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Beto O'Rourke

Has Phony Betomania Already Bitten the Dust?

Legitimately interesting yet eminently mockable GenXer Beto O'Rourke joins the 2020 presidential scrum.

Matt Welch | 3.14.2019 8:15 AM

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In retrospect, the biggest surprise was that Beto O'Rourke did not announce his long-expected (though recently denied) presidential candidacy last week in his native habitat of South by Southwest, while he was promoting an HBO documentary about his stirring failure to unseat one of the most reviled incumbents in American politics.

But then, the former El Paso congressman, whose occasionally moody Gen X uplift has almost completely overshadowed his unusual political path and heterodox policy beliefs, probably knew he was about to get the full Vanity Fair Annie Leibovitz cover treatment:

||| Vanity Fair
Vanity Fair

Wednesday evening, the inevitable was confirmed: He's running. "I'm really proud of what El Paso did and what El Paso represents," O'Rourke said in a text to KTSM.com. "It's a big part of why I'm running. This city is the best example of this country at its best." An official announcement came this morning.

Because America is still a great country, there is already a robust #SaveBetosDog hashtag and a sky full of mirth opening up over the head of the toothsome Texan. Including this bizarre, pre-emptive shot across the bow by the Club for Growth, in which the fiscally conservative group goes after the New Democrat Coalition member for taking advantage of his "white male privilege" and being a pale imitation of Barack Obama. No, really:

The attack ad points to several of O'Rourke's vulnerable points in the crowded Democratic primary. He clearly wants to tap into the Obama vein of American politics without, as a white man who married into wealth, having endured or accomplished as much. He supported as El Paso city councilman an eminent domain deal that would have (but never did) bulldoze the homes of barrio Latinos to the benefit of his own father-in-law. He was arrested for drunk driving in 1998 after hitting a truck at a high rate of speed and (according to one witness) trying to drive away from the scene, though the charges were ultimately dismissed after he completed a court-supervised diversion program.

And dear God, is he ripe for the mocking.

pic.twitter.com/sWkvFYRgTT

— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) March 13, 2019

There is more to the mystical skateboarder and lackluster air drummer, though, than merely the inevitable memes. In the words of an Intercept headline Wednesday night, "Beto O'Rourke Is Running for President and it all Started With Weed." The El Pasoan was a lonely Democratic voice in questioning the drug war a decade ago, and made that a key issue in successfully primarying the eight-term incumbent congressman hack Silvestre Reyes back in 2012.

||| Carol Guzy/ZUMA Press/Newscom
Carol Guzy/ZUMA Press/Newscom

Living as he does across the fortified border with Ciudad Juarez, and speaking pretty good Spanish, O'Rourke has also prioritized an immigration reform that includes fewer Border Patrol agents, freer trade, and (most recently) some torn-down walls. (Read his immigration-related interviews with Reason from 2013, 2015, and 2018.) His highest-profile pre-campaign public appearance this season was an El Paso immigration counter-rally last month at which he reportedly outdrew a same-day, same-city event by President Donald Trump. In a Democratic field comparatively heavy on women but light on Latinos, you can bet that O'Rourke will make immigration enforcement and reform a central issue.

Anything else of interest to libertarians? Well, O'Rourke has been known to consort in a friendly way with the Rep. Justin Amash (R–Mich.). Like Amash, he has been a persistent critic of U.S. interventionism abroad:

[A] member of the House Armed Services Committee, [O'Rourke is] a withering critic of both the Iraq and Libya interventions ("two incredibly ill-conceived regime change wars?"), opposed bombing Syria, and has consistently called on Congress to end the open-ended post-9/11 Authorization for Use of Military Force ("blank check for endless war") and reassert its war-declaration powers. "Troubling, unconstitutional, to be at war in Iraq, Syria, Libya, Yemen & Somalia, in addition to Afghanistan, w/out informed authorization," he tweeted in 2017. "Why do we have such a hard time admitting the West's role and culpability in the problems in the Middle East?" he wrote in 2016.

He also greeted the entrance of Sen. Bernie Sanders (I–Vt.) into the race by declaring that "I'm a capitalist," though this was only days after gushing over the Green New Deal. And as I wrote earlier this month,

[L]ike vanishingly few politicians from either major party, O'Rourke speaks as if there are budgetary constraints on the federal level. "We are $21 trillion in debt," he lamented at a town hall in December, commenting further that "we are projected to add $1 trillion in deficit spending to that debt just in this next fiscal year." He's also a comparatively lonely pro-trade voice in the Democratic field.

Chances are that not much of O'Rourke's policy priors will be discussed in the coming days, if ever. Not when the commanding heights of the Conde Nast empire are disgorging Gen X hagiography like this:

[I]n the O'Rourke living room, a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf contains a section for rock memoirs (Bob Dylan's Chronicles, a favorite) and a stack of LPs (the Clash, Nina Simone) but also a sizable collection of presidential biographies, including Robert Caro's work on Lyndon B. Johnson. Arranged in historical order, the biographies suggest there's been some reflection on the gravity of the presidency. But there's also some political poetry to it, a sense that O'Rourke might be destined for this shelf. He has an aura.

