Brickbat: Mascot or Body Spray?


Johnypan |

In Oregon, officials have renamed South Eugene High School's teams the Axe. The teams had been named the Axemen for the past 90 years. But some said that was sexist.

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  1. But aren’t axes traditionally considered female? “The old battleaxe” is generally a way of describing angry, hag like women

    1. The mascot should be the hag carrying an axe in one hand and the dismembered manhood of her victim in the other. It would strike fear in the opposing teams and be a true representation of the mindset of those who complained that Axemen was sexist.

      1. A better idea for the logo:

    2. “The old battleaxe” is generally a way of describing angry, hag like women

      Now we just call them “Hillary Clintons.”

  2. “officials have renamed South Eugene High School’s teams the Axe”

    Christ, what an axhole.

  3. I must axe: Why not rename the team the axepersons? That would be non-sexist, right?

    1. Not inclusive enough. Maybe some individuals don’t identify as people at all. I propose they be called the Axe-entities.

      1. The committee considered “Tree-Fellers” but though that might appear sexist to the less literate (what’s an Oregon redneck called?).

        1. “The committee considered ‘Tree-Fellers’ ”

          And promote violence against Gaia?? I think not…

        2. “Tree-Fellers” leads straight to “Smart Fellers”, and then straight on to “Fart Smellers”, which would make teenagers laugh, and we just can NOT have THAT!!!

  4. They’re complaining about the sexism and not the violent imagery of an assault weapon designed to maim Mother Earth? I find that hard to believe.

    1. Mother Earth is too cis-gender. Calling xher Parental Planet is preferred. Just don’t expect to live free of charge in the basement (between core and mantle?) after graduation.

  5. Why not assmen??

    1. Because it’s not Berkely.

    2. The Asshats would work.

  6. If gender is a social construct than it wouldn’t matter if they called them the axemen, axewomen, axethey, or axeze because they would all mean the same thing. It wouldn’t matter, but it does, therefore gender must be a real thing.

    1. Beautiful.

    2. Surely you’re not expecting logical consistency out of these dipshits?

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    The key to keeping body odor and sweat under control is using a very good antiperspirant deodorant and topping it off with a few sprays of flame spray. Use a day by day fragrance like Lynx Apollo body spray at the side of an Antiperspirant like 48HR rate up safety to odor precise and stay blanketed from sweat.

    1. This is too high-quality to report as spam.

  8. What happens when someone attacks inside a school using an axe and suddenly they become magical talismans capable of warping the minds and wills of anyone who touches one?

    An axe is just too problematic an image! The school mascot should be something like The Garden Hoes.

    1. “and suddenly they become magical talismans capable of warping the minds and wills of anyone who touches one?”

      That’s nothing, Guns are magical talismans capable of warping the minds and wills of anyone who looks at a reflection of an image of one.

  9. As a person of Judaism, I’m triggered by anything that sounds remotely like “Axis”.

    1. Do you know who else played for the Axe(s)?

      1. Axl Rose?

      2. Euclid?

      3. Vikings?

      4. Aimee Semple McPherson?

  10. That’s cultural appropriation! They’re stealing from the Norsemen!

    1. The Norsemen were Northern European shitlords and as such they receive no cultural consideration. You can appropriate and stereotype Viking stuff without reservation.

      1. Oh yeah. I forgot that it’s only cultural appropriation if the culture is non-white.

        1. You’re so wrong. It’s only if it’s not cis-male white.

  11. How about “the Acks”?

    As in “We Acknowledge your sensitivity.”

  12. Axes are violent. How ’bout The Sporkpersons?

    1. They use sporks at KFC. KFC was founded by a white guy, but sells fried chicken. Fried chicken is cultural appropriation from black people. That makes sporks racist.

    2. We don’t like to spoon.
      We don’t give no forks.
      Knife your way right through that line.
      Rick’em rack’em SPORKS!

      1. You are under arrest for advocating violence at a school event. No knives!

        Oh, wait. Axes – – – – – –

    3. I carve your heart out with a spoon. I think that’s from a movie. Maybe they could be cheap plastic spoons, the kind that break?

  13. Isn’t denying the masculine version also sexist?

    Just the right kind of sexist.

  14. This is intellectual vacancy. It represents the wider loss of meaning going on, and yes, women are also casualties of it.

    This huge overemphasis of the apparent (“***men”) is merely topical, but somehow, it’s being regarded as important in this instance. It sends the message, “stop thinking” right past the shallowest depths.

  15. Major objective; modify the english language to make political thought of the right impossible. Accomplished.
    Minor objective; ridicule maleness at all times. Accomplished.
    Minor objective; disparage the past at all times. Accomplished.

    So in the claimed interest of helping females (and anything else considered female this week), we conclude that they are too fragile to deal with the fact that the English language has two genders; male and neuter. In addition, we replace the image of rugged individualist loggers with the unquestionably violent image of a weapon of war. Somehow this is a uniting action that will bring all students, parents, and administrators together. Well, except for the men, the individualists, and the literature scholars.

    I forget, in what part of California is Oregon?

  16. Tonight the Axe takes on crosstown rivals the Tree in the annual Neil Peart Classic.

  17. Women’s sports teams with axes?

    Just think of all the nasty gashes and bloodletting!

    1. That’s what I’m always thinking of. Always.

  18. The word woman is sexist because it has “man” in it.

    1. Good on so many levels; thank you for the post.

  19. Their mascot is an electric guitar?

    1. It would be, but electricity is based on carbon fuels, even battery electricity, so unless an acoustic guitar identifies as electric, no.

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