Happy Valentine's Day, From The Police State

Roses are red, violets are blue. The state is violence.


It's that special day of the year, when true love is professed, flowers are delivered, and police departments remind everyone that the state has a monopoly on violence.

Specifically, the Thames Valley police force in England wants you to know they have dogs that will chew on your ass:

will u be mine?

Here's a South Wales police department bragging about locking up a guy for weed:

Over here in America, police departments tend to know they'll get ruthlessly mocked for posting this kind of stuff, so they tend to be a little cheekier, like the police in Tiverton, Rhode Island, who spent the morning pulling over good drivers and giving them boxes of chocolates. In Conway, Arkansas, the police department offered Valentine's Day amnesty to people with outstanding misdemeanor warrants who turned themselves in.

But back to our friends across the pond in Thames Valley. You'll be shocked to hear that a women was randomly attacked by a TVP K-9 unit in 2014. The Guardian reported:

In a case in the Thames Valley police region, a woman who was not a suspect was in the street when a group of police with a dog walked past. Without warning or provocation, the dog bit her on the right thigh. She and her friends begged the officers to remove the dog but it bit her again. She was left bleeding and distressed and her friends took her to hospital. The victim had been a dog owner but was so traumatised by the incident she had to give her pet away. She received £11,000 in compensation.

In fact, the Thames Valley and Hampshire police forces jointly sold a police search dog to another department without informing the new owners that the animal had previously bitten 10 people, including one person on the face. The dog then went on to savagely maul a 73-year-old pensioner, who later died from complications from her injuries.

Happy Valentine's Day!

NEXT: California's Bullet Train Project Doesn't Deserve Your Moist-Eyed Love Letters


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10 responses to “Happy Valentine's Day, From The Police State

  1. the police in Tiverton, Rhode Island, who spent the morning pulling over good drivers and giving them boxes of chocolates.

    The police in Tiverton, Rhode Island, have too much time on their hands. Can probably cut the force in half, at least.

    1. That’s just the moment when the criminal element in Tiverton, Rhode Island will pounce.

  2. Please format your comment into a Valentines poem:

    The cops in RI

    Have too much time

    Probably can cut

    Their force in half.

  3. tyrant magistrate
    signing warrants for the green
    nice seat in Hades

  4. The victim had been a dog owner but was so traumatised by the incident she had to give her pet away.

    not buying it

  5. [i]One male arrested for possession of Cannabis after a successful warrant was executed today.[/i]

    Execution for Cannabis possession? That’s harsh.

    1. Don’t fuck with the Welsh police…

  6. The state is violence. It’s a little more nuanced than that. The proper function of government is to defend individual negative liberty with the retaliatory use of force. So while yes the government uses force it is supposed to only be retaliatory in nature.

    1. Your admonition is wasted. The author is an anarchist and therefore believes the state has no legitimate function.

  7. Related: Police charged a home owner with first degree murder for shooting police who broke into his home during a no-knock raid. The man had previously sold $20 and then $40 worth of marijuana to a CI. No marijuana or other drugs found in his home. Suspicion that he was trafficking gun sales without much evidence (also probably not in violation of local law)


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