Conservative trolls will have a field day at this and other unintentional embarrassments. But one also can smell just a whiff of fear. If somehow O'Rourke can recapture the history-making fundraising and liberal knee-weakening prowess that he exhibited in 2018, if his Up With People shtick can mask his comparative centrism enough to win a Democratic primary in a socialist year, then Republicans might face a tough challenge in reelecting a persistently unpopular president. Beto O'Rourke is a target-rich environment for mockery, yes, and mockery may also be the best weapon for taking out what could be a formidable candidate.

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NEXT: Is Redistricting Depriving Women of Their Voting Rights?

Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

Beto O'RourkeElection 2020Democratic PartyImmigrationWar
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  1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

    None of his political positions are what makes The Mick Who LARPs As A Spic a "formidable candidate". It's that he's the equivalent of what professional wrestling promoters used to call "blowjobs"--pretty-boy types that were pushed to increase female attendance at the events. The dude's the embodiment of a Tiger Beat cover for Democrats.

    Bill Clinton and Obama were pushed for the same shallow reasons--He's Young! He's Fresh! He's Hip!--but at least they had some concrete policy ideas. Robert O'Rourke can't even be asked to do that, which makes him, by default, an appealing Democratic candidate in The Current Year.

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    2. KevinP   6 years ago

      In this article:

      He clearly wants to tap into the Obama vein of American politics without, as a white man who married into wealth, having endured or accomplished as much.

      What did Obama actually accomplish before running for President?

      1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

        He did win his Senate race. O'Rourke didn't even manage that.

    3. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

      Beto O'Rourke's single accomplishment is getting away with fleeing a crime scene.

      1. Teddy Pump   6 years ago

        Like Teddy K?

        1. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

          His inspiration, no doubt.

          1. Teddy Pump   6 years ago

            Yikes!!!!!

      2. BadLib   6 years ago

        Actually, it sounds like he even failed at that.

    4. GregoryMJohnson   6 years ago

      Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail.

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  2. I can't even   6 years ago

    He's more Irish than a Kennedy, more Mexican the Pancho Villa, and more shallow than the Rio Grande on a hot day!

    It's Irish Bobby!

    1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      Its definitely a great accomplishment to not even win your home state in a political race preceding your run for President.

    2. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      Holy crap this guy is a joke and so are his Wikipedia fluffers.

      The couple and their three children live in El Paso's Sunset Heights area in a Henry Trost-designed mission-style house where General Hugh Scott and Pancho Villa reportedly met in 1915

  3. Mot?rSteve   6 years ago

    "He clearly wants to tap into the Obama vein of American politics without, as a white man who married into wealth, having endured or accomplished as much. "

    What exactly did Obama have to "endure"? They ran short of caviar once? Finding out that he couldn't actually walk on water?

    And, "accomplish"?

    1. Zeb   6 years ago

      The quality and value of his accomplishments are questionable, but it's hard to say he didn't accomplish much.

      1. Tu­lpa AKA "feeling smug"   6 years ago

        Not really. He didn't accomplish much. That was easy.

        See, accomplish means "complete SUCCESSFULLY"

        1. Zeb   6 years ago

          He did successfully get elected twice. And successfully passed some shitty health care legislation. And successfully got us into some more stupid wars.

          1. Tu­lpa AKA "feeling smug"   6 years ago

            Wow, getting elected, that's not much. Like we said.

            Face it, you were wrong. Get over it.

    2. DPICM   6 years ago

      In Obama's defense (as much as I hate to defend him), he did at least win his senate race. So by that very low benchmark, Beto still comes up short.

      1. John   6 years ago

        And he did more or less not have any real parents. His dad was a complete deadbeat and his mother was hardly better. The guy ended up dumped on his white grandparents. I would not have wanted to have Obama's life growing up. O'Rourke in contrast is the picture of privilege. His dad was a judge whose connections and wealth allowed him to live a totally irresponsible and wasted youth and still land on his feet and avoid the long prison sentence that anyone whose father wasn't a judge would have gotten for causing a serious accident and trying to flee the scene while driving drunk.

        1. Cloudbuster   6 years ago

          I would not have wanted to have Obama's life growing up.

          Yeah, that must have been really hard, first living among the privileged class in Indonesia, then going to an elite private prep school, having shadowy benefactors pay your way through Columbia and Harvard, being groomed for success.

          It makes me tear up just thinking about it.

          1. John   6 years ago

            It would be really hard to have two naracistic deadbeat parents who didn't give a shit about you and dumped you on your grandparents or drug you to Indonesia. There is a lot more to life than money.

            1. Troglodyte Rex   6 years ago

              There is a lot more to life than money.

              Yeah, but it helps take the sting away from the squalor.

            2. Ron   6 years ago

              Many grand parents are far better to be raised by than their own parents so I don't consider that being a bad thing that has to be endured. it is hard on the grandparents though.

              1. Zeb   6 years ago

                Sure, but that doesn't mean that being dumped by your parents isn't still a significant negative in ones life.

          2. Teddy Pump   6 years ago

            Don't forget all the partying he did!

        2. Eric   6 years ago

          This. Beto is basically George W Bush without the accomplishments. I'm guessing he's hoping for a VP assignment at best.

        3. JesseAz   6 years ago

          His rich white parents that sent him to the costliest of private schools. Obama had a tough life lol.

