Brickbats

Brickbat: Cruel Cut

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Jason Kirkbride's hair is neat, tidy and short. Too short for Hodgson Academy in England, according to his mother. She says she decided to get the boy's hair cut a little shorter, so he could go longer between visits to the barber. She got the boy's hair cut with No. 1 clippers. But school rules say hair should be no shorter than a No. 2. So he got three days detention, she said. School officials refused to comment on the matter.

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  1. Well, obviously, skinheads are not welcome.
    /looks at picture
    Oh, the white supremacist hair cut – only buzzcut on the sides, regular length up top. Might as well be wearing a MAGA hat and a white sheet. Or parachute pants, as well-known white supremacist MC Hammer sported along with that haircut circa 1990.

    1. They tried to give Hammer a haircut. He said: “Don’t touch this!”

    2. “Oh, the white supremacist hair cut — only buzzcut on the sides, regular length up top.”

      Add a pair of glasses and possibly some facial hair, and you have the hipster hair cut!

      Wonder if the boy also wears plaid or patterned shirts and pants that are rolled an inch or two at the ankles.

    3. buzzcut on the sides

      It’s called a fade, you heathen. And my girlfriend, who happens to be black, would be really surprised if this haircut indicated white supremacy. Also, I think we’d all be surprised to find out that Patrick Mahomes is a white supremacist too.

      I know you’re making fun of the people that look to haircuts to determine people’s morality and ideological bent. People are so fucking stupid it hurts.

      1. Not to mention how comfortable it is during the summer. Easier to take care of too. Not too bad in the winter actually either, so long as you don’t mind wearing a stocking cap every time you take the dog out to pee.

  2. A school in Lancashire, UK requires uniforms and has a grooming standard. A student failed to comply with the grooming standard and was disciplined. There was no coercion or fraud as far as I can see — beyond that fact that the school is funded by forcefully expropriated wealth. (Nick Gillespie told me I can’t say “taxation is theft” any more.)

    So, what’s the problem?

    1. Good thing you didn’t say “taxation is theft”. No one wants to read about how “taxation is theft”. Or talk about how “taxation is theft”. It’s not like “taxation is theft”, right?

    2. Are libertarians only concerned with coercion or fraud this week? I thought government overreach was still on the menu?

    3. Taxation is not theft. Taxation is extortion.

        1. Nice barber shop you have here…

  3. That school is in the pocket of Big Barber.

  4. So I guess in the three days detention his hair grew from one to two?

    How does this brickbat?
    Was the family forced by a government entity to use that school? Was the mother illiterate and did not know the rules she agreed to? Could not her son have read them to her? Was not the son there to tell the barber the agreed upon rules?
    Too many unanswered question before coffee.

    1. She wasn’t conforming. Duh. Students all have to look identical to other students. Hair one millimeter too short is not conforming. And non conforming must be punished.

      But most likely she just didn’t know the rules. Probably the detail about the clipper size was not even published (fucktards probably made it up on the spot). Or if it was published then it was on page twenty four of the rulezbook, as an addendum to the regulations on eyebrow threading (eyebrows must be tweezed, never threaded).

      1. In 6 point type (at best).

  5. Creative kids who want to skip 3 days worth of school will now buzz-cut themselves! They are teaching creative thinking (how to manipulate the system) to school-jakers!

    Bravo!

    1. You have shit in your teeth Mary, you sad fucking slaver.

  6. They gave me that exact kind of buzz-cut when I joined the US military, and I didn’t get no stinkin’ 3 days off, for it! Kids are soft and spoiled, these days!!!

    1. Lolol Mary you sad lying shit breathed fuck.

      1. “Dear Abby” is a personal friend of mine. She gets some VERY strange letters! For my amusement, she forwards some of them to me from time to time. Here is a relevant one:

        Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
        My life is a mess,
        Even Bill Clinton won’t stain my dress,
        I whinny seductively for the horses,
        They tell me my picnic is short a few courses,
        My real name is Mary Stack,
        NO ONE wants my hairy crack!
        On disability, I live all alone,
        Spend desperate nights by the phone,
        I found a man named Richard Decker,
        But he won’t give me his hairy pecker!
        Decker’s pecker is reserved for farm beasts,
        I am beastly, yes! But my crack’s full of yeasts!

        So Dear Abby, that’s just a poetic summary… You can read about the Love of my Life, Richard Decker, here:
        https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/10/11/farmers-kept-refusing-let-him-have-sex-with-their-animals-so-he-sought-revenge-authorities-say/#comments-wrapper
        Farmers kept refusing to let him have sex with their animals. So he sought revenge, authorities say.
        Decker the hairy pecker told me a summary of his story as below:
        Decker: “Can I have sex with your horse?”
        Farmer: “Lemme go ask the horse.”
        Pause…
        Farmer: “My horse says ‘neigh’!”
        And THAT was straight from the horse’s mouth! I’m not horsin’ around, here, no mare!

        So Decker the hairy pecker told me that, apparently never even realizing just HOW DEEPLY it hurt me, that he was all interested in farm beasts, while totally ignoring MEEE!!

        So I thought maybe I could at least liven up my lonely-heart social life, by refining my common interests that I share with Richard Decker… I, too, like to have sex with horses!

        But Dear Abby, the horses ALL keep on saying “neigh” to my whinnying sexual advances!
        Some tell me that my whinnying is too whiny… Abby, I don’t know how to fix it!

        Dear Abby, please don’t tell me “get therapy”… I can’t afford it on my disability check!

        Now, along with my crack full of yeasts… I am developing anorexia! Some are calling me a “quarter pounder with cheese”, but they are NOT interested at ALL, in eating me!!! They will NOT snack on my crack!

        What will I DO, Dear Abby?!?!?

        -Desperately Seeking Horses, Men, or ANYTHING, in Fort Worth,
        Yours Truly,
        Mary Stack / Tulpa / Mary’s Petriod / “.” / Satan

  7. School officials refused to comment on the matter

    , by cutting the interview short.

  8. The ACLU, when asked if they would represent the school boy, replied that they don’t offer legal representation for anything beginning with 2.

    1. Or anyone privileged enough to pay for haircuts.

  9. >>But school rules say hair should be no shorter than a No. 2.

    what? burn the school rule building to the ground.

  10. She got the boy’s hair cut with No. 1 clippers. But school rules say hair should be no shorter than a No. 2.

    That’s like 4 1/2 inches imperial, right? Or is it more like shoe sizes?

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