. Jay Pritzker to reduce the spread of the coronavirus. "You can't have five people or 10 people in a boat—and that—it is restricted to two but not necessarily restricted to whether they're related to one another," Pritzker said. And no more than two people may be in a boat even if it is large enough for them all to remain 6 feet apart.

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  1. What if a boat requires a crew of more than two?

    1. Then it’s probably a ship, not a boat.

  2. Gotta love all these blanket rules these governors are coming up with. Goes to show how power hungry they are. And the lack of intelligence most of them have. They don’t think anything thru. It’s like unintended consequences don’t exist. They are what we always thought they were.

    1. ALL politicians have the same attitude as Pharaoh — “So let it be written, so let it be done” — passing a law solves whatever problem it addressed, regardless of how well a law is written or enforced.

    2. Petty tyrants gotta get their hall monitor on. It’s like, a compulsion.

  3. He’s trying to race Whitmer to see who gets physically thrown out first, huh?

    1. Nobody is physically throwing him anywhere….. without a crane at least

  4. Arbitrary, nonsensical and counter-intuitive rules keep the virus guessing.

    1. Good one! Keep the viruses on their toes, never knowing WHAT will come at them next!

      I propose that next, by law, males can only sneeze on even-numbered days, females can only sneeze on odd-numbered days, and THAT, too, will fuck pretty badly with these dastardly viruses!

      1. Is that based on gender identity or genetic sex?

        1. It must remain fluid or the virus wins.

  5. The wait for ferries just got longer.

  6. Next up. Masturbation ban.

    1. Over my dead body… the ban, not the masturbating… though I’d be dead, so I guess it wouldn’t matter?

    2. “It is *not* a ban. We’re simply requiring the use of Purell as lube.”

    3. From my cold, dead hands.

    4. I don’t mean to side with any authoritarians but you really should’ve chosen the one member of your household that you’re allowed to masturbate with before the pandemic.

  7. Gov. Jay Pritzker (D).

    Why is anyone surprised?

  8. You have to wonder if maybe they aren’t trying to cause massive civil disobedience that will give them the reason they need to order marshal law?

    1. They may go past that and declare Martian Law. Sir Phobos beat some ass.

  9. These F-ing governors are waving major power boners. It’s past time for voters/citizens to break out the snippers.

    1. I knew an astrologer who liked it because it had all the trappings of being an engineer — books full of tables and equations, data to gather, arcane adjustments (wartime double summer time zones), things to calculate, spiffy programs with impressively precise results — but she admitted she could give a better reading face to face with someone she had just met than with all the best birth data possible. IOW, she knew it was a fraud, but she liked the trappings.

      I believe politicians are the same. They are jealous of business people. They see big companies, massive profits, all those employees under one’s control, and they want the same, along with the results — products, press conferences, shareholder meetings, mergers and acquisitions, deals, stock options … But politicians have little real world experience with businesses, whether as an employee or an employer, so they rely on Hollywood. And all they see is arrogant assholes barking orders — “Get me that report YESTERDAY!” — “Tell Jones to GET UP HERE NOW or find another job!” — and they absolutely do not see the unseen hard work, conferences, late nights and early mornings, the paperwork, the bureaucrats to fend off, the lawyers.

      IOW, these governors are trying to ape Hollywood business people by barking orders without any concern for effectiveness, validity, the law, the Constitutions, anything.

      1. Tommy Lee Jonesitis.

  10. It’s one of a number of social distancing rules enacted by Gov. Jay Pritzker

    More like Jay PRICK-zer, amiright? People with such easily mockable names shouldn’t do things that make them seem like the things their names kind of sound like.

  11. Are you still permitted to transport your entire gun collection by boat?

  12. Only two people per boat. Battleships and Cruisers hardest hit.

    1. No no no — only subs are “boats”. Battleships and Cruisers are “ships” and not covered.

      1. but ferries are considered boats, as are superyachts.

  13. the mom.

    1. Yup.

  14. What a great way to prod families to buy more boats!

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