          1. John   6 years ago

            It was his rich white grandparents who did that. Obama was dumped by both of his parents as a kid. No amount of money makes that any better.

            1. JesseAz   6 years ago

              Is his parents were unstable narcissists, yes it does make it better. Obama had a better life growing yo than 90% of Americans. Boohoo.

              1. John   6 years ago

                No he didn't. I would rather be poor and have two parents who gave a shit about me than be rich and have deadbeat parents who dumped me on my grandparents. What the hell is wrong with you people/

                1. Nardz   6 years ago

                  Shitty parents have shitty kid who becomes shitty POTUS

                2. JeremyR   6 years ago

                  Sorry, being poor sucks worse than not having parents.

            2. The Laissez-Ferret   6 years ago

              The point is that he didn't have a rags to riches story. Having grown up in a tough neighborhood where everyone was poor or working class (at best), I can say many of us would have leapt at the chance to have rich grandparents with money to help out.

            3. Benitacanova   6 years ago

              John is right. Loss of parents in any way fucks people royally. This has been well documented, usually in regards to criminality, but the other side of the coin is hyper ambition, having to narcissistically suck up the world's love to fill a black hole.

            4. Fats of Fury   6 years ago

              Is there any evidence his grandparents were rich? He sold furniture, she became vice-president of a small local bank. They seem to have always lived in apartments and according to wiki, "Obama was enrolled at the Punahou School, a prestigious preparatory school where his tuition fees were paid with the aid of scholarships."

      2. Azathoth!!   6 years ago

        Well, he won his Senate race because his opponent was gone--having had his sealed court records paraded across the media.

        But let's not talk about Jack Ryan's kinky sex life with 7 of 9

        1. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

          Resistance was futile!

          I sure wouldn't have resisted that delicious rack, and she has pouty DSLs too.

        2. Fats of Fury   6 years ago

          Yes Jack Ryan was accused of wanting to have sex with his own wife. A major scandal at the time.

          1. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

            And not just any chick. If I were married to 36 of DD I would be banging her constantly.

    3. Teddy Pump   6 years ago

      Obummy's Teleprompter went out a couple of times & he looked like a babbling idiot without it.....Quite shameful for a supposed Harvard Law Professor

  4. SIV   6 years ago

    He supported as El Paso city councilman an eminent domain deal that would have (but never did) bulldoze the homes of barrio Latinos to the benefit of his own father-in-law.

    Do you know who else supported an eminent domain deal that never happened?

    1. Robert   6 years ago

      Moses?

      1. Tu­lpa AKA "feeling smug"   6 years ago

        Fuck off Hihn.

    2. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      Hitler's Lebensraum?

    3. Ricardo Vacilon   6 years ago

      I don't know if it's relevant to this topic, but El Paso seems to have high property taxes, such that a person could pay as much as the house is worth in 30 years of being taxed.

    4. Rat on a train   6 years ago

      Breyer, Ginsburg, Kennedy, Souter and Stevens?

  5. Trainer   6 years ago

    The Clickbait Candidate who is on a mission to find himself. He couldn't find himself in the Senate so now he's hoping to find himself in the White House. Or maybe he found a decent living and enough attention being a perennial cadidate and he's just happy scraping along. Either way, I think I'll pass.

    1. Right On Bro!   6 years ago

      He's like most people in politics: trying to avoid having to get a real job. Personally, I would just enjoy the wealth left to me by my family and have fun until I die, but I guess I'm weird that way.

  6. OpenBordersLiberal-tarian   6 years ago

    I know from experience there's nothing phony about Betomania. I don't live anywhere near Texas, and a few months ago I was seeing his lawn signs and bumper stickers everywhere. There's no stronger indicator of genuine grassroots support.

    1. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

      And as we know, nothing trumps a Vanity Fair cover.

      1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

        "Vanity" being the key word.

  7. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

    The entire field of Democrats is one big batshit crazy fucking joke.

    1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      And yet, Democrat donors will give millions and Trump will be reelected in 2020 by even more EC votes than in 2016.

      1. OpenBordersLiberal-tarian   6 years ago

        OMG! Will 2020 be an even bigger "Red Wave" than 2018?

        LOL

        1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

          The Blue Wave 2018 didn't materialize.

          115th Congress: 241 (R) - 194 (D) House/ 52 (R) - 46 (D) Senate
          116th Congress: 235 (D) - 199 (R) House/ 53 (R) - 45 (D) Senate

          1. BestUsedCarSales   6 years ago

            ROFL

    2. Eric   6 years ago

      Andrew Yang has some interesting things to say about UBI. He was on Joe Rogan a while back. And Hickenlooper is very moderate, even conservative on some issues. But I guess if you're viewing things from the rightest of right wings, everyone looks like a leftist.

      1. John   6 years ago

        Hickenlooper is an absolute maniac gun grabber. I think wanting to disarm the public by force makes you a batshit crazy leftist no matter how much lip service you give to loving the private sector and wanting to be reasonable.

        1. Eric   6 years ago

          He signed a large magazine capacity bill as well as a background check bill. Those kinds of laws don't make the 2A crowd happy, but they are very moderate in comparison to your "disarmed by force" histerics.

