Brickbats

Brickbat: Drink Up

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Child drinking water
Tatyana Gladskikh / Dreamstime.com

The California legislature has approved a bill that would make water or non-flavored milk the default drink in any children's meals served by restaurants. McDonald's and other restaurant chains have already stopped serving sodas unless requested by parents with kid's meals, but lawmakers say such voluntary efforts aren't enough to fight childhood obesity.

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  1. I’m sick of these half measures. Why don’t I see children under penalty of law running laps in California restaurant parking lots?

    1. Parking lots? Get rid of parking lots and replace the drive through with a run through.

      1. Really, why is the government even letting these places operate at all? I mean, sure, sure, “childhood obesity”, but adulthood obesity is critical too. After all, heart disease is very expensive, and since everyone has to pay for everyone else’s healthcare now, it’s only fair that that means that we get to tell you how to live to reduce those costs.

        We need to make helmets mandatory, too.

        We can start with the CA legislature. Make them all wear helmets. Clearly, their brains are very important and should be protected, so they should be mandated to wear helmets all the time.

        1. No, we need more organ donors. Helmets are banned.

          1. But… I really really want the CA legislature to be forced to run around in ‘tard helmets under penalty of law. Please? 😀

            1. They’re more likely to pass a law mandating ‘tard helmets for everyone and then exempt themselves.

            2. Dunce caps are more recognizable, even today.

              1. It’s true, but they lack the “safety” aspect that these jackholes are flogging all the time.

    2. I agree. Fuck this “plastic straw ban” or “plastic bag ban” shit. California needs to straight up ban plastic.

      And these people think that taking the soda out of the Happy Meal and leaving the deep fried potatoes and cheeseburger in it is sufficient? Happy Meals should be mandated to contain brussels sprouts and plain, unseasoned grilled chicken breasts. OK, so it won’t really be a very “happy” meal any more, but the kids still gets a toy, at least.

      Y’know, as long as it’s made of leather, metal, wood, or bone, and certainly not plastic.

      1. Bone? You monster.

    3. Making children run laps under penalty of law you say? You just bought up a nice insight into this. Kids have already been made to exercise at school. This suggestion to drink water is nowhere near the compulsion visited upon children in schools. You think the rednecks don’t boss everyones kids around? You think this is some kind of California thing? Plz motherfuckers.

      1. You’d think a government that has your kid 8 hours a day could teach them not to be fat asses.

        So much for that.

      2. Kids have already been made to exercise at school.

        Actually a lot of schools have done away with P.E. and in some cases recess is maybe only 15 minutes, if that. And yet people still bitch about childhood obesity. Probably the same people who think P.E and recess are wastes of time that could be spent “learning” and who don’t think twice about throwing a fit and calling the cops about kids playing outside without a parent within 5 feet at all times., and yet they don’t even make the connection because they’re retards.

      3. This suggestion to drink water is nowhere near the compulsion visited upon children in schools.

        The California legislature has approved a bill that would make water or non-flavored milk the default drink in any children’s meals served by restaurants. McDonald’s and other restaurant chains have already stopped serving sodas unless requested by parents with kid’s meals

        [Emphasis added, since you missed it the first time] This is a bill, which means if the Governor signs it it will become a law. Laws aren’t “suggestions.” And this law is particulary dumb because unless they make it illegal for restaurants to serve soda to kids even if their parents request it, most restaurants have already made milk or some other “healthy” drink the default option. It serves no purpose whatsoever except to give politicians an opportunity to grandstand.

      4. You think the rednecks don’t boss everyones kids around?

        Not sure what point you’re trying to make with this non-sequitor about “rednecks,” but I’m sure it’s retarded. Do us all a favor: next time you have a “thought,” let it go.

    4. Because some do-gooder would call CPS on them.

  2. but lawmakers say such voluntary efforts aren’t enough to fight childhood obesity.

    A claim for which I’m certain they have copious and irrefutable evidence.

    1. When this doesn’t solve the problem, it will be evidence that more drastic steps are needed.

    2. A poll: 51% of all Californians agree that the government needs to do more about___________________________

  3. Kids’ meals shouldn’t come with a side order of diabetes, obesity or cardiovascular disease
    Damn. The local McDonalds only offers cancer, herpes and cholera.

    1. A In-n-Out bacon double-double and (extra crispy) fries. Oh. and a Diet Coke. Aw, hell, make it a 4×4, two chocolate shakes (doesn’t anyone make malts now?) and fries, everything Animal-Style. And one black coffee.

