Brickbats

Brickbat: Mascot or Body Spray?

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Axe
Johnypan | Dreamstime.com

In Oregon, officials have renamed South Eugene High School's teams the Axe. The teams had been named the Axemen for the past 90 years. But some said that was sexist.

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Charles Oliver is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. JeremyR

    But aren’t axes traditionally considered female? “The old battleaxe” is generally a way of describing angry, hag like women

    1. Roger the Shrubber

      The mascot should be the hag carrying an axe in one hand and the dismembered manhood of her victim in the other. It would strike fear in the opposing teams and be a true representation of the mindset of those who complained that Axemen was sexist.

      1. Roger the Shrubber

        A better idea for the logo:

        goo.gl/wM2QBZ

    2. “The old battleaxe” is generally a way of describing angry, hag like women

      Now we just call them “Hillary Clintons.”

    3. mad.casual

      Otis?

  2. Tom Bombadil

    “officials have renamed South Eugene High School’s teams the Axe”

    Christ, what an axhole.

  3. I must axe: Why not rename the team the axepersons? That would be non-sexist, right?

    1. Get To Da Chippah

      Not inclusive enough. Maybe some individuals don’t identify as people at all. I propose they be called the Axe-entities.

      1. ipsquire

        The committee considered “Tree-Fellers” but though that might appear sexist to the less literate (what’s an Oregon redneck called?).

        1. Leo Kovalensky II

          “The committee considered ‘Tree-Fellers’ ”

          And promote violence against Gaia?? I think not…

        2. “Tree-Fellers” leads straight to “Smart Fellers”, and then straight on to “Fart Smellers”, which would make teenagers laugh, and we just can NOT have THAT!!!

  4. Jerryskids

    They’re complaining about the sexism and not the violent imagery of an assault weapon designed to maim Mother Earth? I find that hard to believe.

    1. Inigo Montoya

      Mother Earth is too cis-gender. Calling xher Parental Planet is preferred. Just don’t expect to live free of charge in the basement (between core and mantle?) after graduation.

  5. BigT

    Why not assmen??

    1. Because it’s not Berkely.

    2. Inigo Montoya

      The Asshats would work.

  6. AlmightyJB

    If gender is a social construct than it wouldn’t matter if they called them the axemen, axewomen, axethey, or axeze because they would all mean the same thing. It wouldn’t matter, but it does, therefore gender must be a real thing.

    1. Rich

      Beautiful.

    2. Surely you’re not expecting logical consistency out of these dipshits?

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    1. This is too high-quality to report as spam.

  8. Inigo Montoya

    What happens when someone attacks inside a school using an axe and suddenly they become magical talismans capable of warping the minds and wills of anyone who touches one?

    An axe is just too problematic an image! The school mascot should be something like The Garden Hoes.

    1. MatthewSlyfield

      “and suddenly they become magical talismans capable of warping the minds and wills of anyone who touches one?”

      That’s nothing, Guns are magical talismans capable of warping the minds and wills of anyone who looks at a reflection of an image of one.

  9. Old Smokin' Egg

    As a person of Judaism, I’m triggered by anything that sounds remotely like “Axis”.

    1. Leo Kovalensky II

      Do you know who else played for the Axe(s)?

      1. Rich

        Axl Rose?

      2. Leo Kovalensky II

        Euclid?

      3. MatthewSlyfield

        Vikings?

      4. Aloysious

        Aimee Semple McPherson?

      5. Lizzie Borden?

  10. sarcasmic

    That’s cultural appropriation! They’re stealing from the Norsemen!

    1. Quo Usque Tandem

      The Norsemen were Northern European shitlords and as such they receive no cultural consideration. You can appropriate and stereotype Viking stuff without reservation.

      1. sarcasmic

        Oh yeah. I forgot that it’s only cultural appropriation if the culture is non-white.

        1. Leo Kovalensky II

          You’re so wrong. It’s only if it’s not cis-male white.

  11. Rich

    How about “the Acks”?

    As in “We Acknowledge your sensitivity.”

  12. Vernon Depner

    Axes are violent. How ’bout The Sporkpersons?

    1. sarcasmic

      They use sporks at KFC. KFC was founded by a white guy, but sells fried chicken. Fried chicken is cultural appropriation from black people. That makes sporks racist.

    2. Leo Kovalensky II

      We don’t like to spoon.
      We don’t give no forks.
      Knife your way right through that line.
      Rick’em rack’em SPORKS!

      1. You are under arrest for advocating violence at a school event. No knives!

        Oh, wait. Axes – – – – – –

    3. Zebra Jr.

      I carve your heart out with a spoon. I think that’s from a movie. Maybe they could be cheap plastic spoons, the kind that break?

      1. Bramblyspam

        Here’s the clip!

  13. Will Nonya

    Isn’t denying the masculine version also sexist?

    Just the right kind of sexist.

  14. JuanQPublic

    This is intellectual vacancy. It represents the wider loss of meaning going on, and yes, women are also casualties of it.

    This huge overemphasis of the apparent (“***men”) is merely topical, but somehow, it’s being regarded as important in this instance. It sends the message, “stop thinking” right past the shallowest depths.

  15. Major objective; modify the english language to make political thought of the right impossible. Accomplished.
    Minor objective; ridicule maleness at all times. Accomplished.
    Minor objective; disparage the past at all times. Accomplished.

    So in the claimed interest of helping females (and anything else considered female this week), we conclude that they are too fragile to deal with the fact that the English language has two genders; male and neuter. In addition, we replace the image of rugged individualist loggers with the unquestionably violent image of a weapon of war. Somehow this is a uniting action that will bring all students, parents, and administrators together. Well, except for the men, the individualists, and the literature scholars.

    I forget, in what part of California is Oregon?

    1. sarcasmic

      rugged individualist loggers

  16. Tonight the Axe takes on crosstown rivals the Tree in the annual Neil Peart Classic.

  17. mad.casual

    Women’s sports teams with axes?

    Just think of all the nasty gashes and bloodletting!

    1. Fuck you, Shikha (Nunya)

      That’s what I’m always thinking of. Always.

  18. PaulTheBeav

    The word woman is sexist because it has “man” in it.

    1. Good on so many levels; thank you for the post.

  19. Colossal Douchebag

    Their mascot is an electric guitar?

    1. It would be, but electricity is based on carbon fuels, even battery electricity, so unless an acoustic guitar identifies as electric, no.

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