Brickbats

Brickbat: Whiter Shade of Pale

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White linens
Whitestep / Dreamstime.com

A top cop in London's Metropolitan Police has been placed on restrictive duties and could be fired after being accused of racism and gross misconduct. The officer, a member of the department's anti-corruption unit, told colleagues they need to be above reproach and "whiter than white." Some colleagues note that the phrase is actually quite common, having been popularized as the slogan of a laundry detergent.

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  1. COP: “Look, I was just using an analogy about being white like a sheet.”

    SUPERVISOR: “You’re only making it worse for yourself.”

    COP: “It’s not as if said n!@@3r, like Colonel Sanders did.”

    SUPERVISOR: “OK, that’s another charge.”

    COP: “Wait a second…(cop runs out of room, sound of gunshot, cop comes back into room)…I just shot a guy I saw reaching for his waistband.”

    SUPERVISOR: “Clever! Now I’ll have to put you on paid leave until the grand jury can hear your case, bearing in mind that the UK abolished grand juries in 1933.”

    COP: “Did I tell you that you’re making me feel really stressed?”

    SUPERVISOR: “By Jove, you have altogether outwitted me. You may go, and please be sure t pick up your stress-related disability check on the way out.”

    1. Is there some kind of filter or automatic flag system on this comment section? I always thought there wasn’t.

      1. Also that is quite amusing. I like the sheet joke especially.

      2. There’s something called Reasonable, I’m told, by which you can block the people you don’t care for.

        1. I am asking because you used the comic book characters for a naughty word.

        2. I was using Reasonable. It stopped working for me a while ago.

  2. Ancient Chinaman secret, huh?

    1. Calgon, take me away!

      1. You’re soaking in it.

    2. I dont think this is helping 🙂

  3. A cop faces disciplinary action and possible criminal charges for suggesting to other cops that maybe they shouldn’t be corrupt.

    1. No, it is for suggesting that being “white” is to be pure. Western culture is going insane with self-hatred.

      1. No, I am pretty sure Deconstructed Potato got it right.

        The Met has a reputation here and I am not going to question it.

    2. They do tend to hate that. I wasn’t expecting the mask to be dropped quite this blatantly, though.

  4. British cops don’t seem to be all that good at solving crimes these days. Maybe it’s because they spend all their time and energy on this kind of chickenshit?

  5. A black day for the Met.

    1. Isn’t that what happens every time they put on a production of “Otello”?

  6. So is the preferred phrase “Caucasianier than Caucasian” now? And is “pure as the driven snow” a banned drug reference? “Spot-free” anti-caninist? “Unblemished” triggering to teen-agers with acne? It’s so hard to keep up with the youngsters lingo these days.

  7. This is one of those songs, like Buff Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth,” that has absolutely nothing to do with Vietnam (indeed, this one is from a country that didn’t even send anyone there), but always feels like it’s just steeped in that era–I can hear it playing just reading the title. And I was actually born many years after the fall of Saigon; I didn’t experience the era but I remember the post-era as a little kid, and how long it was taking the scars to heal. This song always makes me very emotional.

  8. Would it be OK for the cop supervisor to tell the cops to go out and enforce the laws “with hearts blacker than black”?

    1. You know damn well most would be too yellow to do anything like that.

      1. Also would it be OK for the cop supervisor to tell the cops to be “niggardly” when it comes to dishing out force and violence, when the situation might not demand much if any force and violence?

        (VERY good advice IMHO!)

  9. Garbage Island.

    More concerned about what people say than actual crimes being committed in Britain.

  10. If white people shouldn’t be super white, does that mean cultural appropriation is OK now?

    1. I think that it may still be OK to have a “heart of gold”, since there are no golden-hued people… That may change if some non-whites start painting themselves gold-colored! Same kind of thing goes to rose-colored glasses…

  11. Also on banned list:
    white knight
    white hat (esp. vs. black hat)
    white propaganda (as opposed to black propaganda and grey propaganda)
    chess sets (color scheme should be changed to blue vs. orange)

    1. Orange? Like the Loyal Orange Order in Northern Ireland whose parades every July 12 are such a political headache?

  12. Can you imagine the uproar if Spy Vs Spy was to be published now?

  13. Thank gawd he didn’t call that stingy guy “niggardly”. Sheesh.

  14. So quoting Shakespeare is now officially banned.

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