          1. KevinP   6 years ago

            Yes, let's ban and grab standard magazines, an essential part of modern firearms, while accusing the dissenters of hysterics.

            No one wants to ban or confiscate guns. Ever! It's a crazy and paranoid idea!

            Hawaii, Which Registers Guns and Medical Marijuana Users, Starts Disarming Patients

            Quote:
            Hawaii is one of 29 states that allow medical use of marijuana, but it is the only state that requires registration of all firearms. ...you can probably surmise what this means for patients who use cannabis as a medicine, which Hawaii allows them to do only if they register with the state. This month many of them received a letter from Honolulu Police Chief Susan Ballard, instructing them to turn in their guns.

            "Your medical marijuana use disqualifies you from ownership of firearms and ammunition," Ballard says in the November 13 letter, which Leafly obtained this week after Russ Belville noted it in his Marijuana Agenda podcast. "If you currently own or have any firearms, you have 30 days upon receipt of this letter to voluntarily surrender your firearms, permit, and ammunition to the Honolulu Police Department (HPD)...

            1. Eric   6 years ago

              You can still buy standard magazine in CO. And you can still buy high capacity rebuild kits that are fully assembled too.

              And I compare the CO law, which was signed after the Aurora theater shooting, to Trump's bump stock ban, which was in response to Las Vegas.

              1. John   6 years ago

                Bullshit

                A fixed or detachable magazine, box, drum, feed strip, or similar device capable of accepting, or that is designed to be readily converted to accept, more than 15 rounds of ammunition;

                http://lawcenter.giffords.org/.....-colorado/

                Note the "designed to be readily converted" language. That includes damn near anything.

                1. Eric   6 years ago

                  I have purchased four 30 round "rebuild kits" and live in CO. And my firearms aren't illegal either. And the cops at the gun range have the same. So back to your books looking for boogeymen John.

                  1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

                    No magazines/clips are illegal. Every gun control law is unconstitutional.

          2. John   6 years ago

            What Kevin P said. Are you dishonest or do you really not have any idea how guns work? Let me give you a hint, declaring standard magazines illegal makes the guns illegal. And if they are illegal, you have to either sell them to someone out of state or turn them in if you don't want to be a criminal.

            There is nothing moderate about that. And fuck you and anyone who claims otherwise. Fuck you and the horse you road in on.

            1. Eric   6 years ago

              Lol. You have no fucking clue what you are talking about.

              1. John   6 years ago

                Yes I do. Read the language above. Any magazine that can be converted is banned. That is pretty much any magazine,. Again ,go fuck yourself. You are not getting mine or anyone else's guns no matter how much you lie and pretend you are being reasonable. there is nothing reasonable about it. And you will never be satisfied even if it were. Today's reasonable compromise is tomorrow's loophole that must be closed.

                There is absolutely no reason to compromise with people like you and Hickenlooper.

              2. John   6 years ago

                Have you ever even seen an AR? The standard magazine for one is 30 rounds.

                1. Eric   6 years ago

                  Standard is whatever you purchase to go with your AR. I've only built one so I wouldn't know if they are packaged with a magazine. Best consult with your books and websites to find the answers to counter my real world experience.

                  1. soldiermedic76   6 years ago

                    Yes, off the shelf ARs are sold with 30 round magazines standard. And just because you haven't been arrested yet doesn't mean you aren't technically breaking the law. Basically, Colorado isn't really enforcing the law because it is unenforceable. There's been tons of stories on that.

                    1. Eric   6 years ago

                      When I was sighting it for the first time at the range I brought the 10 round, but noticed that everyone was openly using 30s. I asked the range master and he laughed and showed me the rebuild kits they sold. A cop who was in the shop confirmed what you're saying.

                    2. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

                      Pussy. 100 round drums for the AR Series or GTFO

                    3. Eric   6 years ago

                      Lol. I could just walk over and take your AR while you're trying to clear the jammed drum.

                    4. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

                      Because only a moron has one weapon on them.

                      I would just rifle butt your stupid face to save a bullet.

                    5. Eric   6 years ago

                      Not so fast LC. Because you see, I know your weakness...

                      Before I get to you to take your jammed rifle, I would throw a copy of the Art of the Deal up in the air. Knowing that you'd never allow the orange visage of His Holiness to be desecrated by touching the ground, you'd leap to catch it. While you're in the air, I would then throw a copy of the Constitution in the other direction allowing it to hit the ground. Which of course, would cause you to wail and rend your operator-chic garments. As you cry and gnashed your teeth impotently, I could disarm you as needed, and walk away leaving a broken husk.

                    6. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

                      Poor Eric. So unaware what makes Libertarians tick.

                    7. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

                      I get what you're saying, but the CO law is on the books as described, and your "standard" [30 round] mag is still illegal, as is "modifying" a "legal" magazine; they just aren't enforcing it because it's not worth all the trouble of tackling people like yourself wherever they show up. You just have to get them out of State or through black market and go through the trouble and be willing to be a "law breaker." Even in Australia the best estimates for compliance with the mandatory confiscation is only around 20%.

                      It's like building your own suppressor using aluminum cups and a fuel filter; no one may be kicking the door down but it's still a felony if not registered and paid for [$200]. But don't get caught with it because they'll throw the book at you.

