Brickbats

Brickbat: Hide Every Trace of Sadness

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unhappy teen
Dtiberio / Dreamstime.com

Students in Pennsylvania's Northern Lebanon School District must smile when they are in school hallways between classes. Students who are caught without their happy face on are told to smile or go to a counselor to discuss their problems. If they refuse those options, they are given detention.

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  1. The punishment will continue until morale improves.

    1. The floggings will continue until moral improves.

  2. …these are the people teaching our children? We are soooo fucked…

    1. NEA!! Not Educators/Asshats…

  3. The Joker smiled all the time We know how that turned out.

      1. I have 3 hours of mowing today and only one beer in the fridge. I will correct that.

        1. I’m guessing that by now you have 3 hours of mowing remaining and no beers in the fridge.

          1. He drank his last one on the way to the liquor store.

            1. In Pennsylvania, they don’t sell beer at liquor stores. Because government. And prohibition or unions or something.

      2. You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go “according to plan”… even if the plan is horrifying.

      3. It’s always fun till someone puts my eye out…

  4. Finally, a common sense solution to the school shooting problem!

  5. “O villain, villain, smiling, damn?d villain!
    My tables?meet it is I set it down
    That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain?
    At least I am sure it may be so in Pennsylvania”.

  6. “The resource officer said, ‘We need to handle this. This can’t go on anymore,'” Gundrum said. “Principal Hassler interrupted him and said, ‘We are not punishing anybody. Can’t you just see if you can get over it. We need to teach our children to be the solution and not the problem.'”

    Seems like one way parents can start being the solution is to hire school staff who recognize they’re being paid to be the solution and not the problem.

  7. Oh, FFS.

    This is 1984-level creepy.

    I see a wonderful class action harassment lawsuit with generous payments courtesy of the retarded citizens of Lebanon County.

    1. Smiling is clearly expressive comment, so this is obviously forced speech. 1A slam dunk.

    2. This is more Brave New World than 1984.

    3. This can’t be real, can it? I mean this whole thing is so ridiculous, that it has to be some kind of hoax…. right?

    4. “This is 1984-level creepy.”

      Jane Doe, please report to Room 101. Asst. Principle O’Brien will see you now.

      1. The facial-recognition camera system reported your between-class scowl…

    5. Trust The Computer. The Computer is your friend.

      The Computer is happy. The Computer is crazy.

      The Computer wants all citizens of Alpha Complex to be happy.

      If you are not happy, The Computer will use you as reactor shielding.

  8. Someone running that school remembered the song from Annie: “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.”

    They just want to avoid nudity at school, that’s all.

  9. Ignore the bullying and you can claim that there is no bullying!

    Force all the kids to smile and you know they’re all happy!

    Brilliant!

  10. I hope they pipe music in the hallways at that school. I can suggest two very appropriate songs be played:

    Smokey Robinson’s “The Tracks of My Tears”
    Nat King Cole’s “Smile”

    1. If you want the kids to fall asleep. That music is so old it farts dust.

    2. Why not do it right?
      Pink Floyd’s “Waiting for the Worms” strikes the right chord.

      1. We don’t need no education
        We don’t need no thought control
        No creepy smiling in the hallways
        Hey! Teacher! Leave those kids alone!

  11. So how would the counselor respond when I described how depressed I was because of stupid school policies? And how much time could I waste doing this?

  12. I smiled in the school hallways a lot.
    I was always thinking of what I would like to do the some of the teachers, and all of the administration – – – – – – – – – –

  13. The state is your friend.

    Your friend wants you to be happy.

    Failure to be happy is treason.

    Treason is punishable by death.

    Are you happy?

    So what dystopian game are we going to make real next?

    1. Change “state” to “The Computer” and you have Paranoia!

  14. People who have to live in Pennsylvania have no reason to smile, it is known. Still, coercion seems like a bit much.

  15. “Why aren’t you SMILING? What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?”

  16. That linked article is some in-depth reporting.

  17. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people tell me to smile. Fuck you, maybe I don’t feel like it, and I’m not going to go around with a fake smile on my face whistling zippity do-da out my butthole just to make you feel better. Because that’s really why people want to see others smile, it’s not because they care about your problems, it’s because they want themselves to feel better. If they actually cared they might ask what’s wrong instead of hassling people into pretending to be happy so that they can also pretend to be happy.

    1. Have a nice day!!

    2. My favorite are the people (usually random strangers, in my experience) who can’t even hide their disdain for you when they tell you to smile, like “how dare you not smile while in my presence, don’t you know who I am?”)
      I usually do an obnoxious, slightly insane smile in response. It’s the simplest way to get them back for being a dick

  18. “Of course I’m smiling, I just took some awesome drugs and I worked out the kinks out of my revenge plot against the school!”

  19. Smile while you’re hating your neighbors and bullying your weaker classmates. That will make them frown and subject them to administrative discipline.

  20. ‘I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.’

  21. I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.’

  22. I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.’

  23. I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.’

  24. I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.’

    1. Is this a quotation from something? The first time you posted it, the whole thing was enclosed in (single) quotes. The other three times, the opening quote was missing, but the one at the end remained.

      1. The squirrels are back.

  25. I see four smiles.

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