      1. “Black” coffee? What are you saying?

        1. That he likes his coffee like he likes his men?

  4. Lawmakers can’t claim credit when things are done voluntarily.

    1. Sure they can. The typical elected government person is someone who sees a parade, runs to the front, and acts as if they were leading it the whole time.

  5. Maybe there wouldn’t be a childhood obesity problem if parents weren’t legally mandated to be helicopter parents.

    Thing is, they have things to do. They can’t spend hours outside watching little Jane and Johnny. So they plop the kids in front of a tv or computer, and then take care of their responsibilities.

    Yet another problem created by well-intentioned government idiots that will be made worse by well-intentioned government idiots.

    This is how they pave the road to hell.

    1. Outside is dangerous. The real world is out there.

      1. Also Nazis and clowns. I may be forgetting others.

        1. The Russians! Hackers! Russian hackers!

        2. Psychic spies from China trying to steal their minds’ elation.

          1. And Hollywood, it’s understood, sells Californication.

    2. +1 googleplex

  6. If the do-gooders in Sacramento really wanted to ‘save’ the children they would simply make soda/cola illegal for anyone under the age of 18. Plus think of all the new fines and arrests they could issue upon the citizenry! Double-bonus!

    1. 21

    2. You think that’s not the long term plan?
      They have to move slowly or the massive hiring required for enforcement will become too noticeable.
      Everything the government does expands bureaucracy; government’s reach extends as far as its staff allows. Calculating how much they can get away with at any time is driven by how much they can grow staffing rather than, indeed, instead of, any other considerations.

    3. in the grave.

  7. Wait a minute, unflavored milk isn’t that just code words for white privilege?

    1. There you go. The slogan for the opposition.
      #resist

  8. Outlaw all electronics for those under 18.
    The only toys allowed for children are balls and associated support equipment (bats, cleats, and the like)
    All children must be outside unsupervised for at least three hours a day. (parents may apply for an exemption on a day by day basis if the outside temperature is over 95F or under 25F. Note: all government offices will be closed during extreme weather.)
    Mandatory step counters for all under 15, with minimum steps to be set by a committee of donors, oops I mean experts.
    All members of the legislature must maintain less than 4% body fat, and run outside in public at least two hours a day.

    1. “Mandatory step counters for all under 15, with minimum steps to be set by a committee of donors, oops I mean experts.”

      Wait, wait — how about step counters embedded under the skin? Every day at school, the kids could line up to have their step counters read (until, of course, the more advanced wireless model with real-time reporting came out)

    2. All members of the legislature must maintain less than 4% body fat, and run outside in public at least two hours a day.

      Nah, they’ll exempt themselves and their kids.

  9. The only solution to childhood obesity is to ban obesity.

    When that doesn’t work, ban children.

    1. The government has already changed all the basic laws of economics. Why not change the law of gravity? That would solve the obesity problem.

      1. My point exactly, just repeal 65% of gravity. And as an intended consequence, the lighter cars will get better gas mileage automatically.
        Plus all the woman votes.

    2. The only solution to childhood obesity is to ban obesity.

      Better yet, *tax* obesity.

      1. Tariffs on children being imported into the USA.

  10. Up next: age restrictions on soda or any other caffeinated beverage. After all, caffeine is a drug, right? We don’t allow children to consume alcohol or marijuana (where it’s legal) until 21, so why not caffeine too? It’s for the children. You don’t hate children do you? /sarc

    1. ‘…caffeine is a drug, right?’ Well, yes, but at present it has the approval of the left and besides our next president, Howard Schultz, would not stand for that.

  11. There’s an obesity “epidemic” showing up in babies under 1 year old. Anybody think that’s from a lack of exercise? Overeating?
    Clearly, something else is going on.

    1. Get that baby to the gym! Because moms at gyms are hawt!

  12. “Apparently, on New Texas, killing a politician wasn’t considered malum in se, and was malum prohibitorum only to the extent that what the politician got was in excess of what he deserved.”

    http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/20121

    1. *sigh*

      Piper, you are missed.

  13. Instead of soda, just give kids a cup of coffee and let them put all the sugar they want into it.

  14. Dear God, I hope that’s fat-free single sourced organic local milk! And none of that Mennonite milk either, I don’t trust those guys, they look too much like Team Red.

  15. I dunno, maybe if they stopped persecuting parents who let their children play outside?

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