          3. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

            Those kinds of laws don't make the 2A crowd happy, but they are very moderate in comparison to your "disarmed by force" histerics.

            And now they're pushing a "red flag" bill that essentially strips people of any due process. It never ends with these people because there's no law they can pass, short of outright confiscation, that would drop firearm deaths close to zero.

            Today's "moderate" regulation is tomorrow's loophole.

            1. Eric   6 years ago

              Agreed. But Hickenlooper is no longer gov.

              How bout: "Rainbow Music Hall White Privilege" - there's a certain ring to it

              1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

                Nah, I'm still leaning towards "Ludlow Celebration White Privilege".

                1. Eric   6 years ago

                  A fine day in CO history...right up there with Sand Creek.

                  1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

                    Commies were killed, so it certainly was.

                    1. Eric   6 years ago

                      As well as their wives and children.

                    2. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

                      Nits make lice.

      2. Weigel's Cock Ring   6 years ago

        Who is Andrew Yang? Another "libertarian" who lives the endlessly expanding welfare state?

      3. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

        Yes, when Eric views everythin from the leftest of left wings, everything looks like a conservative.

    3. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

      Democrats are a bunch of sick delusional fuckers

  8. SIV   6 years ago

    I seriously liked the VF piece. It's uncanny how closely Beto followed in his father's footsteps.

    1. Jerryskids   6 years ago

      I suppose you've seen that the Leibovitz VF cover looks exactly like the Leibovitz VF cover for the same story on John Edwards, written by the same writer. He's dreamy! He's a regular Joe, only better! He's a saint! We're not worthy!

    2. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

      Holy shit, you weren't kidding.

  9. Enjoy Every Sandwich   6 years ago

    He needs a job which provides a car and driver, since he can't safely operate anything more powerful than a skateboard. So he figures being President is the perfect fit.

    1. Weigel's Cock Ring   6 years ago

      ROFLMAO.

    2. rbike   6 years ago

      I saw a picture of Beto with his Surly Steamroller singlespeed bicycle. I wanted to cry. I owned and rode a Steamroller daily for 15 years until it died a sad death at my own hands. Yes, the Surly Steamroller has a reputation as a hipster bike but I actually used it for its intended purposes and I for sure am not a hipster in any way shape or form (except for my singlespeed bike use). Just for the record, I can't stand Starbucks, Craft brew, hard liquor, Man buns, Beto, and any other hipster crap. But I did like my Surly Steamroller. It is not just a bike but an attitude - Surly. I can only agree with Beto on his choice of bikes. Just sayin'.

  10. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

    Welch is getting a Beto boner!

    1. AlmightyJB   6 years ago

      Will Matthews get another tingle up his leg?

      1. Enjoy Every Sandwich   6 years ago

        Yeah, he'll probably wet himself again.

  11. albo   6 years ago

    Have you seen the twitters this morning? The VF piece is written by the same guy who wrote VF's story on John Edwards when he was running way back when, and both their cover pics of Edwards and O'Rourke are similar--casual dress, a truck and a dog. It's hilarious

    1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      I wonder if Beto is having an extra-marital affair that he is trying to cover up while his wife dies of cancer.

      1. AlmightyJB   6 years ago

        He's more like Lurch who also married an heiress.

      2. Idle Hands   6 years ago

        I think he's smarter than that. The man is a nobody whose never done anything but get married to a billionaire's daughter.

        1. SIV   6 years ago

          Beto's father was a nobody who never did anything but get married to a millionaire's daughter. Chip off the ol' block.

  12. Fist of Etiquette   6 years ago

    ...having endured or accomplished as much.

    "Present."

  13. Tu­lpa AKA "feeling smug"   6 years ago

    I wonder what his butler calls him.

    Master Beto?

    1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      Hefe

      1. AlmightyJB   6 years ago

        Chuckle

  14. AlmightyJB   6 years ago

    He's tall and semi-attractive in that Kennedy douchbag kind of way and has the D behind his name and he's self-absorbed. So it doesn't really matter what he says, women will vote for him which will make him tough to beat given his primary competition or rather lack thereof. Kamela is probably strongest competition but has her own issues to deal with.

    1. AlmightyJB   6 years ago

      I think Joe "creepy hands" Biden is going to sink fast. He has zero youth appeal. Bernie can't beat Trump and the Dems know it so he's out.

    2. John   6 years ago

      I can see why someone of a certain bent would like O'Rourke but I can't see how anyone could say he is interesting. He doesn't have a single interesting or original position or thought. He is the perfect example of the gentry, white liberal. Love that or hate that, whatever you think it is not interesting or unique.

      1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

        He really embodies everything that's wrong with politics since the Boomers became a political force--the hyper-earnestness, the parroting of college campus shibboleths, the delusions of grandeur ("Man, I'm just born to be in it"), the puerile pandering to pop culture and youth tropes, and the slick pseudo-Kennedy sales packaging by the media.

        albo's comparison of him to John Edwards is apt, and it wasn't an accident that the media went full-bore to try and run the same propaganda playbook with O'Rourke that they did with Obama in 2004.

        1. John   6 years ago

          In fairness to Edwards, he was a trial lawyer of some repute. I am not going to defend the morality of being a sleezy plantiff's attorney but it is something that takes a considerable amount of skill and moxy to do at the level Edwards did it. Edwards had an actual successful carreer outside politics. Beto has never been anything but the idiot son of a well connected judge.

          1. AlmightyJB   6 years ago

            "Beto has never been anything"

            Kind of like our last president. Blank slate spouting platitudes.

            1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

              In fairness to Obama, at least he won his Senate race, albeit in the shadiest manner possible. O'Rourke can't even make that claim. He's just a cotton-candy brained rich boy from El Paso that happens to have the correct political alignment.

              1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

                To be honest, I don't even care that a new politician has a political resume.

                Trump lost two Presidential runs and had zero political office experience.

                He is the best President in over 80 years.

                Beto does not have any appeal for me because he wont reign in government and Texans dont like him because he cannot even win his own state.

      2. creech   6 years ago

        He did well in Texas among a certain class of voter simply because he wasn't Ted Cruz. A yaller dawg probably could have come close to winning too.

        1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

          He did well in Texas among a certain class of voter

          Well, sure--his whole campaign was designed to appeal to white suburban women with college degrees. It's the same reason Wendy Davis was nominated to run for governor in Texas, too.

          If Julian Castro had run for Senate instead of O'Rourke, Cruz would have cleaned his clock because there's nothing about Castro that gets white girl panties moist, and no one outside the San Antonio media gives a shit about him.

        2. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

          Yes, the treason incinlined love subversives like Beto O'Rourke.

  15. Idle Hands   6 years ago

    I honestly thought for sure he was going to be Reason's candidate of choice given he cusses in front of his kids, was in a band, is pro pot and is the emptiest suit ever.

    1. Azathoth!!   6 years ago

      Wait.

    2. Weigel's Cock Ring   6 years ago

      They also love Pete Buttplug because he's gay, and there's a lot of gay boys working at Resson these days.

      But I suspect they know deep inside that Buttplug doesn't have nearly enough name recognition at this time to do anything.

      1. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

        What ever happened to old Buttplug any way? Haven't seen him, or Hihn, or Rev...wait.

  16. AlmightyJB   6 years ago

    "he has been a persistent critic of U.S. interventionism abroad"

    And he hasn't received the Tulsi treatment yet? Guessing it's coming.

  17. Cloudbuster   6 years ago

    I can't even get excited enough about Beto to critique him. It's obvious we're being presented with a slick packaged corporate product. "Beto 2.0! Now with more multi-culturalism in every bite! He's edgy! He's hip! He's Beto! Get one for election day!"

    1. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

      Are you a "Mad Man?" Sure sound like it.

  18. Jerry B.   6 years ago

    Good. Someone to fill in the young white male progressive box on the office "Which Democratic candidate will drop out first?" pool

  19. Chem_Geek   6 years ago

    Austin calling!

    1. MK Ultra   6 years ago

      A+ for continuing with The Clash motif.

  20. Michael Cook knuckle drag   6 years ago

    He's being promoted so that the eventual geriatric Dem candidate can choose a bright, younger face to run with.

    Now my sneaking suspicion is that old wrinkled mug still might be Hillary. She still has the assets (money, staff, diehards, and networks galore) to overpower probably anybody but Biden, PLUS:

    (1) She can give the illusion of being a centrist with loads of experience.

    (2) Her Dem opponents can't viciously attack her on the things that matter without exposing their party's complicity in all of it. Her nasty history is their history. They can't walk or even inch away from it.

    (3) Like it or not, she is a symbol of defiant, strong womanhood. She certainly never admits weakness or says she is sorry sincerely.

    (4) Biden will have his own problems. Research Hunter Biden and Burisma. Think about Helsinki, Germany, and Russian natural gas. Think about the brazen international smoke and mirrors con games that can be run when our mainstream media is only a Dem propaganda outlet and our CIA and DOJ were politicized by Obama bureaucrats to completely ignore what was being done in plain sight to try and keep both Angela Merkel and Vlad Putin jolly and pretending to like us.

    1. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

      Douchebag lefties like Beto fail upwards.

    2. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

      "...she is a symbol of defiant, strong womanhood. She certainly never admits weakness or says she is sorry sincerely."

      There are much better descriptions for those character faults than "strong womanhood." The first that comes to my mind is cunt.

  21. JesseAz   6 years ago

    Hes running on doing things better. He doesn't have specifics. Hes not an idea guy. Hes a theme guy. He will be better. #betterbeto

    1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      Perfectly moldable by the DNC

  22. Rev. Arthur L. Kirkland   6 years ago

    These comments indicate this candidate is never going to gain traction with America's vestigial, bigoted right-wing malcontents.

    He is forced to hope that disaffected, rural, superstitious faux libertarians have not become the winners of America's culture war.

    Carry on, clingers

    1. Eric   6 years ago

      I think the comments are spot on about Beto. Pretty boy-empty suit with no accomplishments. Trump would have a field day mocking his pseudo-Latinoness...and the fact that he lost to Trump's favorite whipping-boy, Ted Cruz.

    2. Unicorn Abattoir   6 years ago

      Where we you yesterday, Clingin' Kirkland? I don't know if your handlers let you watch the news or not, but there was a big story about our betters having to pay bribes to get into the schools you approve of.

      1. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

        Too bad those elite's children aren't RE so fucking stupid and lazy.

      2. Rev. Arthur L. Kirkland   6 years ago

        I do not regard them as betters. Lori Loughlin, for example, has no college degree and pandered to superstitious yahoos with white-bread dramas on one of the 'wholesome heartland' channels.

        1. Red Rocks White Privilege   6 years ago

          I do not regard them as betters. Lori Loughlin, for example, has no college degree and pandered to superstitious yahoos with white-bread dramas on one of the 'wholesome heartland' channels.

          Arthur L. Hicklib tries to disavow his fellow leftists.

    3. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

      Hey asshole; Sevo's looking for you.

      1. Rev. Arthur L. Kirkland   6 years ago

        Sevo is too busy looking for a handful of street pills to get him through another miserable day in our deplorable backwaters to be looking for anything else.

        1. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

          You're a funny fucker Arty. Acting superior, when I have easily forty IQ points, probably more than twice your physical strength, superior education, and a resume of intellectual, professional, and physical accomplishments that you certainly lack.

          Relative to you, I'm a superbeing. That must drive your little dull mind into a blind rage, being such an envy centric progtard.

  23. JesseAz   6 years ago

    Dont you have some fraudulent elite colleges to defend? Or maybe some minorities to talk down to like liberals do?

  24. Tony   6 years ago

    People who think Trump makes a great president don't get to have an opinion on the Democratic candidates, and probably should just stay in their rooms and attempt to eat their soup.

    1. John   6 years ago

      People who will vote for whomeever the Democrats run no matter how bad, incompetent or corrupt opinion on the Democratic candidate is irrelevent. You are a drone Tony. You will do as you are told, think what you are told and your thoughts on such things matter to no one, least of all the Democratic party.

      1. Tony   6 years ago

        So you think there's ever going to be a good reason to vote for Trump over any one of the Dem candidates? Shut up and gargle your soup.

        1. John   6 years ago

          Since Trump has done pretty much everything he has promised to do, no. Why would I? Even though he has no chance at the nomination, I wish he would be nominated so you could have the pleasure of voting for a rich white guy who escaped a long prison sentence that would have befell any poor person and certainly any minority because of his family connections. Beto more than anyone is who people like you are. Forever claiming that you don't want the game to be rigged but always doing everything you can to keep it rigged for you benefit.

          1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

            It even funnier that after all the Feminist and anti-White rhetoric coming from the propagandist wing of the Democratic Party that multiple White men are running for President.

            Even with Obama as President, they still needed a White guy as VP to win.

        2. Shirley Knott   6 years ago

          In 2016, the good reason to vote for Trump was Hillary.
          Expect the same in 2020 ? the best reason to vote for Trump will be the Dem candidate.
          Trump's only merit is not being Hillary, or whichever of the current litter of scumbags competing for the D candidacy wins out.
          His sole positive is the vast negatives of his competition.

          Get over the idea that people vote for. By and large, they vote against.

          1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

            Trump is a definite vote not an anti-vote.

            Trump has done more Libertarian-ish things than any LP candidate put up in 2020.

            1. Architect of Liberty   6 years ago

              LC sez: "Trump has done more Libertarian-ish things than any LP candidate put up in 2020".

              Exactly what LP candidates have been put up in 2020 so far? I haven't seen any...

              1. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

                Last time they put up GayJay (still less Libertarin-ish accomplishments as NM Gov) and Weld (A Lefty hiding as a LINO/RINO)

        3. Rufus The Monocled   6 years ago

          Policy wise, the hate hurled against Trump is hyperbole. I don't see what's been so bad to elicit such unhinged retardedness.

          People focus on the periphery shit. The other day someone sent me the story of Kushner sr. trying to black mail his brother (a story Christie explained on Mad Dog sports) and that somehow 'the company you keep' matters.

          Of course, he never sent me articles about the company the Clintons and the Obamas kept.

        4. Earth Skeptic   6 years ago

          That's what reveals our desperate reality. Even with all of Trump's fundamental flaws and heinous misfit with our highest office, almost of the the annouced Democratic candidates still make people ponder if Trump could be better.

    2. Enjoy Every Sandwich   6 years ago

      I'm sure that makes you feel very superior, but at some point the Democratic nominee is going to have to try and win some of those people over. It can be done. But not that way. Keep shitting all over them and they'll vote against you just for spite.

    3. TrickyVic (old school)   6 years ago

      ""People who think Trump makes a great president don't get to have an opinion on the Democratic candidates""

      Says who?

    4. Weigel's Cock Ring   6 years ago

      Eat your mushy peas, you miserable bearded ugly ass old fuck.

    5. loveconstitution1789   6 years ago

      Poor Tony.

      I plan on sabotaging Democrats running in the Democrat Primary.

      I voted for Bernie in Georgia to fuck over Hillary, since I knew that GayJay was on the ballot and Trump would beat either Bernie or Hillary. Worked great. The DNC was so threatened that they rigged the Primary against Bernie. GayJay got 3% of the votes in Georgia. Trump kicked Hillary's ass.

    6. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

      Tony, you don't decide what we get to have. We decide if you get to continue breathing.

      If you live to see another sunrise, it is only because we allow it.

    7. Rebel Scum   6 years ago

      don't get to have an opinion on the Democratic candidates

      I'll have an opinion on anything I damned well please, that you very much. As for the Dem candidates, they are frighteningly collectivistic and anti-freedom.

  25. ulluofbill32154   6 years ago

    my buddy's mother-in-law makes $72/hr on the . She has been without a job for ten months but last month her paycheck was $21863 just working on the for a few hours. Read more on this site

  26. Rufus The Monocled   6 years ago

    Why are Democrats such wannabe-hipster insufferable whack jobs?

    The GOP are a mosh pit of cool next to these clowns.

    1. Last of the Shitlords   6 years ago

      The democrat party does not have a fixed morality associated with it. The Republican Party, despite it's failings, does have a tradition of aspiring to basic New Testament values. Which are anathema to the kind of people who are attracted to the democrats.

      This is also why the democrats are a magnet for sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists. Why look at Tony, he fits right in.

  27. Petey44   6 years ago

    get paid over $120 per hour working from home with 2 kids at home. I never thought I'd be able to do it but my best friend earns over 10k a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless. Heres what I've been doing, AND GOOD LUCK.HERE>>>>>>.... http://www.Home.jobs89.com

  28. NormanWilkerson   6 years ago

    I can always spot a Matt Welch headline. Nice Clash reference!

  29. MK Ultra   6 years ago

    I'll miss this reference from a song by 'The Clash' when Beto actually disappears. He was manic in Iowa this morning, and his arm-flapping is worse than Bernie's.

  30. Harvard   6 years ago

    So it's official. Reason is all in for Fido for 2020.

    1. Michael Cook knuckle drag   6 years ago

      It is true you once get your brat into Harvard Law by hook or crook they really don't have to really study or even pay attention in class except to their colleagues, who will one day help them rule America?

  31. TrickyVic (old school)   6 years ago

    ""joins the 2020 presidential scrum.""

    Ha, I read that as scum.

    1. Anomalous   6 years ago

      Both are true.

    2. Quo Usque Tandem   6 years ago

      In my humble opinion, best comment of the day!

  32. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   6 years ago

    He's on a VisionQuest, communing with native spirit guides, smoking peyote. This motherfucker is so Gen X it huuuurrrrts.

    1. Unicorn Abattoir   6 years ago

      He's looking forward to the Tai-Chi scene.

  33. Nardz   6 years ago

    Beta can choke on a dick.

    "Legitimately interesting"

    Welch can choke on a dick too.

  34. Colossal Douchebag   6 years ago

    He's Bobby Newport! That's what I'm calling him from here on out.

  35. BYODB   6 years ago

    Empty suits run well in the DNC, and O'Rourke is pretty much the epitome of an empty suit. If he couldn't beat Ted Cruz, something tells me he won't be able to beat Trump either let alone the anti-capitalists in his own party. His claim to being a capitalist is laughable at face value, too, but he's slitting his own throat in the primary by claiming the title.

  36. Unicorn Abattoir   6 years ago

    "Has Phony Betomania Already Bitten the Dust?"

    Let's match the other democratic candidates to their Clash song. I'll start:

    Kamala Harris - Julie's Been Working For The Drug Squad (and/or Jail Guitar Doors)

  37. Architect of Liberty   6 years ago

    Welch is so full of shit -- he sticks his wet finger up in the air thinking it will give him a leg up on his contemporary writers while covering this burgeoning horse race with a supposedly small "L" bent.

    Matt -- what exactly was the point of your screed?

    1. Weigel's Cock Ring   6 years ago

      That "L" is so small you need an electron microscope to see it!

  38. fukoha   6 years ago

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  40. Rebel Scum   6 years ago

    Empty Suit With a Smile Part Deux: Beto the Faux Latino

  41. Rockabilly   6 years ago

    He has three strikes

    1 - He's white
    2- He's a he
    3- He's straight

    1. JeremyR   6 years ago

      He pretends to be hispanic, so he's a person of color and thus absolves everything else.

      1. Rockabilly   6 years ago

        Sounds like cultural appropriation :~)

  42. Nuwanda   6 years ago

    Oh, he's perfect. JFK in jeans. The name is perfect for all kinds of hip memes. Add a black woman as running mate and the package is complete.

    And as shallow and vacuous as a blow-up paddling pool.

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  45. awildseaking   6 years ago

    It's almost like he's a charismatic (although I have no idea how anyone finds Beta to be energizing) young man who says nice things to look cool and is only offensively stupid.

  46. Reasonable San Franciscan   6 years ago

    Fantastic headline!

    1. Eman   6 years ago

      I literally LOL'd a little bit in real life.

  47. Eman   6 years ago

    Is the title of this article not nick gillespie in a nutshell?

  48. fagip   6 years ago

    My neighbor's mother makes $64 hourly on the laptop. She has been out of work for five months but last month her payment was $15080 just working on the laptop for a few hours.

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  49. Salero21   6 years ago

    Beto the FAKE Hispanic reminds me of don Quixote attacking the windmills.

  50. tlapp   6 years ago

    Where are the leftists trashing his Hispanic sounding nickname. Some cultural appropriation political correctness is order. LOL

  51. Darth Soros   6 years ago

    "Looks like Bobby, drives like Teddy," says a mock Beto poster somewhere online.

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